To ask about allergies at a birthday party?

My son has severe allergies (as do I ), I used to add a note on the bottom of the invite explaining that it would be a Nut free event and to let me know if there were any dietary requirements

I always ask, and cater accordingly. In general though the parties are always at least nut free

I’ve always mentioned the intolerance and offered to provide food. Usually the birthday kid’s parents have also asked. I prefer it when they do as it means I don’t feel like such a pain mentioning that my kid needs something special and feel more reassured they take it seriously (mine gets very ill if he has a certain ingredient) .

If, as the host, I’m planning to cater for all the children, then I’d ask.

My DC used to have a dairy allergy and if the host didn’t ask about dietaries then I would turn up with my own food for her. I felt awkward telling the host if they hadn’t asked as it made me feel presumptuous.

Although having read these replies I realise now I could have said “X is dairy free, shall I bring food for her?”. But that didn’t occur to me at the time 🤣

The parents should tell you. I always let hosts know and often took food for DS as it wasn't fair on the hosts or (frankly) I couldn't trust them.

I always ask because I want to make sure I have food for everyone and that no small child feels excluded… that’s why I would ask, it’s a pretty normal question when you’re hosting.

I’d definitely ask about dietary requirements. Even if they don’t have allergies there could be vegetarians or a religious reason for not eating certain foods.

its really nice if you ask - it’s easy to feel like a burden when you have to say it so it’s really appreciated if you ask and if you’re able to make a child feel included it is amazing! (Parents don’t expect this - they often just want to know what you’re doing so they can provide the safe option for their kid, but it’s so appreciated!)

I use it as an excuse to message a couple of days before the party to remind them/check they haven't double booked I assume that anyone who has allergies would let me know but it's a useful way of checking in given how flaky some people can be...

I would leave it up to parents to tell me. I say that as parent of DS with allergies

When they were little I would always ask the parents either a WhatsApp msg closer to the party date or on invites

My dc have dietary requirements, I always advise when rsvping (and offer to bring food).

I'd assume anyone who needs something specific would say.

I normally ask, but dh arranged the parties this year and i don't actually know if he asked...

Allergy mum here. I think the vast majority of the time they will be in touch.
I always contact them as my daughter has complicated allergies and most parties I provide her food and cake.

She's now in reception and what typically happens in her class is when the parent posts a reminder please can you RSVP for numbers adds a "and if theres any dietary requirements let me know" comment

With class parties, I've done my own invites and asked on the rsvp if there are any food allergies.

@KerryBlues Some people don't even let you know if they're coming or not, as I've learnt after organising a few parties, and sometimes a reply text simply slips the mind during a particularly mad week. It happens.

Not just allergies but also any food avoidances (pork, beef etc).

Something like “please do let me know of any dietary requirements or allergies if you haven’t already”.

At my son’s third birthday there was a little girl with loads of allergies (we don’t know until the party). The parent didn’t tell me and couldn’t eat any of the food as they didn’t know there would be food at the party. I felt awful and we amended to suit.

My son has had a good friend who is coeliac, one with egg allergies, one with dairy allergies, one with nut allergies, one who wouldn’t eat pork and a vegetarian. Best to ask!

Would you not bother mentioning your child's allergies (if they had them) if you weren't specifically asked? How odd.

I always ask ("Please let us know of any food allergies or dietary requirements") because I expect someone to be polite enough to answer if so.
Kinda surprised a lot of people don't think it's on them to ask at all.

I always asked - same with play dates “any allergies”- v simple question

What a paranoid interpretation!

That poster just commented that no-one has asked at parties her kid is invited to. That's relevant information for OP who is asking if its the done thing to ask.

I have always just added a note on the invites. One year we had a child with soya, nut, gluten & diary allergies. I found appropriate food and then they were a no show 😂

but yes, I would assume if there were allergies and it wasn’t requested on the invite that they would let you know.

I would ask when acknowledging RSVPs.

Yes I wasn't moaning about it- just a reference guide for the OP as she is wondering whether she should.

If the party place hasn't even put it on their template, I wouldn't be sure that they've given allergies or other dietary needs much thought.

For your own peace of mind (as nobody's 5th birthday needs to be memorable for a medical emergency), I'd send a Whatsapp to confirm details/acknowledge RSVPs and asking for people to let you know if there are any allergies or dietary requirements and you'll check with the venue.