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Original poster

Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

436 replies

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 11:27

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

OP posts:
Scaredandalonepls · 02/01/2025 16:32

GymBuffMum · 02/01/2025 13:24

Pretty obvious. What other reason would he have to deliberately try to upset the OP by doing something spiteful like that.

If no HR, escalate to the boss in writing, detailing the using the ladies toilets and graffiti as well if not done already.

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He probs thought it was old crap and it sounds like it was from the way OP describes it.

Boarb · 02/01/2025 16:21

HowdyDoody2025 · 02/01/2025 16:16

So because a man decides it's crap - he gets to arbitrarily decide it needs binning???? What???

I despair

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To be fair, men or women, plenty on here see the things specified as crap that didn't need keeping on a workplace desk in the first place.

herearesomenuts · 02/01/2025 16:18

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herearesomenuts · 02/01/2025 16:17

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HowdyDoody2025 · 02/01/2025 16:16

battairzeedurgzome · 02/01/2025 16:09

Well, lesson learned: if you don't want someone to bin your crap, keep it at home, if you need to keep it at all.

So because a man decides it's crap - he gets to arbitrarily decide it needs binning???? What???

I despair

WoolySnail · 02/01/2025 16:15

Maddy70 · 02/01/2025 15:41

I cant work on a cluttered desk. That sounds like a lot of scrap paper to leave out on a shared desk it should've been put away

It's not a shared desk

HowdyDoody2025 · 02/01/2025 16:15

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 15:22

Maybe I shouldn't be so forgetful, but if I don't have things written down and in my view, I do forget stuff. Yes I'm at work, but I need to keep track of home stuff, and it's not strewn all over. As for my son's GCSE timetable, yes that was the summer just gone, and I was mentally with him for every one of those exams as he has had a difficult time over the past couple of years. I kept the timetable on my desk as a keepsake, but as it was published on Class Charts and he's left school now, I can't get that back. People might think I'm over-sentimental, but that's me.

So what if you are keeping stuff that others dont think you should - it's your stuff!

You could have anything on your desk, and still no-one has the right to touch your stuff!

Dont explain to posters WHY you have any of the stuff you had @WinkyTinky - all that does is give people a reason to excuse this nutter of a man who is quite frankly a bully.

battairzeedurgzome · 02/01/2025 16:09

Well, lesson learned: if you don't want someone to bin your crap, keep it at home, if you need to keep it at all.

peachystormy · 02/01/2025 15:59

The colleague sounds like a dick OP and I would be pissed off too. Using the woman's toilets when he wants? ughh he is disgusting.

JoannaGroats · 02/01/2025 15:57

MrsClatterbuck · 02/01/2025 14:31

We had a clear desk policy at work but it was regarding anything work related. There were checks made after work that nothing work related could be found at our desks and if so it was declared a legal incident and a black mark against you. Personal stuff was OK to have on your desk. Management were known to have personal stuff including framed photos.

Yes, a weird number of posters seem to think it’s about keeping everything “nice and neat and tidy” 😄

A clear desk policy does not mean having literally nothing on it! It’s about making sure sensitive material isn’t left on display and that valuables are secured - for example, a laptop being locked in a cupboard or into a docking station. And I’ve never known it to involve people sweeping the contents of a colleague’s desktop into the bin without so much as a by your leave.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 02/01/2025 15:56

Am I missing something here? Why is everyone going on at the op for having her son’s GCSE timetable on her desk and not that this man is using the women’s toilets and has written about a co workers chest on the toilet roll holder?

Even if the op’s desk was a state he should have just piled everything up, not thrown things away even if it was old or personal.

SharpOpalNewt · 02/01/2025 15:55

rubyslippers · 02/01/2025 11:31

Regardless of whose desk, if you see handwritten papers etc then leave in a pile and you certainly don’t throw away

if it is your desk it’s even worse that he did that

Quite. What a dick.

Starsandall · 02/01/2025 15:54

It wasn’t his place but I would put it all in a diary as it’s not relevant to your job.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 02/01/2025 15:53

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 15:22

Maybe I shouldn't be so forgetful, but if I don't have things written down and in my view, I do forget stuff. Yes I'm at work, but I need to keep track of home stuff, and it's not strewn all over. As for my son's GCSE timetable, yes that was the summer just gone, and I was mentally with him for every one of those exams as he has had a difficult time over the past couple of years. I kept the timetable on my desk as a keepsake, but as it was published on Class Charts and he's left school now, I can't get that back. People might think I'm over-sentimental, but that's me.

Honestly OP, if that timetable meant so much to you, why on earth didn't you take it home and keep it safe? Your desk at work is not your personal filing space!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 02/01/2025 15:51

Although I would not have junked your personal papers, I would certainly have shoved them in any old order into an envelope and left them in a drawer, and done it without any sort of apology. You shouldn't leave personal stuff all over your work desk and also I'd strongly suspect that you weren't concentrating on your job for a good part of the working day!

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 02/01/2025 15:51

ClearFruit · 02/01/2025 14:58

Jesus, grow up.

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No

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 02/01/2025 15:48

CustardySergeant · 02/01/2025 15:31

Is that how you behave?

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Ooooh what ya gonna do, take me into custardy?

Pipconkermash · 02/01/2025 15:47

Jesus Christ, the posters falling over themselves to defend him.

This is not ok. That’s the end of it. Take it over his head.

JHound · 02/01/2025 15:45

If it was your assigned desk your colleague is a c*nt.

If you hot desk then it is fine for him to clear it.

Maddy70 · 02/01/2025 15:41

I cant work on a cluttered desk. That sounds like a lot of scrap paper to leave out on a shared desk it should've been put away

Baileysatchristmas · 02/01/2025 15:36

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 15:22

Maybe I shouldn't be so forgetful, but if I don't have things written down and in my view, I do forget stuff. Yes I'm at work, but I need to keep track of home stuff, and it's not strewn all over. As for my son's GCSE timetable, yes that was the summer just gone, and I was mentally with him for every one of those exams as he has had a difficult time over the past couple of years. I kept the timetable on my desk as a keepsake, but as it was published on Class Charts and he's left school now, I can't get that back. People might think I'm over-sentimental, but that's me.

I am struggling to see why you'd want or need a copy of your son's GCSE timetable after the event(s) - and more to the point why you'd need it in work? Also if it's something that is so sentimental, you need to think about having a better place to keep it surely? Because anything could have happened to it - might have been knocked on the floor and/or binned by a cleaner by accident?

tothelefttotheleft · 02/01/2025 15:36

@WinkyTinky

Some responses to threads are batshit.

It was your stuff. If he had to touch it he should have collected it together and put it to one side for you.

He's an absolute pig.

snowmichael · 02/01/2025 15:32

If you're not hotdesking it's just nasty to throw someone else's stuff away - but if your pedestal was locked he couldn't stuff it all in the drawers, I guess
It's probably listed in your staff handbook somewhere whether or not there's a clean desk policy (many of my clients have one)

FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 02/01/2025 15:32

He doesn't like you and has done this to be a twat. Whilst I don't agree with some of the stuff you had on your desk, you have clearly stated that it's your desk and not a hot desk.

Why is there no HR or anything like that? Is it a very small family business? I can't really imagine circumstances where someone could do this and there be no come back from it.

CustardySergeant · 02/01/2025 15:31

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 02/01/2025 12:51

Good, then take him outside and knock fuck out of him!

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Is that how you behave?