Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

@Ohnonotmeagain are you being serious? You sound like a character out of a Charles Dickens novel.

If there are only two women in the office, could you get a lock for the toilet door and keep the key between you? I wouldn't want to use the same facilities as this fucking weirdo, that's for sure.
Oh, and he could just have put your stuff to one side, rather than binning it. He's an arsehole as well as a weirdo.

This thread, like so many, seems to be full of women who have internalised misogyny and want to explain away or minimise this man's behaviour.

This man is bullying not only the OP but all the women in this workplace. How she deals with it depends on how her workplace operates and some good ideas have been put forward, but I do think the OP needs to protect herself and get this on the record even if she says she doesn't want to take it forward at this stage, and then encourage everyone to log incidents with this man big and small with dates, times, exactly what was done or said. Take photos, keep the loo roll if he writes on it again, etc.

I disagree with the idea that you "don't have HR" though, OP, because if there is no HR department or person, that falls to your boss. Everywhere has to deal with bullying or harassment of one person, or a whole group.

With regards to the people who keep going on about 'being professional', clear desk policies etc. you must be very sheltered people having only worked in one business or one type of business, and probably a nightmare to work with because you don't actually pay attention to what you are told!! And you probably don't understand more broadly that very efficient people can have different ways of working, and also might have additional needs which the unclear desk or notes are related to! So perhaps start the new year thinking about all that instead of trying to be so right-on.

Given this update I'd let this incident go and make it your New Years Resolution to find another role. I understand that you like the job but if the owner is destroying the business, you could easily find yourself without pay if the business goes bust. No-one should be messing with your stuff but it seems there is not much you can do if he's unsackable.

Your colleague sounds like a prize wanker who needs sorting out and why are you working in a cold office? I wouldn’t accept that and I’d be hounding someone to sort out the heating as a priority.

Next, I’d have a blazing stand up row with said colleague so he wouldn’t dare touch mine or anyone else’s stuff ever again. (I have done this when it was warranted in the past and bullying colleague learnt not to mess with me.)

To be fair, he didn't bin your sleeping bag so sounds like he was just chucking what he considered was crap/scraps of paper rather than all your personal stuff.

He does still sound like a general twat though with the other comments you have made about him.

I’d hate to see a desk with ancient hand written notes left on it for years on end.

You'd hate it? What a weirdly extreme reaction to something that has zero effect on your life.

Doesn’t your work have a clear desk policy?

It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable.

Sounds like life admin, which women bear the brunt of. Even if it's out of date now, these things will still be a trigger for future admin. Some of the comments sound like they're made by very young people.

What if you think a colleague’s lunch looks disgusting? Would you take it out of the fridge and bin it? Throw away their favourite mug because it was chipped?

It wasn’t HIS! Therefore he doesn’t get to bin it, regardless of his opinion on it!

Doesn’t your work have a clear desk policy? I’d hate to see a desk with ancient hand written notes left on it for years on end. How do the cleaners clean your desk with paper left on it? I don’t blame him at all. Why on earth do you have a GCSE timetable out on your desk? Exams were either 7 months ago or in 5 months time so it’s completely unnecessary.

So what? Strictly speaking I don't "need" a plant on my desk or a pot of hand creme or some puffin coasters or family photos but anyone who came along and decided they were a load of unimportant crap would get short shrift from me.

The fundamental rule is that if you borrow someone else's desk for a short time, if you have to move anything at all you put it back exactly as you found it.

Yes, should nobody have a coat because if you leave it on a hook a colleague might throw it away?

Unless there's a rule against it, people are allowed to bring personal things to the office. In my cupboard, there is a shelf full of my colleagues' clothes. Should I throw them away because it's 'personal storage'.

Her office clearly has a different culture to ones you are familiar with. And even in an office where personal stuff isn't allowed, a colleague binning it without any discussion is unacceptable.

"See the original post, "One of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk." If that isn't a shared desk, I don't know what is. "

A shared desk is one that is officially allocated to more than one person e.g. in a hot desking situation or a job share. Someone else occasionally using a desk does not in itself make it a shared desk. I have my own desk. If someone else needed to use it temporarily, it would still be my desk.

"Who wants details of their colleagues' holiday plans, kids' exams, etc. in their work area?"

If it bothers you, move it to the side. No need to bin them!

Well, you coworker is an asshole. Next time throw some of his stuff away.

But looking at the bigger picture, the place sounds quite disorganized. Even though you like the job, I would not be sticking around for the fallout if(when?) it all does go up in flames.

As for notes, I use Microsoft OneNote. I have it on my phone as well as my PC. It syncs the notes across devices, so I never lose anything.

I think it does if it’s a load of crap 👍 an office isn’t the OPs personal storage area.

A keepsake. Right. You clearly just had a load of crap on your desk that needed to be removed and now have a bee in your bonnet.

He probs thought it was old crap and it sounds like it was from the way OP describes it.

Doesn't excuse him binning another person's stuff.

He shouldn't be touching your stuff. It makes no difference what it was, or whether or not it's "professional" to keep personal notes on your desk, the point is they are yours, and not his. He has no right to bin them If he really needed the space clear to work, he could have put them in a drawer, or in a pile somewhere else. That is some highhanded move to be pulling on you, and I hope you are making a big fuss. Don't fume silently, he's got no business touching your possessions. They were on your desk, and his behaviour was disrespectful.
You know where you stand with him now. Is it something you'd bring up with management? There needs to be a clear policy about moving people's things, especially if there is potential desk sharing.

See the original post, "One of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk." If that isn't a shared desk, I don't know what is. Should he have thrown stuff that wasn't his out? Absolutely not. Neither, in my view, should it have been left around where it would get in his way. Who wants details of their colleagues' holiday plans, kids' exams, etc. in their work area?

It’s ridiculous to suggest you shouldn’t keep anything on a desk allocated to you just in case someone else arbitrarily decides to bin it. Whether you, the OP’s colleague or anyone else thinks it’s “crap” is another matter.