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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is strange from my neighbour?

470 replies

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:43

This morning I woke up to a pack of Christmas cards that have been posted through my door. They are new Christmas cards, still sealed within their pack, unused. A note came with it saying “hi, it’s Janet from number 5. I bought these for you to send out to the neighbours next year”

Huh? Why would anyone do that? She’s isn’t my direct neighbour, she’s like 4 houses down. We don’t speak or have any kind of relationship. However, since we moved in a few years ago she has always sent us a Christmas card, and I assume she sends them to everyone on the street. We don’t bother with Christmas cards and never send them out. Could it be that she’s offended that we never send cards so this is her not so subtle way of hinting that she will be expecting a card from us in 2025?? Why would anyone care so much?

Im planning on just throwing the cards away and ignoring it. Would anyone else find this weird?

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 13:09

User860131 · 02/01/2025 13:05

This is so f£%d up OP. I think you must nip it in the bud and be very blunt. Post it back through their letter box. Write note stating that you don't post Christmas cards, that you find her behaviour very passive aggressive and that you won't be intimidated into destroying a tree for her. I'd suggest that she stops sending you cards if she finds your lack of reply so offensive as well. Be very assertive with this or it will escalate into even more batshit scenarios

Talk about escalating a situation.🙄

Rubydoobydoobydoo · 02/01/2025 13:09

Tell her you're Jewish, OP, and would really rather she didn't send you a Christmas card.

LlynTegid · 02/01/2025 13:08

Talk to her, explain reasons, as stated be blunt. If you choose not to send Christmas cards for whatever reason, that is your business.

Fraaances · 02/01/2025 13:08

Next year send them all back one at a time… with one letter in each one…

H…A…P…P…Y
X…M…A…S
J…A…N…E…T

If you want to mess with her head, mix them up before sending them.
*You could also write, “Btw, we’re Jewish/Muslim/Hindu/Buddist/Scientologist/Breatharians, Gnostics” or whatever just to throw the boot in

aphroditeflighty · 02/01/2025 13:07

Can you keep them until Christmas 2025, and then write them all out to her, and post them in one go. 😀

amoreoamicizia · 02/01/2025 13:05

Thank your lucky stars you don't love right next door to her!

User860131 · 02/01/2025 13:05

This is so f£%d up OP. I think you must nip it in the bud and be very blunt. Post it back through their letter box. Write note stating that you don't post Christmas cards, that you find her behaviour very passive aggressive and that you won't be intimidated into destroying a tree for her. I'd suggest that she stops sending you cards if she finds your lack of reply so offensive as well. Be very assertive with this or it will escalate into even more batshit scenarios

SpanThatWorld · 02/01/2025 13:04

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:48

Its not very neighbourly to not give your neighbours cards, or at least reciprocate.

I wonder if they talk about you.

I don't give cards to anyone.

They can talk about me as much as they want.
But probably they don't

Notaflippinclue · 02/01/2025 13:03

Give them back and tell her you would rather save the planet

BilboBlaggin · 02/01/2025 13:02

I don't agree with her attitude or behaviour, but as she bought them I'd just post them back through her door with a note saying thanks, but we don't bother with Christmas cards.

Username10099 · 02/01/2025 12:58

Jeezitneverends · 02/01/2025 12:42

What about that I make a charitable donation to the equivalent (probably a bit more now I think about it) of what I’d spend on cards and stamps….does that make me impolite?

That's not a bad idea tbh.
As long as a note is sent saying just that; that a charitable donation has been made in lieu of a card, to the estimated amount of card and postage.
Better the money goes to help a cause, than end up in the bin, adding to recycling woes after Xmas.

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:58

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:55

Nah l reckon they are all friendly with each other and the OP doesn't want to participate. So they gossip about that.

I mean it's no more ridiculous than letting someone send you a card for years and ignoring it.

I mean it's no more ridiculous than letting someone send you a card for years and ignoring it

Are you the forceful card giver? 😅

WigglyVonWaggly · 02/01/2025 12:57

Nobody gets to tell their neighbours to send cards or choose them for them. Very weird conduct. I’d post them back with a note: ‘thanks for thinking of us but we only send cards to our family members so we don’t want these to go to waste.’

RaininSummer · 02/01/2025 12:56

Really funny and rude. I would put them back through her door with a note as mentioned above.

Augustus40 · 02/01/2025 12:55

For all she knows you could be a Jehovah witness.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:55

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:50

And say what?

Can you believe Sarah from Number 32 hasnt said us all cards? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nah l reckon they are all friendly with each other and the OP doesn't want to participate. So they gossip about that.

I mean it's no more ridiculous than letting someone send you a card for years and ignoring it.

BarbadosItsCloserThanYouThink · 02/01/2025 12:53

It is strange of her, maybe she's lonely, is she an older person they put more value on cards. Do you talk to any other neighbours, I'd be inclined to ask if she's done this to anyone else. Part of me thinks just post them back. But maybe it would also be an act of kindness to send her one each year?

battairzeedurgzome · 02/01/2025 12:52

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:49

Absolutely do not do this. She sounds like a busy body as it is, dont engage with her or shell be round all the time with weird demands

I agree, it's weird attention-getting behaviour from someone with too much time on her hands. If you engage, you risk being sucked in.

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 12:52

Jeezitneverends · 02/01/2025 12:42

What about that I make a charitable donation to the equivalent (probably a bit more now I think about it) of what I’d spend on cards and stamps….does that make me impolite?

OP doesn't do that or she would have said.

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:50

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:48

Its not very neighbourly to not give your neighbours cards, or at least reciprocate.

I wonder if they talk about you.

And say what?

Can you believe Sarah from Number 32 hasnt said us all cards? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

SexAndCakes · 02/01/2025 12:49

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 11:53

DP also thinks this as well. He said he thinks she’s just trying to be nice and doesn’t realise it comes across rude or passive aggressive and maybe just wants a bit of community or to build a relationship. But I find it odd.. if that’s the case then it’s a strange way to go about it

I thought this too - that she likely put them through all the doors in an attempt to build some sense of community. I doubt you have been the sole target. It's extremely odd behaviour but I wouldn't give it too much thought.

No need to change what you do, though I have to say that if I had a well-meaning neighbour sending me a card over the years I would have reciprocated. Doesn't mean you have to start sending to anyone else.

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:49

EdithBond · 02/01/2025 12:27

Very odd behaviour, which comes across as patronising and interfering. But there’s a chance she may be struggling and this is an attempt to reach out to her neighbours.

I’d take them back to her. Knock her door. Ask how she is. Try to have a little friendly chat. Say, thank you very much but you don’t send Xmas cards, so have no use for them and hand them back. Be totally pleasant.

If misunderstandings aren’t nipped in the bud with neighbours they can fester and escalate. Best to be kind, friendly and upfront.

Absolutely do not do this. She sounds like a busy body as it is, dont engage with her or shell be round all the time with weird demands

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:48

Its not very neighbourly to not give your neighbours cards, or at least reciprocate.

I wonder if they talk about you.

Oioisavaloy27 · 02/01/2025 12:47

Send her one of her own cards back next year.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 02/01/2025 12:47

I would go to her door and sing...

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year

And then just when she thinks you're finished, I would continue...

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year

And slight pause then...

Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
And bring some out here
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Then bring some out here

And if you can take DP and any DC to be able to end on a beautiful (or not so beautiful) harmony all the better.

Then a flourish of thank yous and retreat back home 😂