Why do men….

I get the opposite. DP doesn't ever admit that he's feeling ill, carries on regardless until he's passed it to me and then says he's had it for a couple of days when I'm wondering exactly why I feel so crappy.

As I'm on medication to try to keep my immune system at a more normal level of activity and not everything is preventable through vaccination, I'd far rather he said something and took to his sickbed kept the hell away from me.

Still means that he doesn't do anything much about it until he's too ill to function and it would help if the NHS would give adults the chance to catch up with childhood vaccinations (his father was an original antivaxxer) instead of having to try and keep an eye on a man with Whooping Cough.

I certainly didn't appreciate the Covid he gave me through not mentioning he had a sore throat and temperature (before the vaccines came out), as I'd only just stopped having abnormalities in my heart rhythm from the first time - if I'd known, I'd have slept in the spare room instead of having him breathe and cough over me all night.

My husband is not like this at all, but I have a friend whose husband is. She suffers from debilitating migraines and he always finds an ailment of his own so he doesn’t have to help. I really don’t know how she puts up with him.

@Comedycook yes agreed, however I actually meant "man flu" in the colloquial sense, as in the term describing men as experiencing more severe symptoms with common colds etc

If he had real flu, he wouldn't be able to take tablets and get on with it. I can work through a cold or mild virus as can my dh. But actual flu knocks you for six and that's not a reflection on someone's character...

Yes and it's not just illness either. I had the day from hell at work after a 15 hr shift. I said that my brain felt frazzled.
He said his did too. I was then worried and asked him why and what he had been up to (as I knew he had the day off so I assumed something very stressful must have happened to make him feel frazzled). He said he had taken his 12 year old son to the Aquarium.

I would assume that two people who live in close proximity will catch each other's viruses, and so get ill in succession.

If you're always the first to catch viruses from outside the house then it might be worth considering what you can do with respect to handwashing, etc, to reduce the number of infections you pick up.

A teacher friend of mine used to catch viruses all the time from school or travel in the underground, but managed to stop it almost entirely when she stopped biting her nails.

No it's doesn't happen in our household. If I'm ill, I'll go to bed or lay on the sofa. Hardly any housework gets done though!

How convenient a man has commented to disagree.

I had frozen shoulder for about two years - it was agony! For a while I couldn't even drive and was on such strong painkillers I was a zombie. Couldn't bear to be touched.

DH claims he had the same condition for a week....

Dh does this. But sort of only in passing.
Weirdly, we never catch the other's actual illnesses. Never have done. And the kids don't ever seem to get ill at all, whereas I always seemed to have a cold in my teens.

I feel incredibly lucky that my partner does not do this, "man flu" and other such terms don't exist in our house! When he's unwell he doesn't say a word about it, just quietly takes tablets and gets on with everything as usual. To be completely honest I'm the wuss when it comes to this in our household 🙈

Maybe the way to avoid this is to not mention feeling unwell till an hour or so before they are due to go to golf, cycling, football whatever. Can you imagine their inner turmoil…. Can’t say they are ill too and still go

It's almost as if the sex of the person doesn't affect whether a virus spreads to someone else living in close quarters!

It’s not weak and feeble - it’s cold and calculated.

They’re selfish fuckwits who are 😱 at the thought of taking care of their partner/ child/ house. They’re pathetic, but in a disgusting, selfish way. They’re not actually weak.

DP does this as well, and it drives me up the wall. Plot twist, I'm male, she's female!

When I used to have a husband, he would always bring out his secret weapon when I was ill. His mother. No way was he going to look after me and take time out of his very important schedule of "being in his shed".

Well, yes when I'm ill, generally DH will catch it within a couple of days. And when DH is ill, generally I will catch it within a couple of days. That's not that surprising is it?

If he's being useless that's a separate issue.

OP do you know how contagious illnesses work? If you share a living space with someone who has a cold, chances are you'll catch it from them. Last month DP got a cold first and like clockwork I got it a few days later.

The real question is why so many MN posters instinctively think their partners fake illnesses. It's a really weird thing to do and not something I encounter much in real life. When DP or I are ill the other one's instinct is to believe them and look after them (while trying to avoid catching it). If I was ill and my partner always accused me of faking or exaggerating that would be awful.

It definitely is common from reading on here.- some men just don’t like to be asked to hold the fort/ carry on with daily tasks on their own!

Obviously sometimes you will pass illnesses on to each other, but not everyone time, and not “worse” every time.

I do seem to manage to feel ill every time my 10 yo is ill, but weirdly not my teenager. I guess it’s because he is still very much one for cuddles etc and the teenager isn’t!

No. My DH is brilliant if I am ill.

He seems to have the constitution of an ox and rarely catches anything.
When DC were young, he would look after them if I ,or they were ill, and also happily care for them just so I could have a lie in.

I complain about him, but reading MN has made me appreciate him a lot more.

Maybe…. They caught it?

My husband doesn't do this. He generally handles illness better than I do and will try to keep going, whereas I am often knocked for six by viruses. Of course, sometimes we get the same thing in succession but there's no pattern of it always being me first and then him.