Sorry this is going to be long. I split up with my ex in 2007. Long story short we had a tumultuous relationship because he was a bit odd. We had a pattern of breaking up and getting back together until my mum died, he came over and stayed with me even though we weren’t together. We had sex. He went home (20 miles away) the next day and when I tried to text him he wasn’t answering. So I drove over to find out what was going on because the sex for me meant we were back together. When I got there he didn’t want to let me in but I forced my way in only to find that one of his fuck buddies was there. A woman he had known from school he used for sex. I had a moment of clarity. An emancipation in a way. I realised there was no future with this man. But he doesn’t like us not being in touch. His birthday is tomorrow and normally I would message him but honestly I don’t want to. I don’t want him in my life, yet I will feel guilty for not wishing him a happy birthday. Why does he insist on us keeping in touch, I don’t understand it. We haven’t met in person for 17 years and he has the exact same annoying habits he had when we were together. Should I just stonewall him from now on and please help me not to feel guilty about it.