To think "bollocks" *is* a swearword inappropriate for children

Mamagiraffe · 2025-01-01T22:13:47+00:00

Having a bit of an argument with STBXH and I'd appreciate a reality check on whether or not I'm being unreasonable. YABU- bollocks is a perfectly appropriate word to send in a meme to an 11 year old boy YANBU- bollocks is an inappropriate word to send in a meme to an 11 year old boy

Willyoujustbequiet · 02/01/2025 18:24

It's only very mild. I think it's one of my favourites tbh.

He'll hear a lot worse at school.

Topseyt123 · 02/01/2025 18:02

I think "Happy New Year and all that bollocks" is actually a very good and descriptive way of articulating what so many of us feel about the utter bollocks that is New Year. I might adopt the phrase myself in time for December 31st 2025 onwards. 🤣🤣

In all seriousness though, this just wouldn't bother me at all, as long as he understands that there's a time and a place. You can't stop him hearing swear words or seeing them in writing, and "bollocks" is pretty mild really. Very satisfying though, and trips neatly off the tongue. I love a good "bollocks" myself. 🤣

duckduckgooseduckagain · 02/01/2025 17:59

Nah, that wouldn't bother me. I took my kids to see Bottom at the theatre as they loved the TV programme and they were younger than 11.

cariadlet · 02/01/2025 17:54

@merryhouse Yes! Freaky Fables! Thank you - I'd forgotten what they were called.

TheatreTraveller · 02/01/2025 17:49

Not a big deal to send a funny meme to a secondary age child.

Jinglejanglenamechanged25 · 02/01/2025 17:49

Pretty sure I was watching bottom when I was 11, far worse things in the world than a few swears.

sanityisamyth · 02/01/2025 17:47

There are worse words 🤷‍♀️

merryhouse · 02/01/2025 17:46

cariadlet · 01/01/2025 22:49

I would say that it's an ok word for an 11 year old to say when talking to their friends but not a word for a parent to use to a child or a child to use to a parent. Not one of the worst words but definitely sweary.

To slightly derail, I remember exclaiming, "Bollocks, Pollux!" at the dinner table when I was a bit older than that. My parents were very unimpressed.

I was a pretty innocent, nerdy kid and had no idea what the word meant. I'd read it in Punch (the magazine used to retell myths in comic strip form) and just liked the sound of it.

Freaky Fables!

(Read down, not across! How many more times?)

To address the OP - it's not something I would have done (my son still thought I Didn't Swear when he was 15) but in the context given I think I'd just raise an eyebrow.

Metaphorically. Can't do it literally (boo).

shewillbefinestopworrying · 02/01/2025 17:22

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:24

Everyday offhand Happy New Year and all that Bollocks (a Rick and Ade in Bottom picture for context). To me, I find this normalising the swearing since it's coming from his dad. There's other things which are colouring my view of his parenting overall which is why I need a bit of a sense check on this one. As someone said upthread- it is mild swearing but I'm being made out to be a Victorian shrew for this being the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

Show quote history

You are being ridiculous.

cariadlet · 01/01/2025 22:49

I would say that it's an ok word for an 11 year old to say when talking to their friends but not a word for a parent to use to a child or a child to use to a parent. Not one of the worst words but definitely sweary.

To slightly derail, I remember exclaiming, "Bollocks, Pollux!" at the dinner table when I was a bit older than that. My parents were very unimpressed.

I was a pretty innocent, nerdy kid and had no idea what the word meant. I'd read it in Punch (the magazine used to retell myths in comic strip form) and just liked the sound of it.

madson · 01/01/2025 22:41

Tricky I wouldn't use swearing as a gauge on parenting technique / capability / negativity / anything

For some people it's a form of every day language for others it's not in there vocab

It's just language and unless it's used aggressively I don't see the fucking issue

qotsa · 01/01/2025 22:40

I always frame it as ..... what they would or wouldn't say in front of their teachers/grandparents type thing when it's one of the 'in between' with swear word type words iyswim. So I definitely think it's in appropriate.

Ablondiebutagoody · 01/01/2025 22:39

Not a problem. Same level as shit.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/01/2025 22:38

By the end of September, it's common to overhear 'Fuck off, you fucking cunt' on the bus from all but the most timid 11 year old (they usually stop at Fuck). Using bollocks instead would be an expansion of vocabulary and slightly less jarring on the ears.

DoAWheelie · 01/01/2025 22:37

As a one off joke picture it's fine. If it was all day every day being said and texted then I'd agree it's encouraging swearing, but as a one off joke it's only funny because it's a bit unexpected in a new year's message. The joke wouldn't work at all without it.

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:34

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:24

Everyday offhand Happy New Year and all that Bollocks (a Rick and Ade in Bottom picture for context). To me, I find this normalising the swearing since it's coming from his dad. There's other things which are colouring my view of his parenting overall which is why I need a bit of a sense check on this one. As someone said upthread- it is mild swearing but I'm being made out to be a Victorian shrew for this being the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

Show quote history

This wouldn’t bother me at all as a funny meme to an 11 year old in high school. It would be a different story if he was 6

raysan · 01/01/2025 22:34

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:32

I'd love to but since he's on my sofa in order to facilitate his contact it's not. I am actively seeking this as a resolution but alas this may be expecting too much.

Show quote history

😶

Original poster

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:32

raysan · 01/01/2025 22:29

Chalk it up to 'different house, different rules'. I wouldn't do this myself but some of my best friends (wonderful parents) would use stronger words around 11 yos in certain contexts

I'd love to but since he's on my sofa in order to facilitate his contact it's not. I am actively seeking this as a resolution but alas this may be expecting too much.

OP posts:

ManHereSorry · 01/01/2025 22:31

His dad’s job is to prepare his son for adult life. Proper use of profanities is a crucial skill for any young man.

Chugnut · 01/01/2025 22:31

In a meme? It's fine. I wouldn't have a problem with such a mild swear. There are other words that are far more offensive - like toilet or pardon.

I'm sure an 11 year old is familiar with the word and others similar. Ligma and deez being current ones...

Original poster

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:30

It seems the voting is skating around 50/50 largely so I'll accept that it's arguable and there's no clear answer.
I'm not actively seeking issues I've just had enough of alot of things and this really pushed a button for me. I will bow to Mumsnet. Thanks for the sense check folks

OP posts:

theduchessofspork · 01/01/2025 22:30

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:18

He's at seniors already. He clearly will be saying things he shouldn't with other kids but do you think it's ok for a grown man to encourage this? His dad?

Show quote history

Well, I wouldn’t be keen on it, but it’s not a hill I’d die on, as he’ll hear this and much more at school.

Co-parenting is hard and you do have to pick your battles to avoid all out war which is destructive to everyone. I’d just ask your ex not to make a habit of it.

raysan · 01/01/2025 22:29

Chalk it up to 'different house, different rules'. I wouldn't do this myself but some of my best friends (wonderful parents) would use stronger words around 11 yos in certain contexts

MartinCrieffsLemon · 01/01/2025 22:26

Mamagiraffe · 01/01/2025 22:24

Everyday offhand Happy New Year and all that Bollocks (a Rick and Ade in Bottom picture for context). To me, I find this normalising the swearing since it's coming from his dad. There's other things which are colouring my view of his parenting overall which is why I need a bit of a sense check on this one. As someone said upthread- it is mild swearing but I'm being made out to be a Victorian shrew for this being the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

Show quote history

That's fine imo

And swearing is normal.

It's clear you're actively seeking issues and this is one to let go

RegulatorsMountUp · 01/01/2025 22:25

My nearly 8 year old knows some swear words, understands they're not to be used and can perfectly well ignore them in songs/films etc. I'm sure your 11 year old can overcome this 😄 sounds like you're just looking for reasons to be annoyed at your ex.