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Original poster

To sleep with a 25 year old

568 replies

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:28

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

OP posts:
IridiumSky · 02/01/2025 00:00

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/01/2025 23:32

Your reputation is invaluable. You can't get it back if your name is smeared. I personally couldn't as I'd feel as though I were playing with fire.

Good God!

Check the calendar please. It’s just turned 2025, not 1825.

I’m only a man, but am both astonished and appalled by many of the misogynistic, bitchy, prudish replies the poor OP has received.

I’m new here. Is this how ‘The sisterhood’ behaves to each other? It’s genuinely horrible. I adore female company, and am not a young man, so am not entirely inexperienced in these matters, but never knew that this level of inter-female competitiveness and envy (I do rather think that’s what some of this is) existed.

Oh well, never mind, I’m a scientist: I love learning new things … 🙄

YourGladSquid · 02/01/2025 00:00

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:50

Good point about birth control.

My niece had a friend who became a father at 17.
Unplanned and a result of a fling with his mother's 42 year old friend. It messed with him badly and he drowned in a questionable boat accident.

Your neighbour is more mature, so not quite the same.

I feel like 17 and 42 doesn’t qualify as a fling, even if it’s above age of consent.

PickledOwl1 · 01/01/2025 23:59

Well I'd be pretty unhappy if it was my 25 year old you were creeping over tbh

I Mean, yeah. By all means - you go girl. But it's a large age gap and I don't think it's right. I'd find a man doing it pretty repulsive and I feel the same as a woman doing it.

PassingStranger · 01/01/2025 23:55

Copperoliverbear · 01/01/2025 23:52

I agree with you, I would feel it's morally wrong, you're old enough to be his mother.

She's not his mother though is she and it's up to her not you.

Lemonn · 01/01/2025 23:55

Slightly different but a few years ago when I was 25, I slept with a 49 year old. Other way round as I am the female.. it was fun whilst it lasted and I don't regret it. Never meant for a long term thing but we enjoyed each others company for a while and had fun. Very similar as we also lived on the same road and it was easy.. Be prepared for your neighbours seeing you calling at his/his at yours though!

ZestyJoey · 01/01/2025 23:53

Also I'm pretty sure he only wants OP cuz she hasn't yet surrendered. Once he feels he has her, his desires will have no where to go but down so OP should be prepared for that. Like everyone else said, playtime only 😁

Copperoliverbear · 01/01/2025 23:52

I agree with you, I would feel it's morally wrong, you're old enough to be his mother.

ZestyJoey · 01/01/2025 23:51

HPandthelastwish · 01/01/2025 20:37

What life stage is he at, that makes all the difference. Still living with his parents who are your neighbours absolutely not.

Him living independently is less creepy but I'd be thinking if I had a 25 year old son would I be happy with him going out with a 43 year old? Personally I'd stay within 7-10 years of your age either way.

Actually the formula is "divide by two, add seven"

So op can date anyone as young as (42/2 + 7) 28 so yea, he's too young but only by 3 years 😭

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:50

Good point about birth control.

My niece had a friend who became a father at 17.
Unplanned and a result of a fling with his mother's 42 year old friend. It messed with him badly and he drowned in a questionable boat accident.

Your neighbour is more mature, so not quite the same.

Firefly1987 · 01/01/2025 23:49

Tink3rbell30 · 01/01/2025 20:36

No that's weird and creepy, plenty of men available in your age bracket.

I bet there's not!

YourGladSquid · 01/01/2025 23:49

Could you genuinely be on the Flowershow committee with his mother?

Not the Flowershow committee! OP, there goes your social life.

YourGladSquid · 01/01/2025 23:48

Shags can quickly become deep to young people.

If the stories my DD tells me are anything to go by, that’s a rarity these days.

4forksache · 01/01/2025 23:47

Don’t shit on your own doorstep, as the saying goes 😃

Ilovelifeverymuch · 01/01/2025 23:44

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 23:40

I genuinely would like to know if you've asked all of these questions with each person you've slept with?

Edited
Show quote history

Please ignore all the sanctimonious posters. There is nothing wrong having a fling with a younger man as long as he is an adult and willing. You don't need to justify yourself to strangers on mumsnet.

Original poster
Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 23:41

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:40

Shags can quickly become deep to young people.

You are most likely going to not regret the fling.

Edited

This is actually a very good point. I will treat him respectful and I will make it clear friends only from the start... if we go ahead that is.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:40

Shags can quickly become deep to young people.

You are most likely going to not regret the fling.

Myfluffyblanket · 01/01/2025 23:40

Do it . Go have a good lunch . You will get to know each other a little and find out if there really is enough chemistry to make you want to spend more time with him , whether it's 'intimate' time or just an easy , mutually pleasing , flirtatious friendship . Incidentally , I hear tell of women in certain circumstances being surprisingly fertile .
(Ahem ...pop into the chemist on the way to lunch .)

Original poster
Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 23:40

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:31

Complex
How would you respect yourself more?
How is he likely to respect you more?
Think long term and being trustworthy neighbours.
You might enjoy not being exlovers.
Use your wisdom. What is most beneficial to him? Does it complicate him being available to meet a life partner his own age?
Will his eventual young wife like to live next door to you?
Could you genuinely be on the Flowershow committee with his mother?
If he were your son, would you warm to the older woman?

Edited

I genuinely would like to know if you've asked all of these questions with each person you've slept with?

OP posts:
HolyPeaches · 01/01/2025 23:40

Tel12 · 01/01/2025 22:03

You are just establishing yourself in the village. Just don't. Make friends with his mum.

This has got to be the most craziest reply 😂

What does “establishing yourself in the village” even mean? The OP’s sex life is absolutely nothing to do with other people in the village.

You sound like one of those fishwife busybody curtain twitchers. Like fuck should she make friends with this guys random mother.

Dotto · 01/01/2025 23:39

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/01/2025 23:32

Your reputation is invaluable. You can't get it back if your name is smeared. I personally couldn't as I'd feel as though I were playing with fire.

😂😂

Missreginafalange · 01/01/2025 23:37

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:31

Complex
How would you respect yourself more?
How is he likely to respect you more?
Think long term and being trustworthy neighbours.
You might enjoy not being exlovers.
Use your wisdom. What is most beneficial to him? Does it complicate him being available to meet a life partner his own age?
Will his eventual young wife like to live next door to you?
Could you genuinely be on the Flowershow committee with his mother?
If he were your son, would you warm to the older woman?

Edited

It's a shag, really not that deep.

mikado1 · 01/01/2025 23:33

I think op seems like someone who can v much own this situation, however it works out.
For the sake of equality, I've considered my reaction to one of the 25yo women in work and one of the 40 something men, honestly once they're single, I wouldn't think anything of it! I'm the same at heart as I was at 25, it doesn't seem that long ago. Experience and wisdom yes,huge growth but he's a fully fledged adult. Enjoy OP!!

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 01/01/2025 23:32

I was horrified when my then 18yo spent the night with a 40yo he'd met at a club. He'd literally been in school uniform earlier that day.

But 25 seems old enough to make one's own sensible choices and there's less likelihood of a power imbalance.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/01/2025 23:32

Your reputation is invaluable. You can't get it back if your name is smeared. I personally couldn't as I'd feel as though I were playing with fire.

user1492757084 · 01/01/2025 23:31

Complex
How would you respect yourself more?
How is he likely to respect you more?
Think long term and being trustworthy neighbours.
You might enjoy not being exlovers.
Use your wisdom. What is most beneficial to him? Does it complicate him being available to meet a life partner his own age?
Will his eventual young wife like to live next door to you?
Could you genuinely be on the Flowershow committee with his mother?
If he were your son, would you warm to the older woman?

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