To sleep with a 25 year old

So can a man of that age have sex with a younger woman without being told he's a pervert? Because that is often the case when it's debated here

As long as it’s legal, yes. Women can do whatever they want. A novel concept, I know.

Surely you know the Police have a temporal disparity ray gun that they point at couples in the street (whilst hiding in hedges).
If an offence is detected, the miscreants either pay a fixed penalty, or are forced to attend a reeducation course on Mumsnet, where they are shown the error of their ways.
😀

So women can basically do what they want? There is a disparity in age, in experience, in emotional maturity in both scenarios. And she's old enough to be his mum.

But a woman is not a man! She does not look like a man, she does not act like a man and, unlike a male, is not a natural predator.

Living nearby does emphasise the need to end things amicably when they choose to move on. It does not appear that the OP is expecting for ever and ever, amen!

No, don't do it. If you were a man asking if it's OK to have sex with a much younger woman then people would say ' yuk'. I don't see any difference. And if he lives nearby then there could be further issues. But I do have a son of about that age, I think it's different when in that position.

Too close to home. No room for manoeuvre when or if this peters out. Neighbours talk especially in villages.

Obviously none of my business but I'm puzzled that 2 years made such a difference to you. 🤔

17 year gap - split "for obvious reasons"
15 year gap - "love of my life"

Personally, I have no issue with age gap relationships. My partner and I have a 10 year difference. We're also friends with one couple with a 16 year gap and another with a 22 year gap. That last one was probably most controversial as she was 17 and he was 39 when they got together. However, they're still hapily together after almost 30 years.

Aaron Taylor Johnso who had been groomed when he was a teenager by his director is not exactly a great example.

Well said

I obviously don’t think it is enviable, which is why I am not jealous

Because OP mentioned she has recently lost weight. Buy no, I don't find overweight people attractive, to each their own. Sorry sister

Life is short, go for it ❤️

It was the op who drew attention to her weight loss.

Why did you feel the need to add the word 'slim'? A bigger person can also be very attractive. You're not being too 'sisterly' either

I think it's easy for posters to tell OP to forget what the neighbours/locals think and to go for it. It reality, when the shit hits the fan, and your sexual activities are spread about a pub/group of friends, its very hard to maintain dignity and self-respect. You can't buy your reputation back. You would look like a mad woman sleeping with a man in his 20s.

And I would equally judge a young male in this scenario. I would always be very wary and cautious around a male who would pursue an older woman just for sex/thrills. His reputation would be tarnished imo.

I've shagged loads of much younger men, but wouldn't shag someone so physically close. Even a road away would be ok, but 6 doors away? Nah.

There actually are loads of men in their 20s who will pursue decent-looking women in their 40s and 50s, and you might be surprised how much you turn out to have in common. Especially if you are both somewhat alternative in lifestyle.

Maybe this has skewed my view, but these don't tend to be jack-the-lads, they are just looking for something a bit different. I recognise it from myself at that age when I dated older men - I wanted to learn what they knew. Not just sex, but everything!

That means going into it assuming it will end when he's learned what he wanted to know. The other thing to beware of is not turning into a mother figure, and that can be quite difficult when you realise how much in need of mothering some of them are - which can be another reason they are looking for an older woman.

But going into it looking for a bit of fun is fine! Just maybe not with this guy.

If it were a 43 year old man being egged on to have a fun shag with a 25 year old woman and report back I'd describe that as grim.

But here's the thing @PierceMorgansChin -

No one on this thread , until you, were trying to say that the younger-male-pursues-older-woman thing is "enviable".

The OP was just saying she was attracted to someone who is younger. Why does that trigger folk like yourself to go and say "yeah but that's nothing, that experience is two a penny in my world..."

It's like a mate going out and buying a 20 year old Porsche, and being so happy he's finally got his dream car, only for a co-worker to say "I could have bought three of those with my savings , last week".......erm, no one asked?

Also "pumped and dumped"... who is to say that would be the case every time? Aaron Johnson and Sam Taylor-Wood, and I could name a myriad of others. Why devalue the OP's potential experience before it begins, unless you just want to have a dig?

I don't think "women should aspire to be desired by men who could be their sons".

But I also don't think a woman desiring another adult (and that's what he is - an ADULT) and him desiring her back, is worthy of verbal devaluation by people on here.

OP is attractive, and she's found a young chap that she fancies the pants off, who thinks the same. You coming on here and telling us all that you could have had numerous such occasions of this , just makes you sound very keen to devalue her experience as 'commonplace' , and there's only one word for that motivation..

This is spot on - it's the use of words like "grim" and "skank" which just holds back all of us. Don't slut shame the OP, she's not done anything wrong , or even acted on anything. She just wants to explore an idea, and there's nothing even wrong with the premise!

They do compare. It's ridiculous to say they don't.

The human brain is only fully mature around 25 years of age. Anything before that is slightly iffy.

Do you think younger male pursuing 40 year old woman is some rare occurance, something enviable? There's lots of young lads at my gym, even more at my pub, they are young and horny. I don't entertain them because I don't want to be pumped and dumped, gossiped about, also I have not much in common with 25 year old. You're saying people are jealous implies women should aspire to be desired by men who could be their sons. If genders were reversed would you mind people calling it gross?

OK, there is a risk of adverse comments in any village or small town, l get that. But there is such a thing as discretion. You don’t have to have sex in view of the street with the curtains open.

should he lack discretion and start boasting in the pub etc, the OP could also turn the tables and do the same about her potential friend and say he’s no good etc.

Finally, this is Mumsnet for goodness sake, words such as skanky, slut, slag etc should not be used by women about other women; there’s no excuse.

Nope. There have been a few posters advising the OP against but for genuine reasons. They’re saying it could complicate things that the guy lives a few doors down etc. I don’t necessarily agree with what they’re saying, but it’s clear there is no jealous or nefarious motive and they’re simply advising the OP to look out for herself.

Then we have the posters using words like ‘grim’ and ‘skank’ and the over use of vomit emojis (which is pretty pathetic if you ask me) it’s clear those motivations are completely different. You can see why we would jump to an accusation of jealousy…