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Original poster

To be irritated by my boyfriend's daughter using my stuff?

193 replies

BrianWankum · 01/01/2025 18:40

I don't live here and am here maybe once a month, probably less recently as I've been v busy. She is 17, doesn't live here either, stays once or twice a month. I haven't actually seen her for ages.

I keep a few bits here - last time I was here I couldn't find my hairbrush and my boyfriend went in her room and found it in a drawer. This time I couldn't find my hairbrush, hairdryer, heat protection spray or deodorant - they were all in her room and the deodorant was in a drawer.

I do also have shower stuff here that hasn't moved from where I last used it. I'm grumpy today anyway and finding this highly irritating, I don't really want to share with her, I'm not her mother! I bought an extra hairdryer at home because I got fed up with mine wandering off when my own daughters stay. Am I just being a miserable cow, given that it doesn't actually use up my hairdryer and deodorant is cheap?

OP posts:
diddl · 01/01/2025 20:09

How is it tight not to share stuff that someone else should actually not need to share as they should have their own available?

Ihopeyouhavent · 01/01/2025 20:05

Typical teenager, borrows stuff with the intention of returning and then just forgets.

Get her dad to buy her the stuff she keeps borrowing.

JHound · 01/01/2025 20:04

I would be annoyed too. It’s weird and rude. He should speak to her and tell her her to refrain from using your stuff but he will get her her own.

I don’t understand why people use other people’s brushes anyway. It’s weird.

LynetteScavo · 01/01/2025 19:57

Ablondiebutagoody · 01/01/2025 19:05

I don't see the problem with sharing stuff. You sound very tight

Because when you want to use your hairbrush it's annoying not to have it to hand. The OP doesn't want to have to ask her partner to search for it. Hell, I don't even want to search my own DDs room when I realise she's made off with all my hairbrushes, and I'm definitely not tight, but I don't want to go out with bird nest hair.

It would give the DP's DD the basics that she keeps using, and either take home my own things or keep them in a bag tucked away.

Winterskyfall · 01/01/2025 19:57

I would not be happy with someone using my brush, that grosses me out. Ask her to please leave your stuff alone.

AnnaKing81 · 01/01/2025 19:54

Ablondiebutagoody · 01/01/2025 19:05

I don't see the problem with sharing stuff. You sound very tight

I agree.

Clearly lots of bitter stepmother/step girlfriends on here even though they are adults don't like sharing their boyfriend/husband.

She is obviously lacking in these products when she's there, otherwise she would not use them. Her father hasn't noticed.

pestowithwalnuts · 01/01/2025 19:53

cestlavielife · 01/01/2025 19:16

Buy duplicates for her and put in a bag from a charity shop or pound land.
Do same for yours and label each bag

And you think that will work ?
Just take them home or hide them.

IgoogledYOLO · 01/01/2025 19:53

Could your DP have got confused and assumed they were DDs and returned them to her room?
So odd.

Mockingjay876 · 01/01/2025 19:51

The hairbrush would bother me as I don’t think it’s hygienic to share that. The other items wouldn’t bother me but I’d expect them to be put back where I left them.

Bellyblueboy · 01/01/2025 19:50

MissRoseDurward · 01/01/2025 19:49

Dad needs to buy her these things. It's as simple as that

She's 17. Why can't she buy her own? At that age I was choosing and buying my own toiletries.

at that age my parents bought deodorant and tampons and shower gel and shampoo.

I think that’s one of the basics of parenting? Food, a roof over their head and basic hygiene.

MissRoseDurward · 01/01/2025 19:49

Dad needs to buy her these things. It's as simple as that

She's 17. Why can't she buy her own? At that age I was choosing and buying my own toiletries.

Betchyaby · 01/01/2025 19:48

Her dad needs to make sure she has provisions for when she is there. Give him a list.

PullTheBricksDown · 01/01/2025 19:48

If you're hardly there, and she's hardly there, whose place is this actually? I'm confused about the set up.

diddl · 01/01/2025 19:47

FloralCrown · 01/01/2025 19:44

Why isn't her dad buying her essentials, like deodorant and a hairbrush?

Surely if she had these things she wouldn't borrow yours?

Perhaps her dad thinks he doesn't have to buy these as Brian's are there to use?

BIossomtoes · 01/01/2025 19:47

I couldn’t get worked up about the hairdryer or the deodorant!

Nor me, the only thing that would annoy me is having to look for them because they’ve been moved.

FloralCrown · 01/01/2025 19:44

Why isn't her dad buying her essentials, like deodorant and a hairbrush?

Surely if she had these things she wouldn't borrow yours?

postingpastbedtime · 01/01/2025 19:41

Dad needs to buy her these things. It's as simple as that

Bellyblueboy · 01/01/2025 19:39

I couldn’t get worked up about the hairdryer or the deodorant! On the hairbrush don’t leave one there - keep one in your handbag.

why does her dad not add women’s deodorant to his shopping? If his daughter stays occasionally he should have her basic needs covered.

BookGoblin · 01/01/2025 19:33

cestlavielife · 01/01/2025 19:16

Buy duplicates for her and put in a bag from a charity shop or pound land.
Do same for yours and label each bag

Why must the bag come from one of these two places specifically?

coolkatt · 01/01/2025 19:32

I'm wondering why she doesn't have her own? Give her dad a list of girls necessities including period stuff. Buy a cheap brush and hairdryer, couple bottles deodorant and hairspray, whatever u think and keep it in her room. Then if after this she still uses ur stuff then she's a cf doing it deliberately. But it's down to ur boyfriend to provide for her or if she works then she should be bringing her own crap with her.
Put ur stuff in a wee bag and stick it in the back of ur car or put a wee lock on it in ur bf wardrobe

HPandthelastwish · 01/01/2025 19:25

I wouldn't leave stuff there, you aren't there very often just keep a small suitcase or overnight bag packed that you can grab and go with the things you need. Useful for work trips, emergency hospital stays or visits to family too.

mathanxiety · 01/01/2025 19:22

It's grim to use someone else's hairbrush imo.

mathanxiety · 01/01/2025 19:21

YANBU

Take all of your stuff home. She's old enough to know the difference between 'mine' and 'not mine'.

Make your own DCs return stuff to its place too. You shouldn't need to buy an extra hair dryer.

ohyesido · 01/01/2025 19:21

What is with people who think they can just take and use other people's belongings.

"Oh I didn't think you wanted it as you weren't using it" I had to grow up hearing that from my wicked sister who would steal my dinner from the fridge if I didn't get to it fast enough!

WickedlyCharmed · 01/01/2025 19:18

Keep a small suitcase there and store your stuff in it, along with a massive strap on dildo, handcuffs and a gimp mask.

She’ll only go rooting in it once.