To be irritated by my boyfriend's daughter using my stuff?

Why the actual should op give her boyfriend a list of what his own child needs? Fgs tell him to buy her what she needs yes but a list? No.

I’d do this, too.

I wouldn’t like to share a hairbrush or deodorant, I only use roll ons.

I would throw everything in my lockable hand luggage case.

Thinking long term though, is this an early warning as your boyfriend shouldn't allow his daughter to plunder your stuff....

YANBU to be annoyed. But you know your own DDs do this, so expecting better behaviour from someone else’s DD seems unlikely to get you anywhere. Many teens act fairly entitled with things in their parents’ houses.

You’re there less than once a month so leaving things lying around isn’t the best “guest” behaviour either. As PP says, the point is to have them there when you need them so get a small bag/suitcase to keep them in, locked if necessary.

Deodorant is definitely personal.
Hair brushes/combs at the hairdresser/barber are, or should be, placed in clearing solutions between uses. My own hair brush is just that, my own.
If you borrow my hair dryer then return it.

If they're household items though why wouldn't you put them back for others to use?

If for example they were in Op's room then they're not household items.

One person helping themselves to another's stuff isn't sharing.

It is annoying to not know where your stuff is and to find out that it has been used without permission.

You have some choices:

1. Suck it up (but I am guessing that if this were the case, you wouldn't have posted here)
2. Talk to her and tell her she must ask you or her Dad first or put it back where she found it. Teens often think everything in the house is theirs!
3. Hide or lock your stuff away.

YANBU.

My DD used to borrow my things..
Difference is she'd ask first and returned them back to where she got them from once finished.

Exactly would never have occurred to me that any hairbrush, deodorant or hairdryer were ‘belongings’ at that age. My daughter and stepdaughter similarly use that stuff freely in our house, even though they have their own if they can’t find it they use mine. I don’t care. I also don’t get hairbrushes being ‘unhygienic’? Do people not have their hair brushed at the hairdressers? Do you think each brush is sterilised between uses?? This is one person using it once.

I can hear my DD rooting through my things right now. That's probably a Clarins eye cream m or a decent mascara I will never see again! If she just used it and didn't take the whole thing I wouldn't care. It's annoying when things disappear, but I won't say anything. DD will probably claim I'm happy to share all my things with her.
There is a difference between using something and taking the whole product to use, so the person who it belongs to can't find it, which is what the OP is dealing with.

Keep your things in a small lockable cabin bag.

In your shoes i'd put hairdryer, deodorant etc in a bag and keep in the wardrobe/bedroom drawer. The rule of thumb here is if something is left in the bathroom it's fine for all to use - only exception being shower/bath gel that's been bought as a gift, my will DDs usually put their initials on the bottle and everyone else then leaves it alone. Rummaging through someone's cupboards or drawers to find and 'borrow' their items is a no-no. Everyone should have their personal things respected.

Fwiw my DDs only spend 2 nights a month at their Dad's and they take whatever they need with them when they go to stay. I don't think he even buys toothbrushes for them any more, though he did when they were younger. I think it's a bit rubbish of him tbh, but my DDs don't mind so i keep out on it. But it might help if you DP ensures his DD does have everything she needs there.

100%!

Let it go. She’s 17.

Take your stuff home.

That’s such a good point. I remember when I left home being astonished that I had to buy toothpaste!

I agree it’s irritating, but at her age you see these things as household items, like the kettle or milk.

@BrianWankum my daughter always used my stuff. it is fine!

I wouldn't care at all, if you're planning on this being a long term relationship then you'll be know eachother as adults, I wouldn't introduce hostility over something petty like that personally.

I wouldn’t be happy with this, it feels liked she’s nosying about and not respecting privacy.

I’d keep it in a closed drawer, or a closed bag so it’s very clear it’s not left out for general use. If she still takes it then that would be incredibly rude and I’d speak to her about it.

Do a nice thing like get her a basket of stuff and a hairdryer to use while at yours ( so it stays at yours).

Take her shopping to get it?

She's not an adult yet. She may not stay often but this is her dad's house, therefore it's her home.

You don't live there. Just stop leaving your stuff at her home 🤷

Sooooo.... obviously she's a bit "out of order" .

BUT - Have you spoken to her about it and politely asked her to stop?

If not the do so and then take it from there....

This is not to the OP as this girl isn’t her daughter. But I am surprised how many people don’t like their kids using their stuff, growing up my mum would let me have anything I wanted of hers. I lived at home til I was 26 and she could certainly of used my stuff, same with my sister. But in fairness I never ruined anything and was respectful that it was stuff that couldn’t just be replaced as we weren’t that well off. I had an amazing relationship with my mum and loved her dearly, I lost her last November and I miss her so much. She would have done anything for me.

@BrianWankum why dont you keep your stuff in a bag in your boyfriend's room???