To be irritated by my boyfriend's daughter using my stuff?

I think for me the issue would be that she had been rooting through my belongings to know what I had...what if there was something highly personal there.

Also, her Father should make sure she has her own things if she is staying but then again at 17 surely she would think to bring them with her?

You need to check that you boyfriend isn't offering them to her, as the blame may not lay with her. If he is offering them, then its him you should be mad with not her. If she is helping herself, its disrespectful to do so without asking or leaving a note to apologise but doubly so if she is not returning stuff to where she found it.

Get yourself a small overnight case with a lock and keep your stuff in there for safekeeping.

However this needs to be dealt with by Dad, not you.

Helping yourself to someone else's things isn't the same as sharing or borrowing. I'd be incredibly annoyed too.

Get a suitcase with a padlock and keep your stuff in there. Or even just a suitcase you put in a place that isn't obvious like under the bed.
17 yos can be very self absorbed. If she sees your stuff lying around and it's easy to just use she may use it.
The hairdryer isn't so bad but she could have at least put it back.
But using your styling stuff and deodorant is cheeky as it may mean you need to buy more. Also pretty grim to use someone's hairbrush and deodorant.
I wouldn't have a big showdown about it unless really necessary.
Just don't leave your items out from now on. Put them all in a shut bag somewhere that isn't obvious.
If she then keeps doing it she's going to great lengths to find your stuff so then you might actually need to have a talk with her about how rude that is

I would also find this very annoying, most of all not being able to find my things when I need them.
that said- it sounds like she is borrowing your stuff as she doesent have these items at her dads. I would mention it to your partner and ask him to buy her these items to keep at his, so then there’s no need for her to keep borrowing yours.

I have two step-daughters. I also, when they were teens, had the nicest hairdryer between us. After 3 weekends of 'please can I borrow your hairdryer', it moved into the upstairs hallway outside the bathroom and still lives there even though both have their own homes now.
I'd be using this as an opportunity to bond over girly things. Is she using your things because she looks up to you and wants to be like you? I'd have a girly shopping trip to get consumables, and see if she would like her own version of your hairdryer etc etc for in her room, if you really don't want to share it.

Are you sure it's her? When I moved back home for a bit after uni my dad would helpfully tidy up and my stuff and my mum's was just allocated to one of us at random

But that's not what sharing is?? Thats using someones things without permission. She doesn't sound anyway tight ffs

Not really sure this is OPs responsibility tbh.

She's 17, she should know to respect others possessions and privacy.

Can you take her shopping for some bits and a nice bag to keep it all in ? Would be a nice thing to do no?
her dad should pay as he’s been a bit slack in making sure she has what she needs

She's not noseying about, she's a child, and she comes to stay with Dad. It's her 'other home'. It's OP who doesn't live there,but leaves stuff there, despite rarely being there.

‘Daddy’ she’s 17 fgs

Don't keep your belongings in her daddy's home.

Such a lovely, thoughtful reply.

I would call it laziness. My DD takes my things and leaves them in her room. Drives me mad but I don't see it as theft.

Easy. Take all your stuff home with you.

Keep it all in box/drawer in your bf’s room. Teenagers can be lazy and inconsiderate - it’s in the bathroom in front her she’ll use it clearly.

sharing is not the same as taking away

Brilliant 🤣

Not even sure what you mean really but whatever, you’ve lightened up my evening

Agreed. What an overreaction. The irony is delicious.

Hair dryer fine if she puts it back. Deodorant and hairbrush no. If I were you I would hide my toothbrush well 🤢

Ok 😂 what an over reaction. Thanks for that, enjoy your night!

For the "we share everything and don't have a problem with it" people- does it not irk you, even slightly, when you go to use something and it's all gone, because someone else has 'shared' your stuff without asking you and without offering theirs up for sharesies?

As a general rule I have no problem with sharing with my children, or DP, or even my son's girlfriend, if they ask first. I do mind people helping themselves to my stuff, using it all up and not replacing it, which means I go to use (for example) my rarely-needed dry shampoo only to find myself uselessly shaking an empty container.

This doesn't include things like shampoo/soap/toothpaste- anything essentially in the communal areas of the house, but if it's in my bedroom it's mine and people need to ask first. That's how I've brought my children up- anything in their room is theirs and not up for general grabs.

So if I won't go in their room on principle and help myself to their belongings, they shouldn't do the same to mine.

On the OP's own situation though, I wouldn't be leaving my stuff at her boyfriend's house anyway, not if you're only visiting less than once a month. Take it with you and then take it away when you leave.

Get her dad to buy her the stuff she needs, then she won't need to take yours.