To refuse to speak to this person until I receive an apology

You need to let it go. It was 4 years ago and you'll achieve nothing trying to get an apology from someone in their 90s who doesn't even know what happened.

Why didn't you report this to the police at the time?

OP you say you were “perfectly fine aside from a few scrapes and bruises”.

You also say they deliberately drove at you slowly, although you didn’t see or hear them until you were hit. Did you have headphones in? I regularly walk in fields and would hear an electric car crunching over the ground.

If you believe they deliberately attacked you, then fine, I would never see or speak to them again. I would also have reported to police at the time. Otherwise I would have rolled it out as a regular joke. “Remember that time you tried to kill me Uncle Barry!”

Why is their child accountable when they weren't driving? I'm confused.

Indulge me, who drives electric cars round fields?

all I can imagine is an 86 year old burning a Tesla round a hay field. What am I missing?

Light on info and heavy on the grudge. Someone is bored this NYD.

This is on you, you haven't even told the person why you aren't talking to them which is ridiculous and at 86 and causing your minor injuries should have been made aware. The next little bump could have been much worse.

If you had told them the issue and the were defensive but expecting people to read your mind and throwing a stop isn't on.

You can't bring this one minor incident up with anyone, literally everyone else has forgotten about it. The time for action was 4 years ago. If you mention this yo anyone they are going to think you are absolutely off your rocker. If you need to talk it through with someone pay for few counselling sessions.

I think when a wrong is not acknowledged it can cause it to be frozen in the body like trauma so to me it makes sense that you want it acknowledged and that you are struggling to get over it. If it had been acknowledged at the time and an apology given you wouldn't be even thinking about it today. However, it's clear you are not going to get it acknowledged by the relevant people so I wonder if you might think about a few sessions of counselling to help you move on.

If the 90 year old was driving, why is their child (I assume an adult) responsible?

It’s not that serious though. It’s seriously weird to need to talk this incident out for closure. Most people wouldn’t even remember it after 4 years. You seem to think it’s a significant event. It’s really nothing

Who told you to "quiet down"?

Even if it wasn't on purpose why wouldn't the person have wanted to know?

Perhaps to decide for themselves to no longer drive?

Bizarre!

You sound like an absolute drama queen..
She's 90 , it's 4 years ago ...no long term damage.. are you always like this about things ?

What injury claim? There is nothing wrong with her!

This. Exactly, this was 4 years ago, she was 90, let it go

Time to channel your inner Elsa love.

Maybe the family do not want to take liability for an injury claim.

You want “closure” for an accident that left an injury you can brush off? God, at 40 I stopped tolerating ridiculous drama so by 90 I’m pretty sure I would have no more fucks to give. You’ve held this for 4 years? The only person damaging you is you.

Honestly, life’s too short to hold on to this kind of grudge, someone who by the sounds of things shouldn’t have been driving, might not know they clipped you with their car. Be grateful that before they lost their licence something much worse didn’t happen. No-one died. Other people in similar scenarios haven’t been so fortunate. I think it was pretty irresponsible of you and the other family members not to make the driver aware at the time though. If I was concerned about someone’s fitness to drive and no action was being taken I would have contacted the police and/or DVLA.

Let it go and move on.

THIS
LET IT GO!

Agreed , cognitive decline can be serious in some older people.
I had an elderly {didn't ask their age} man and his wife offer me a lift after an older neighbour's funeral, and the old boy pulled out of the church and turned right , straight onto a dual carriageway, into oncoming traffic.

He didn't;t realise, nor did his wife til I said ''What are you doing?? this is a dual carriageway!''

Other motorists were beeping at us, the old man did a U turn, and thankfully no-one was injured {or worse}

YANBU

You can hold a grudge until they die, your prerogative. They wronged you and didn't apologise. Simple.

I never hold much sway with "they're nearly dead so let them get away with bigotry/racism/bad behaviour"

If you are an arsehole, i don't have to out up with you just because you've got old, you're still an ah.

How is it the fault of the drivers adult child? Were they egging them on? Left a bit, you nearly got her then dad!

Can you explain the wider context?

It sounds like everyone else thinks they didn't really do it on purpose, plus didn't even realise it had happened.

None of this makes what happened ok, if anything it’s worse 🙈 Op was hit by a car ffs. Sometimes the batshittery of the people on this website is utterly astounding.

The "child" of a ninetysomething being a.... seventysomething????

How old are you, op? Are these elderly aunts and uncles?

What exactly are you achieving by not speaking to this person, other than an "awkward" time for yourself (and presumably others)?

Whatever the original rights and wrongs, four years of holding a grudge against an elderly person it sounds as though you don't have to see much anyway feels excessive and unhealthy.

And is it them you're actually angry with anyway? It sounds more as though you feel your other family should have done more- so what are you doing to resolve those feelings with them? Are you hoping that awkward family time will prompt them to act now, four years later...?

In any case, you obviously have to find a way to move on. So either work out what would make you feel better and ask for it, or move on before it ruins more relationships and family events for you.