To refuse to speak to this person until I receive an apology

you can always go to another thread and laugh at other people’s tragedies if that gives you pleasure.

OP should have spoken to the driver at the time, it is a simple as that.

Was it the OP’s to deal with? it doesn’t exactly sound to me like she was the decision maker in the family.

YES! An early entrant for the "Most Ridiculous Performative Empathy on Mumsnet Award".

You can always keep OP in your sleeve, you know.

it was unresolved because OP was supposed to suck it up and not make a fuss. It was easier that way. Easier to look the other way because the elderly person should not have been driving. OP just was supposed to put up with it because no one wanted to deal with it.

Sometimes there needs to be a family fall out. I think OP is owed an apology by the family members trying to minimise what happened to her.

YABU for not dealing with the situation properly 4 years ago. An elderly person who is capable of driving into someone should be stopped from driving again immediately. They have the potential to kill ffs! All the nonsense about apologies and silent treatment is completely by the by.

No, more than likely it has been brushed off as it was an accident, the OP didn't address it at the time, the elderly person most likely didn't know they had hit someone and they have tried to avoid a big family fall out.

"gently ensure that their driving ability is re-assessed"? It says in the OP that this person had their licence removed from them a month after this incident.

If they are unaware they hit you, and you won't tell them, how are they supposed to apologise? Don't be a dick. Either tell them and see if they apologise, or don't and get over it.

They acted when the elderly person hit a wall and they didn’t then drive anymore. I bet there was an insurance claim then.

THe point is they didn’t want any further investigation because this person should not have been driving. The OP making a fuss would have caused problems.

Dismissing someone who was bruised up when being hit by someone in a vehicle is not cool. Making fun of them for being upset about it because no one for apologise for it the OP’s family is also not cool.

People justify all kinds of stuff saying…ooh it was a long time ago…here victim, you should just forget all about it and suck it up, buttercup.

What does ignoring a 90 year old achieve, exactly?

I can't quite figure out why, if the driver was going so slowly, the OP didn't catch up to them, especially as later on she says the driver was apparently aware they'd hit "someone or something" and make them stop? Did the OP fall over? If the field was something to do with an event how come there were no witnesses? Why shouldn't the driver have been driving on this bit if the field? Were there other vehicles?

I honestly just can't imagine a scenario like this evolving among family members on a day out and the whole thing being so vague, never mind unresolved after 4 years.....

maybe the family should feel like crap. They didn’t exactly act well. But it is easier for OP to suck it up and pretend it didn’t happen. Someone should apologise for sure.

The elderly person should not have been driving, and no one in the family stepped in, in time…the OP was hit as a result. They later acted when the elderly person hit a wall because then there had to be an insurance claim. When money and property were involved, then it was important. When OP was hit, well she should suck it up.

Why would there be an insurance claim? These people are relatives and it was an accident.

Basically, OP didn't have the gumption for whatever reason to take it up with the driver at the time and has silently simmered away with rage for 4 years as a result.

They’re at least 94 now, are they still alive? I can’t imagine they have many more years left to apologise.

I think there ought to be a Mumsnet Hall of Fame for most cruel treatment of a poster. Maybe this thread can be up there.

Making fun of someone getting hurt sucks.

Not sure who your anger is directed at. The old person who clipped you, but was unawares, or the family of the old person because they didn't stop them driving? The latter makes some sense, but doesn't sound like either. Sounds for some reason that you want to shame the 90 year old by making a grovelling apology to you for your own satisfaction. At 90 they may not be fully compos mentis and are going to be hard pressed to remember this event particularly if they didn't even know it happened. But sure go ahead if you want to make the whole family feel like crap because years ago an OAP slowly bumped you on a field. 🙄

The OP is upset. I wouldn’t want to be hit by a vehicle and have family tell me to forget about it. have you been hit by a vehicle before?

Because her family didn’t want the driver to get their license taken away? They didn’t want an insurance claim? it was easier to ignore the fact OP was hurt?

Yup.

@BeAzureAnt Why didn't OP take it up with the driver then and there rather than passively aggressively ignoring said person for 4 years and writing about it on NYD. It's odd.

A simple:

'Fucking hell Barbara you've just nearly ran me over!'
'Oh did I?! I'm so sorry I didn't see you!'
'I'm hurt but it was an accident, lets just forget about it....'

Problem solved.

I was informed the person “is elderly and therefore we should cut them some slack, they probably didn’t even see you, or feel the bump of the car”.

Sounds like minimizing.

@BeAzureAnt

Good for you that you find someone getting hurt hilarious.

Oh get over yourself, the OP didn't get hurt. This was a small, accidental prang which did no lasting damage, inflicted by a very elderly person four years ago. People forgive major crimes in less time.

I think there should be a Mumsnet Hall of Fame Award for the "Holding the Longest and Most Ridiculous Grudge Despite being an Actual Grownup".

There could be a subsection for "Holding a Random Relative Accountable Whilst Not Telling Them Of Course".

Baffled.