To refuse to speak to this person until I receive an apology

Personally I don’t think an apology from adult daughter would be out of line. I tend to find a sincere apology from another resolves a lot. I also don’t think there is an expiration date for apologies.

I’m sorry you went through what you did and wish you the best.

Everyone has been unreasonable.

Even if they apologise, you'll still be angry. Let it go.

Maybe it's just me but I seriously don't understand any of this.

The person is not still driving because their licence was taken away a month after the incident involving the OP. It's in the first post!

Thank you. Getting hit by a vehicle when a pedestrian is not necessarily minor, even if the injuries may be.

She did not say that they were the only people in the field. She said that no one else witnessed her get hit. It was a local event and OP’s children and the driver’s child were there, according to the first post. It sounds more like there were people around but not immediately next to her when it happened.

That said, it sounds like this has had a strangely significant psychological impact considering how minor the incident was. I’m not sure if you’re still reading, OP, but if you started crying I’m wondering if it scared you badly? Are you afraid of cars and traffic, and this perhaps made it worse? The rumination and needing to talk and get closure makes it sound like your brain has had a trauma response to this event for some reason. Rather than talking to the person’s son/daughter, I think you would be better off seeing a psychologist that can help you unpick why this seemingly minor event has caused such a severe reaction for you.

The elderly driver was legally required to report the accident to the police. Otherwise it is failure to report an accident and 6 points off your license. Being on private land doesn’t change that.

Because the driver was elderly, OP went to adult child of driver and said this happened, and I suspected thought adult child should do something about it because it would probably of meant the elderly person losing their license. That was actaully a sensitive thing to do. She was told to forget about it. Then she finds out elderly person hit a wall and lost their license. No one has acknowledged OP or apologised.

If she's still driving and you feel she's a menace I would probably report her tbh. I'd never ever usually advise this sort of thing as I'm not one for reporting people. I kind of understand why you'd want the older children to say something if she's driving about at 90 doing that still. You probably feel they have more sway with her than anyone else.

Have you tried talking therapy, to possibly go over the grudge you hold 4 years later, it can't be healthy

But ultimately the OP should just have spoken to the driver there was no need to involve the rest of the family or pay attention to their opinions.

@ToffeePennie because you're so upset by this ( and maybe rightly so, none of us were there) I feel you must just speak to her.

Go round her house, ask how she is,how is life, how was Christmas. And then gently ask ' do you recall that time your car ran into me etc etc. I was really taken back trying to figure out what happened....'

Her response will then decide where you go next. If she's 90 this might be a strange conversation. If she is cold and dismissive then you can't do any more but say how you feel about it.

Then just move forward as this is ridiculous 4 years on.

Their child actually should have reported elderly relative to the DVLA. That was the right thing to do…get the license taken away.

No, not being obtuse at all. she went back to the adult child and said what happened and was told to forget about it. That is what happened.

I keep asking, have any of you been hit by a car or vehicle as a pedestrian? No one has said yes. That’s why it is easy to minimise.

Another very strange post. Four years ago and something about "holding their child to account" (Eh? I hope no one tries to hold my dch to account for my actions) and the OP has disappeared. MN is a strange place recently.

Not missing anything. OP came back to adult family member (child of elderly person) said I’m hurt. Response: oh, well give elderly person a pass OP.

So, what if OP reported elderly relative to the DVLA to make sure that they lost their license? Maybe she wanted the adult child to handle the situation.

The fact is she was hurt, no only wanted to acknowledge it, and she’s upset.

You are being deliberately obtuse. OP had an opportunity to deal with this at the time it happened, in the field, when she was scraped by the car. To speak to the very slow driver who apparently was aware that they hit someone or something. She could have said “Oy! You just drove into me Brian, you dozy bastard!” Brian would have had the chance to apologise and then OP wouldn’t have had four years of sleepless nights stewing over it.

To be fair, there’s so much missing info, anything could be thrown in as a drip feed. Brian’s previous threats to end OPs life. OP being deaf. A million permutations.

I don’t think she’s coming back though as she probably realises she is being foolish.

Which part are you missing here? Her opportunity was to do it in the field after it happened. She didn't.

Yes lots of people at fault but not talking to someone is ridiculous. Go and bloody tell them! It’s not a playground

I suspect because the family pressured her to do so. I can see why the OP is aggrieved.

Yes. This sounds like failure to report to the DVLA a condition that affects your driving. The fine is £1000. If the elderly driver was not capable of reporting themselves, the adult child should have stepped in. I would have been mortified if my parent hit a relative, even if scrapes or bruises, and been talking to parent about their fitness to drive.

4 years ago! Wow shocked you still thinking about it. Yabu ....

She gave the elderly person a pass herself at the time.

No they told OP later to give the elderly driver a pass.