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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to speak to this person until I receive an apology

233 replies

ToffeePennie · 01/01/2025 18:03

This person has hurt me by slowly driving directly towards me whilst I was walking in a field, then hitting me. I clipped my right hip/knee and ankle on the car, but I did not report it as there were no witnesses and I was the only person injured (and my injuries were “brushed off” by the rest of my family as I was perfectly fine, apart from a few scrapes and bruises).
This took place at an event we attend locally about 4 years ago. I did not want to spoil the event for my children, but resolved that until the family member who hit me apologised, I would not speak to them, I would ignore them.
This person is elderly (90s) and their child is very aware and was told at the time. I was informed the person “is elderly and therefore we should cut them some slack, they probably didn’t even see you, or feel the bump of the car”. I firmly believe this takes the mick and they should have been told what they had done, if, they really didn’t know.
Said family member absolutely should not have been driving and a month after hitting me, they had another “little accident” where they drove into someone’s wall very very slowly and had their licence removed from them. So there’s not much more I can do about it. Note: this is not the sort of family member where I have any rights to intervene, nor does my DH.
However, being forced to be around this person over the festive period has made things more awkward again, and it’s now where I am pointedly ignoring them.
AIBU or Not?

OP posts:
ChippedIkeaFurniture · 01/01/2025 18:09

So to summarise, you want the 90+ yr old who slowly bumped into you with their car 4 years ago to apologise? And until then you are ignoring them? For 4 years? Do they even know what happened?

Soonenough · 01/01/2025 18:08

Let it go. At 90 years old you won't have to talk to them very often anyway. Demanding apologies is the one way to ensure that feuds are kept going. You know damn well that they didn't really mean to hurt you or knock you down. Unnecessary drama.

SausageRoll2020 · 01/01/2025 18:08

So there's a possibility that they don't know that they hit you and have literally no idea why you aren't speaking to them? If so YABU.

You could have gone through the proper channels or spoken to them at the time. It's 4 years later and they are in their 90's, even if they knew what had happened at the time they might not remember now and just think you are being rude for no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️

CapybarasAreJustGuineaBigs · 01/01/2025 18:08

Why were they driving around in a field?

AquaPeer · 01/01/2025 18:06

Of course YANBU. Why won’t they apologise?

Tbh I don’t think it’s a massively big deal but they should obviously say sorry, ignoring them seems reasonable punishment for that

September1013 · 01/01/2025 18:05

It sounds like it was an accident and it was four years ago! And they are no longer driving.

Honestly I’d just let it go, why keep on carrying bad feelings about it?

SabbatWheel · 01/01/2025 18:05

If they were driving slowly did you not have time to get out of the way? Sounds all a bit of a drama tbh.

Drachuughtty · 01/01/2025 18:05

I'm confused tbh.

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