Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends awful baby name

737 replies

ThisIcyHare · 01/01/2025 16:26

My best friend is due to have a baby soon, they are having a girl and she has been talking baby names with me, which feels super special. She has got a few very lovely traditional girly names, and a couple of more unusual choices, but not ‘offensive’. They are names I would expect from her. However, she has one absolutely terrible name, that actually just feels very cruel. It would be bad even by American standards and ‘tragedeigh’ names. It’s not that I wouldn’t choose it, it’s just crazy stupid and the child will be ridiculed by peers and adults. Some of her choices are genuinely wonderful, but I’m so worried she will madly choose this one awful name, I can’t say anything can I?!

OP posts:
Buffs · 02/01/2025 18:04

No you can’t. You could say you prefer other names on her shortlist.

WadiShab · 02/01/2025 18:03

There's a few things here, she is obviously sharing this with you as she values your opinion and involvement.

If you really want to give your take on the name but don't want to ruffle feathers then I'd give her the order in which I think are good choices then I'd give her why I think number 1 is the best and why the last one, that being the name you think is dreadful last staying your concerned the child could be teased because of the name and leave it there and then its up to her but the thought of her child possibly being teased over it may concentrate the mind.

That being said, whilst revealing th name would be outing, we really need to know what it is

Flymeinbusiness · 02/01/2025 18:01

Is it Clemency?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/01/2025 18:01

Now I've seen INTEGRITY written down a few times I'm starting to quite like it as a name Grin

But only on a person non-white

One of my close acquaintances is called Chastity, literally forgotten what it means as it's now her in my mind. Yes, she's black and a totally normal name.

Realitysucks · 02/01/2025 17:59

Ok so it has to be something like Honesty, Probity, Rectitude, Character,

or

  • Decency, Goodness, Morality, Righteousness
any of these are ridiculous for a name! @ThisIcyHare please tell me if my guess is there lol !
Poodleville · 02/01/2025 17:55

Oh wow I hope it's not Rectitude, which was suggested above!
Purity? Horrendous
Virtue? Could be ok.

I think I would make a joke about it, but maybe I'm awful!

EmeraldA129 · 02/01/2025 17:53

Evangeline?

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 17:51

StrawberryWater · 01/01/2025 16:39

I know plenty of people that have saddled their kid with awful names.

For example: Bu - pronounced 'Boo' apparently. However, to me it's Bu as in But. Where is she getting 'Boo' from? And even then Boo is NOT a good name. It's a nickname at best!

You can't say anything though. You just have to zip your lip and maybe encourage all the other names.

Edited

Boo makes me think of Boo Radley.

Bu is definitely a derivative of But. How unfortunate.

NewGreenDuck · 02/01/2025 17:50

But Athena is a perfectly normal name. Tina Onassis was actually Athina. ( just a different spelling)
And Calamity Jane, was actually Emily Jane. It started as a joke.

ObieJoyful · 02/01/2025 17:49

I’d just say, “I must admit, that’s not my favourite.”

financialcareerstuff · 02/01/2025 17:48

Of course you should tell her. She hasn’t decided yet- it’s the perfect time to tell her. She’s meant to be a friend, and we’re meant to offer honest feedback and wise counsel when asked.

ask her if she wants to know your opinion of the names. Then be diplomatic and honest. I love X and Y….. I really like A and B because….. The only one I’m really not keen on is Z. I’d be worried it would be give people something to bully/pick on her for, and I know you wouldn’t want that.

pretty simple really…..?

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 17:47

FizzyBisto · 01/01/2025 23:15

That reminds me of the outstanding Last Tango In Halifax. They had a baby called Calamity Jane, although I think that was just a family thing and she was just Jane on the birth certificate.

Show quote history

Jane is such an unfair name anyway. Plain Jane…

Thefsm · 02/01/2025 17:46

If it’s serenity it is popular from Firefly. I know several little Serenity’s.

I rather like unusual names that are actual words. a friend here in USA has a little girl called Clarity which I think is sweet. Another has a daughter called Athena which I didn’t think was a good idea when she was little but she grew into it.

DeeDoyle · 02/01/2025 17:46

If its really out there and a wild card as such maybe shes testing you to see if you will tell her if a name is awful?

allmymonkeys · 02/01/2025 17:44

You can't say anything. And if she picks Godawful or whatever the name is just gulp and smile.

The OP can't say what the name is because her friend will see it and never ever speak to her again.

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 17:43

wholettheturnipsburn · 01/01/2025 16:43

Chlamydia?

Oh gosh. I met a Candida once. I couldn’t believe it.

PickledKT · 02/01/2025 17:42

you are a "bad name tease" you are being cruel 🥴🤦‍♀️😂

changecandles · 02/01/2025 17:40

I'm going with it being Chastity.

Sounds so pretty but would be a terrible name today.

Similar names like Serenity, Virtue, Destiny, Felicity or Amity don't have the connection to sexual behaviour. It would be a tough name to navigate through childhood teens and 20s.

If it is a name like this can you not just explain this and suggest name like above that are similar but don't have the sexual behaviour connection?

LoveMyBusPass · 02/01/2025 17:39

Is your friend testing your honesty?

FizzyBisto · 02/01/2025 15:12

Didn't Cher have a DD called Chastity - who now identifies as a man and goes by Chaz?

Notellinganyone · 02/01/2025 14:57

Marcipex · 02/01/2025 14:36

I have an old book about a very prim girl called Princess Candida.

I like many virtue names but not keen on Honor. I wonder if people pronounce the H.
Chastity is dire and also has titty in it.

The H is silent - as in the word.

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/01/2025 14:41

Marcipex · 02/01/2025 14:36

I have an old book about a very prim girl called Princess Candida.

I like many virtue names but not keen on Honor. I wonder if people pronounce the H.
Chastity is dire and also has titty in it.

I have the same book! Also, I had a classmate in primary school called Candida, usually Candy for short. I think it developed its negative associations fairly recently.

Marcipex · 02/01/2025 14:36

I have an old book about a very prim girl called Princess Candida.

I like many virtue names but not keen on Honor. I wonder if people pronounce the H.
Chastity is dire and also has titty in it.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/01/2025 12:47

Unless your friend is a Dingle from Emmerdale she should maybe steer clear of **ity names