To draw a line under trying for a baby.

I’ve had IVF and I think it gets a bad rap. For me it was pretty straight forward. Don’t get me wrong, a few uncomfortable procedures, but no side effects, no time off work except day of egg collection. I booked the day off work. I have never told a soul I had IVF, it really wasn’t the traumatic, harrowing thing everyone makes it out to be. It worked first time and didn’t cost us anything as we had 1 free go on the NHS. Three years later I did it again paying £6-7k and it worked first time.

I had health issues and so did my DH so your case sounds more straightforward than ours.

I was 36 and 39, both children are healthy.

Ultimately it’s your decision but ivf can get a bad press, it just wasn’t like that for me.

IVF mum here. Similar experience to this. But it’s a toss up really if it will be hard for you or not.

DH and I TTC 12yrs and eventually stopped when I was 43. We too had no medical issues found. I got pregnant naturally, twice but both MC'd and initially also didn't want or plan to have IVF. We just assumed it would happen. By the time we did try IVF, we had to wait months for referral and I then only qualified for 1 round due to being over 40. I then had several rounds of IVF, got pregnant 1st cycle but also MC'd.

I didn't find the IVF bad at all! I wrongly assumed the meds would make me feel hormonal, but they didn't. It was sad that things didn't work out for us, but I certainly didn't feel it was the emotional rollercoasting some woman talk about. I also didn't take days, nor weeks off work after my losses. Everyone is different though.

Is there any particular reason/s you don't want IVF?

I did IVF and didn't find it as hard as people say. I think the emotional impact (especially if you are heavily invested in the outcome) is worse than the physical impact. I kept working and getting on with normal life throughout which helped.

But if you don't want to do that, that is fine.

YANBU. I’m 40 this year, TTC for 13 years. I’ve accepted it’s not going to happen and just enjoying the life DH and I are building.

I don't blame you op. Myself and dh had fertility struggles last year and after seeing my friend go through 3 rounds of ivf, I told dh that I wouldn't do it. Its an extremely difficult process with no guarantees

IVF is incredibly hard. You're allowed to choose not to.

Do you think he will stay around if you decide not to?

You can make the decision to stop trying any time you choose. You and DH need to discuss what it means for your future though - do you both want each other more than you want children?

It's your body and your choice although important to listen and understand his perspectives. I had 6 unsuccessful rounds of ivf in my late 30s and would do it all again. I didn't find it too hard on my body but I was fit and slim. It was a mental rollercoaster - the positives of feeling like we were doing something to achieve our desired outcome, and the lows of it not working.

Why do you not want to try IVF, out of interest?

Sorry just to clarify he can want it but it doesn't mean you have to do it.

I have watched one of my close friends go through IVF twice, both unsuccessful sadly and I now know this is 100% something I don't want to do. If your DH wants to try it he can want that but the toll IVF takes on a woman is massive and I think its one of those things you have to really, really want to do.

From what understand, IVF is hard going for the woman. So no YANBU to say no to that.

is there any other treatment other than IVF that you can try?

That is absolutly your right.
You may want to have time for a full discussion with him as well to ensure you're both understanding your own and each others plans. Including what this means for your marrige.