Page 3 | Kissing grandparents

Eddy334 · 2025-01-01T14:42:26+00:00

Just wondered what everyone's take on this. My 5 year old sees her Grandma and step Grandfather on her dad's side every couple of months for a weekend. They have been together and married for 30 years. We go down as a family and stay for 1 or 2 nights The grandfather always insists on kissing my daughter on the lips which I find a bit weird. Shall I say something or is it not a problem?

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2025 15:57

It's sad that more than 1 in 100 men finds children sexually attractive. I find that a lot sadder than women attempting to safeguard children from this.

Again, unrelated, male, insisting... no.

SALaw · 01/01/2025 15:57

In what way does he insist on it? Like if they kiss him on the cheek he says no you have to kiss me on the lips?!

PickledOwl1 · 01/01/2025 15:56

Wouldn't worry me at all. If I ever have grandchildren then I intend to literally smother them in kisses!

However - you use the word 'insists.' Does he insist? That's not right. Do you suspect him of being some sort of paedo? If so, there's a bigger issue at play here

polpolpolpol · 01/01/2025 15:55

@Zanatdy

It’s quite sad many look at loving relatives with such suspicion. I had uncles and aunties that always kissed us on the lips, absolutely nothing but love. I’d think nothing of a grandparent wanting a kiss.

It's not sad though, it's bloody realistic. Why would a grown man be insisting on kissing a small child on the lips?

Whoknew24 · 01/01/2025 15:54

Ladybyrd · 01/01/2025 15:27

I am struggling to compute this thread. My parents are about as conservative and non huggy as you can get, but family members kiss on the lips. Why do people sexualise everything - it's family. Each to their own but it's a nonissue for me (obviously if the child doesn't want to everyone should respect their boundaries).

Because majority of sexual abuse is by family, normally the grandfather, uncle etc. Hence why my children have never been unattended with family and certainly no one would ever be allowed to kiss them on their lips hell no.

Zanatdy · 01/01/2025 15:53

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2025 15:18

@Zanatdy I don't have an issue with lips for parents, if everyone is comfortable.

But an unrelated step-anything, adult man 'insisting' on lip-kissing? Why on earth would you think this is OK? It's madness.

It’s quite sad many look at loving relatives with such suspicion. I had uncles and aunties that always kissed us on the lips, absolutely nothing but love. I’d think nothing of a grandparent wanting a kiss.

polpolpolpol · 01/01/2025 15:53

Tia86 · 01/01/2025 15:51

My in-laws do this, both MiL and FIL. It makes me cringe. It is easing up a bit now they are older and I did make some comments to my children that you don't have to kiss someone or even hug them when FIL starts insisting 'give your grandma a hug and kiss then'

It makes you cringe but not enough to step up and prevent it?

Maddy70 · 01/01/2025 15:53

Kalasbyxor · 01/01/2025 14:45

Lip kissing anyone you're not romantically involved with is off. Tell DP to kiss his dad on the lips next time.

Don't be daft

pizzaHeart · 01/01/2025 15:52

Bigearringsbigsmile · 01/01/2025 14:45

I've never kissed my own children on the lips!

This ^ neither DH, my parents, my sister and her partner, my friends etc etc
I don’t know anyone who does this so I guess it’s not normal.

Tia86 · 01/01/2025 15:51

My in-laws do this, both MiL and FIL. It makes me cringe. It is easing up a bit now they are older and I did make some comments to my children that you don't have to kiss someone or even hug them when FIL starts insisting 'give your grandma a hug and kiss then'

Tia86 · 01/01/2025 15:51

My in-laws do this, both MiL and FIL. It makes me cringe. It is easing up a bit now they are older and I did make some comments to my children that you don't have to kiss someone or even hug them when FIL starts insisting 'give your grandma a hug and kiss then'

Whoknew24 · 01/01/2025 15:51

Absolutely not ! Also do not leave him alone with her keep an eye on this.

SleepToad · 01/01/2025 15:49

In my family on my mum's side it was normal to kiss little kids on the lips (1970/80s) you stopped doing it once the kids started school. Personally I fucking hated it once I got to about 7, kissing some snoty toddler cousin...yuk.
These days it's a definite no, just not done. I give my great nephew and niece a high five or one arm squeeze...have done since they were dappers

caringcarer · 01/01/2025 15:47

Better to give a kiss on the forehead.

polpolpolpol · 01/01/2025 15:42

Ladybyrd · 01/01/2025 15:27

I am struggling to compute this thread. My parents are about as conservative and non huggy as you can get, but family members kiss on the lips. Why do people sexualise everything - it's family. Each to their own but it's a nonissue for me (obviously if the child doesn't want to everyone should respect their boundaries).

A grown adult man, insisting on kissing a 5 year old on the lips, and you don't compute why that might be an issue?

I see that as fully your problem.

OliveLeader · 01/01/2025 15:42

I probably wouldn’t let an unrelated man kiss a child on the lips. These things can be cultural but if it’s not part of your culture and given he isn’t related to her I would be wary - plus there is the viral herpes risk (which is why I don’t let anyone kiss my kids on their hands or faces).

AyrnotAir · 01/01/2025 15:33

Oh that would give me the boak as a child and now. Male relatives always just kiss us on the cheeks.

Marshbird · 01/01/2025 15:32

I’d add, I’m a great aunt. Gorgeous little great niece. 1 year old. I’ve kissed her twice on top of head, in more recent months with mums permission when she’s put her lovely snuggly head into my shoulder ….I’ve given hugs and holds, but would always ask mum or dad.
and now she’s old enough to begin to express her own opinions, I would be led by her…if she tries to pull away from a hug or hold or looks for mum or gran, or is just not reaching for me as she passes to me, I’ll hand her over right away. Anyone with an ounce of sensitivity will do this, check with child for reaction before touching . Not hard

FuriousPoodle · 01/01/2025 15:31

Gross. Why didn’t you intervene the first time it happened?

RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 15:30

BondStreet · 01/01/2025 15:22

Nobody kisses my DC on the lips other than me and their dad. Cheek kisses are ok from grandparents but not lips.

Nobody kissed our dc on the lips - not even DH or me.

It is also not something that ever came up.

Ladybyrd · 01/01/2025 15:28

FelizNavidadAmiga · 01/01/2025 15:27

I would not allow that at all. My children usually high five or fist bump relatives with the occasional hug. It's up to them and the grandparents can like it or lump it!

Hi five grandma? Jeese...

Ladybyrd · 01/01/2025 15:27

I am struggling to compute this thread. My parents are about as conservative and non huggy as you can get, but family members kiss on the lips. Why do people sexualise everything - it's family. Each to their own but it's a nonissue for me (obviously if the child doesn't want to everyone should respect their boundaries).

FelizNavidadAmiga · 01/01/2025 15:27

I would not allow that at all. My children usually high five or fist bump relatives with the occasional hug. It's up to them and the grandparents can like it or lump it!

MaryGreenhill · 01/01/2025 15:24

It's so odd that some ppl find this ok .
I hate it but l do know ppl do this and they aren't motivated by anything other than it's their normal accepted behaviour.
Think the Beckhams had a thread on here once about this exact thing .

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2025 15:24

BondStreet · 01/01/2025 15:22

Nobody kisses my DC on the lips other than me and their dad. Cheek kisses are ok from grandparents but not lips.

This.

Even cheek kisses require consent as well.