Kissing grandparents

I've reported. Not troll hunting because I keep getting banned.

I agree @MrsTerryPratchett i have a feeling this is a weird troll post.

I suggest no more posts about adults kissing children until the OP returns.

And I'm reporting just in case.

Better to be safe that sorry. As others have said for the sake of avoiding anything contagious being passed through a lip to lip kiss as well as possible blurring of boundaries I’d definitely put a stop to it. Even if he was the bio grandfather I’d say the same.

If he genuinely loves his step granddaughter it should be no big deal - he can still give her hugs etc, there’s other ways to show affection to a child.

You get far more kids saying when they’re teens/adults “I hated that relative X kissed me on the lips” than I hated that relative X didn’t kiss me on the lips! Sometimes small
children aren’t able to articulate their feelings and sound the alarm at the time something uncomfortable is happening so it’s best to do what you can to safeguard them.

An adult could genuinely be doing it with innocent intentions, but that still doesn’t mean it’s in the best interests of a child.

What do you mean by 'insists'? As in he doesn't give her a choice?

For a huge a,Lunt of people kissing on the lips, unless a proper full on kiss, is not romantic or sexual at all.
I kiss dh in the lips a few times a day, some days. It's not sexual the majority of the time.

When dd was small we kissed her in the lips. It was a loving action and there was obviously nothing sexual about it whatsoever!

Because it’s fucking weird?

Do you let him kiss you on the lips? If not why not?

Jesus. Please advocate for your daughter and tell him to back off. Would you let this happen if she were 16? He's a creep, and that's me being charitable.

OP not coming back?

It’s setting healthy boundaries and it’s being realistic.

The NSPCC estimates one in twenty children have been sexually abused. That is horrifying.

a man forcing a young female relative to kiss him on the lips is creepy at best. The parents need to teach this child that it’s okay to say no and they need to show this step grandparent that they will enforce boundaries.

It is probably just a silly old man putting his innocent wants first - but in too many cases it isn’t.

Unfortunatelt its attitudes like yours that allows these people to get away with horrific crimes against children:

Nor me. A kiss on the cheek is fine.

Oh dear! A lot of children don’t understand they can say no. This is how abusers get away with inappropriate behavior.

in this case, the parents need to enforce boundaries. If it makes the mother uncomfortable it has to stop.

simply say - oh no we don’t kiss on the lips - give Arthur a high five.

Me too ☹️

Absolutely not....I had an uncle who always insisted on this....for years may I add....totally inappropriate

It’s up to the child and what they are comfortable with

I’m afraid that’s the kind of ‘argument’ a paedophile would use as justification, “Well, the child didn’t object/enjoyed it.” You don’t rely on what a child ‘feels comfortable’ with. You enforce behaviour within appropriate boundaries. If you’re not sure where the boundary should be, best to err on the side of caution. A quiet word - “We don’t want anyone to kiss x on the lips, FIL. Top of the head or cheeks are fine.”

Sorry, OP, it’s utterly inappropriate. My DGC will give their step-Grandad a hug, which as far as I’m concerned is quite enough. If my DGS prefers to hug me rather than give me a peck on the cheek, that’s fine - and if he doesn’t want to do either, that’s fine too. In what world is it OK for an older man to impose himself on a little girl and kiss her in the lips? I wouldn’t just be massively uncomfortable with this, I straight up wouldn’t allow it. If you don’t advocate for your five year old daughter, who else is going to? I’m sorry but the Grandad sounds creepy.

My FIL has always done this with me. He’s always been v flirty too. He’s nearly 90.

Don’t allow it . Please .

For me, lip kissing is purely for romantic partners. I've never kissed my children on the lips, the thought is really weird and I don't like seeing people do it. Foreheads, cheeks, of course - no problem. A definite No to grandparents kissing on lips, urgh. I don't come from a kissy family, though, and DH's are even less demonstrative.

I taught my DC they didn't need to hug or kiss anyone unless they wanted to - which caused issues with needy grandparents they rarely saw. But that wasn't my problem, or my children's. Body autonomy and consent is so important, even if it means a grandmother being miffed at not getting a hug or kiss.

But you can have fantastic, close and well-meaning relationships without needing to kiss someone on the lips as you leave, or without jumping into bed with a grandparent in a morning.

Plus, in the OPs case potentially making a child uncomfortable, by possibly forcing them to have physical contact they don't want, certainly isn't going to improve relationships.

And?

@polpolpolpol i cannot possibly describe to you how few fucks I give about that.

Lip kissing is weird whereas cheeks are just fine, it's the normal greeting in many cultures

I never even kissed my own babies/children on the lips. Cheeks or top of head, yes, all the time.

It’s quite sad many look at loving relatives with such suspicion. I had uncles and aunties that always kissed us on the lips, absolutely nothing but love. I’d think nothing of a grandparent wanting a kiss.

I remember when I was a kid climbing out of my window, going next door, and getting into bed with my grandma every morning, waiting for the teasmaid to go off. She was actually my stepgrandma, but I could not have loved her more. I get that it's different with a male steparent since abuse is perpetrated by men the vast majority of the time. Still, seems a shame to potentially curtail what could prove to be some important relationships.