Am I being too sensitive or would this bother you?

when I read the first few words I thought this post was going to be about a joke your in laws made that could be taken either way not an out right insult from your own DP. LTB. He’s a twat.

I'd be teempted to give him the benefit of the doubt although I wouldn't like that comment to be made about me either.
We've all said something we regret

You may be right, but he has utterly rejected her communication.
I wonder how he would have liked it if she had responded in kind:
”I wonder if they have a sow, and we’ll see if she can sniff out a pig?”
”Maybe they have a heifer to sniff out that bullshit your yakking on”
”Well both of us know the donkey would be drawing a blank around you, don’t we.”

Not always necessary to consider breaking up. Making a mistake and hurting someone is one thing, how they own that mistake and learn from it is another. You can forgive someone if they acknowledge they cocked up, apologise sincerely and promise to do their best to avoid it in future. If they try to project the issue back and victim blame/insult, then the narcissist warning siren goes off and it is a case of fuck off out of my life.

OP, this comment is a gift - he's showing you relatively early on who he is. It's a clear red flag. Leave now or leave after plenty more red flags and more upset - the choice is yours.

Is it necessary to be perfect to call anything out?

Jokes are often a play on words using the fact that the English language contains many words with multiple meanings depending on context, but this was a hideous example.

Yep. My experience of dating a red pulled douchebro was it started with a “joke”.

Which I overlooked. And then the jokes continued and his real character came out.

I don’t know what the case is here but OP should assert her boundaries and say this is not the kind of humour she appreciates and see how he responds.

Long term relationships can be healthy and beneficial.

But length does not equal health.

But to reiterate I have not encouraged anybody to break up. I have supported OP holding whatever boundaries she sees fit and said if she chooses to end the relationship over this that is perfectly fine.

There ar lots of "it was only a joke" comments on here.

I wonder how many of the women who are found posting on threads about how their partner doesn't do any housework; Christmas is left up to them; husbands have hobbies that they spend multiple evenings a week doing and neglect their parenting responsibilities whilst complaining about "men" would also be saying, "Lighten up, its only a joke"?

Because men who make misogynistic jokes generally aren't misogynistic in only one area of life.

That was very rude of him, unless there is a particular context, e.g. you like to insult each other in a jocular fashion.

Dump him.

I'm from an older generation and i was in the army. I heard misogynistic shit like this for the entirety of my time in the service.

It was tedious. It wasn't funny, and it was fucking constant. Well done you for accepting it, others of us have higher expectations of the men around us.

Exactly this. I stayed with a guy who made a “joke” in the very early stages of our relationship that I found completely tasteless. I excused him because I really fancied him and wanted it to work out (essentially for him to be someone he wasn’t). He wasn’t awful, but he wasn’t good enough for me, and while I was with him I was missing out on relationships that would have been better.

He doesn't actually like you.

@JHound long term relationships, if healthy, are beneficial for all parties, including any future kids. Supporting people to have realistic ideas and expectations for relationships is helpful. Encouraging break ups over silly misdemeanours isn't.

I don’t fetishise long relationships. I support healthy ones of any length.

It’s fine to have boundaries and reinforce those boundaries.

I did not advise anybody to break up with anybody but if OP chose to do that , that’s fine. Her life, her boundaries.

@JHound you'll never have a long term relationship that always serves all parties. Relationships have highs and lows and no one is perfect. Breaking up over an unappreciated joke is crazy advice. Unless they're looking for ways to end the relationship.

You can truly love somebody and still have boundaries that you enforce.

It’s also fine for a relationship not to last if it does not serve all parties in the relationship.

Relationships will never last if you break up over a poorly taken joke! If you truly love someone, this wouldn't end a relationship. They just need to communicate, find some middle ground and move forwards.

I think it’s a weird shitty comment unless you have an established practice of insult humour with each other.

I don't find your joke particularly funny, no, but I also don't think it's as rude or unpleasant as the "joke" her BF made to and about her. Your joke would have me roling my eyes. his "joke" made me do that thing where you instinctively rear backwards and purse your lips going "whoah".

OP, if it was realy a joke and he was suitably apologetic, I might let it go. But, like most people on this thread, I'm suspicious that it's the first in what will be a long line of similar moments, all dismissed as jokes or as you being too sensitive.

DH hurt me once. It was 100% a joke and the injury was very small. I was absolutely livid and he was abject in his apologies and acceptance that what was supposed to be a little joke was a) not funny b) hideously inappropraite and c) hurt me. I got over it becuas ehis response made it so 100% clear that he really had not meant to hurt me and also that he was absolutely mortified that he had and that I was upset and he'd do anything to make sure it would never happen again.

Dog sniffing, reference to bitches. Jokey put downs are funny to me, as long as they're not too frequent and are made by people who otherwise treat me well.

It would make me chuckle, I'd probably pretend to be insulted and then try to throw him a joke later. It's just not a big deal.

I was raised in a laid back environment though where people were silly (but underneath it kind) with each other.

It doesn’t matter a whit whether “it was a joke”. You don’t need his permission to end the relationship for being a vulgar mouthed buffoon.
So what if he says you’re “too sensitive”- the implication of that is that you’re not coming up to scratch for him either. Which is a much more serious issue than a badly chosen not funny put down masquerading as a joke.

Can you explain what is witty about it?