To worry people won't want to be friends with me because of my age

Im 44 and one of my best friends is 58. Another really good friend has just turned 30! I think it’s all about personality and common ground. Age doesn’t come into it for me.

Lots of my mum friends have been 50 to my 40. Simultaneously, I'm practically old enough to be some of my work friends' mum. So what? Age matters very little in friendship, and 40 to 50 certainly doesn't matter! Hasn't this ever come up for you before? I've had friends of a wide range of ages since I graduated uni.

In my mid 20s I became friends with hung out LOADS with my friend who at the time was early 40s. We are still friends!

now in mid 30s and very good friends with a woman who is same age(ish) as my mum.

interests and attitude to life is more important to me than age when it comes to friends!

lots of people I work with are similar age to me but I wouldn’t want to be friends with them 🤭

You are cutting yourself off for iilogical reasons. I am wondering why you would do that.

Once you're over the age of about 21, it's very easy to be friends with people ten years plus older. Especially If you've got plenty of things in common in terms of life outlook and personality. I have friends ranging from late 20s to 92!
My mum's bestie is 20 years younger. They've been friends for 45 years. One of my closest friends is 20 years older.

Just forget about the age difference. Your friends don't like you because of how many birthdays you have or haven't experienced.

My close friendship group, as a 62 year old, is from 35 to 79! You bond with those you share something in common with / interests with, not years.

In the kindest way I think you are absolutely bonkers to be worrying about this! I think stage of life is a more important factor than age. I had kids before most of my friends at the time and the group I socialise with now I met through NCT/school etc. We are all different ages from 36-53 I think and I love that.
The older ones have recently been an wealth of info around menopause issues and wonderful support through other issues due to life experience and I love hanging out with them.

Honestly people can't tell really. I found out only after knowing them a few years that some mum friends were 8+ years older than me, never occured to me to think about it. Having kids in late 30s and through to mid 40s is really not unusual now.

Don't worry about it, age is irrelevant. I've made very good friendships with people 10, 20 years older than me through work and they are genuine friends.

I am 50. I have a large friend group in my village where I live and we meet for coffee and lunch regularly. These women range from the age of 35 to 77!! The women who I would say were my closest friends are 65 and the 77 year old. I often call over to the 77 year olds house and we have coffee and chat. Honestly, age is nothing but a number and friendships can develop in the unlikeliest of places and with the unlikeliest of people. Try not to overthink it and just enjoy their company.

I have good friends who are up to around 10 years older, and close colleagues who are 15 years younger, and I socialise with people at an activity who are up to 25 years older.

Generally I think if there's a gap of more than about 10 years, you're less likely to become close friends due to different life stage/life experiences (but I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions), but you can still have valuable relationships.

But in OP's case it's not even much of an age gap, nothing to worry about at all.

I am nearly 50 - my friend is about to turn 40 and we are having a spa day together - don't think my age has even entered her head.

Stage rather than age is usually far more important. You are all in the same stage of life and have loads in common as a result. I’d think you have more in common with someone with children the same age as yours than a childless person your own age.

I find it very odd that you're worrying about this. I'm 50. One of my best friends is 37. I'm also very close to a woman of 95. I like them for who they are. They like me for who I am. Simple as that.

age wouldn’t matter to me at all OP

My youngest friend is 24. The oldest is 83. Most of my friends are within 10-12years of my own age…58. Never a problem.

Having kids the same age is more important than what age the parents are, it means you are living similar lives. At my kid’s school there’s a huge age range of parents and it makes no difference, I’m 41 and have friends from the school who are mid 50s

I’ve joined a sport and we now socialise they are all late twenties I’m your age and it’s fine! They didn’t realise quite how old I was though it doesn’t matter. My mother has friends only abit older than me that she met through work and sees regularly.

I think you’re overthinking- if you have fun with them now, I definitely think you should suggest more opportunities to hang out!

If it makes you feel any better, I’m 35 and my partner is (a mature!) 25. I get along very well with all his friends, who are ten years younger than me, and they love me!

And going the other way, my best friend is 45, ten years older than me. And I adore her and couldn’t do life without her!

@LolaLemony sorry you are feeling so distressed about this. I would not find it an issue, but I just wonder if maybe you are coming towards menopause. It can cause a lot of uncertainty, as well as emotional vulnerability due to hormonal changes. Perhaps it's contributing to your unnecessary concerns.

My friends are 5-6 years younger to 20 years older than me.

Oh dear, you are being a tad silly. I'm 39, my youngest friend is 19 (albeit through a shared hobby so irrelevant what our life stages are) but the majority of my day to day life friends are around 26 years old. I don't care at all, I AM older than them. That's fine, nothing shameful about it. My eldest friend is 56. I met her at a neighbours bbq. I don't give a shit about her being older than me. It doesn't even really cross my mind.

I have recently met a new friend who is only a little younger 33, I think, and she is the first person to somewhat have made the age difference to be a 'thing' in our dynamic. Lots of jokes about old bones and needing naps and only hanging out with me to be in my will. Initially it irritated me, now I realise it is probably a clumsy attempt and flirting/banter. Ie, it's well meaning.

My best friend of several decades is 10 years younger than me. We met as PhD students. I have friends in their late 20s, just a few years older than my DC, and friends in their 70s, who I met through shared interests.

OP I was a teenager when I had DS and felt the exact same way with all the other school mums, worried they wouldn't be friends with me but in the end I made some great friend who were 10/15 years older and the one closest of them all was 20 years older than me I truly believe age doesn't matter as long as you have other similarities