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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be sad this is how I found out DS is engaged

329 replies

Gladlygracious · 01/01/2025 11:02

DS is 26, we have a good relationship, his girlfriend is lovely and they have been together for 2.5 years, they make a great couple.
We spent Christmas with them, but they have been saving up and have taken a month of unpaid leave to go to Australia for New Years, a friends wedding and the Australian Open for a month.
This morning DD called me and very excitedly said omg I can't believe DS is engaged. I said what I didn't know. She told me to check his girlfriend's instagram.

He proposed on New Years Eve before the new year came in so at least 22 hours ago. His girlfriend posted on instagram 8 hours ago, 2 separate posts first a post with some pics of them, the ring and a little video of him proposing, then a second post of little videos and pics from the year with the proposal at the end. DS messaged me at midnight UK time so 11 hours ago.
They are at the united cup tennis today so I appreciate they are busy, but he has messaged and she has made 2 instagram posts, DS has shared one of the posts on his story too.

AIBU to be sad this is how I found out and that he didn't tell me or DH directly? Or is this just the modern world?

OP posts:
ForAzureSeal · 01/01/2025 11:08

Oh I'm sorry to hear that's the way you found out. I wonder if it is the way of things now? If relationship is generally good with your son then I would put it down to different communication expectations between the generations.

cansu · 01/01/2025 11:08

Why not just be happy for him rather than fixated on how you were told and in what manner?

BlueWhippetsForever · 01/01/2025 11:06

I'd be upset by that OP, I'm not surprised you're hurt 😥 Not sure what you can do though, as if you tell him then you're making his big news about you in his eyes. I'd feel the same as you though, especially as he texted you after he'd proposed but didn't tell you (have I read that right?), that's very odd!

Lookingforwardto2025 · 01/01/2025 11:06

I would be sad too but I think for now you just need to rise above it and send your congratulations and generally be happy for them. Otherwise you risk your response being the thing that is remembered about this special time.

I think it would be reasonable at some point in the future to just gently point out that it would have been kinder to let you know directly before putting it on social media.

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