To think my marriage is over

So he has been looking after the kids every weekend?

OP - this isn't about you being worthless- he's just a shallow man who wanted the ego buzz of 'fresh blood' someone who thinks he's great, laughs at his jokes, makes no domestic demands etc- the minute that gets old with someone new and he realises the grass isn't greener, there is a very high chance he will repeat the pattern . I doubt very much it's you -

Look back in a years time and I wouldn't be suprised if you wonder what you saw in him - women who are with these arses often feel like this- the thought of a split is worse than the actuality . Women who have been with men who treated them well and had a great relationship and generally a very good life are the ones who struggle more to let go mentally longer term in my experience

Men like yours tend to be the ones that move on quickly because itsall about 'the present' and don't look backwards as they have no depth- so don't give him the satisfaction of feeling he's your everything - just say - yep it isn't working, let's discuss maintenance and asset splitting/ housing etc right now. Concentrate on you and your children and dont feel you have to replace him to 'get back' you really don't .

OP, this man farts enough for it to be comment-worthy and wakes up with blood-stained teeth. That is the reality of who he is, not to mention the rest of his appalling behaviour.

Focus on the positives, which are that he has given you beautiful children, and that the veil is being removed from your eyes and you can see him for what he truly is, and live a better life without him going forward.

OP read back your posts.
Look at what you have managed to get rid of , the garbage has taken its self out .
You said you thought you would be happy without him. Keep these thoughts .
What he has done isn’t a reflection on you this highlights who he is .

Keep reading back your posts . If i was the other women I wouldn’t hand around for long do that’s what he is like. .

You don't need to get over the trust issue just now as you are now separated .
Get your Counseling and you will
be a whole different person.

Happy without this cheating slob .

You won’t today. Or tomorrow, or the next day. It’s really soon.
At the moment the ‘to-do’ list is probably overwhelming, but you need to put one foot in front of the other, get your finances sharpened up, and seek legal advice. But first, do whatever you need to do to ride the emotions. I can’t remember if you’d said you have family or friends you can call upon for support. If you do, get them round this evening for after the children have gone to bed, and have a big cry. I honestly think this will help, even just 1% x

Before your updates, I thought he had another woman. You don't have sex. He's never home. It all adds up.

You don't want to leave, because he is all you have known. I can relate to that. My first husband was very much like yours. He was my first boyfriend, so the only man I had ever been with. But he was always out with his mates, and after him cheating on me (more than once), I did leave him, and we had been together for 20 years at that point.

Guess what, I am now married to someone else, and he NEVER behaves like husband number 1.

Your relationship isn't right. You know it. Just call time and move on. You can do way better than this.

He's been taking your kids out with the OW? Have the kids said anything or has he asked them to lie?

Bastard! Time to find your anger and chuck him out.

Because he’s a useless, selfish prick. As soon as you stopped being of use to him, he quit trying to pretend otherwise and did whatever he wanted.

Because unfortunately, he is a selfish arsehole / [insert appropriate alternatives] who prioritises his dick over anything else.

It’s ok, and understandable that you feel worthless right now. You’re not worthless at all. That’s a fact. He is. Future you will realise this, and wish she could give today you such a big hug. I’m sure future you would tell you, you are stronger than you realise, and how wonderful your children have grown up to become.

But allow yourself to feel all the emotions now in the moment. Maybe schedule some ‘fun’ with the children. Could you have a PJ day, movies and homemade pizza for dinner? Something that convinces them you’re having an absolute blast, but gives you the space to cry into a coffee with the movie blaring away in the background? x

Lying is always easier in the short term than being honest about something unpleasant.

When you are able to make decisions for yourself, without airways wondering where he is, and when he'll get back, it will make things a lot easier. Trying to second guess a liar is impossible.

OP, he is scum.
Has been for years.
Do not be surprised at all.
This is 100% who he is.
You WILL get through this and you WILL look back on this ending as a blessing.

You deserve so much better than this.

Involving your children in the lie is the ultimate betrayal. I would honestly pack him a back, if you haven’t already, and give yourself some space and time.
I’m so sorry that men have such gutter morals. His behaviour says nothing about you, and everything about him x

I was shocked when i read this! But makes sense now. He's been doing all this stuff to make you end it so he can swan off with the new woman and give it all the "oh well she ended it with me" line. Man's a complete tool and your better off rid. You go get back your happiness start a fresh.