Will try and give a backstory very briefly:
I am recently divorced - about 4 months ago, however, have been 'officially separated' from ex husband for a couple of years.
It's been a very hard few years and I have changed a lot, mainly in that I've stopped being a people pleaser. I come from a very orthodox background and I basically sleep walked into a marriage that was pleasing to my mum (as she found the Western men that I was dating very offputting and that made life very hard for me). I have children with my ex husband.
Anyway. Long story short, I have been seeing a man for a year now (oddly enough the healthiest relationship I've ever had) and it's been non-stop issues with my mum and I honestly can't take it anymore. Constant disapproval and disappointment in me. I've tried to create some firm but gentle boundaries because I love her and I know she loves me and I'm all she has (I know this is not my fault but it's the situation). She is also basically the only family I have.
So - to the point - she says the issue she has is because this new man is around my children (he has them of a similar age and they get on extremely well). We have been very very careful not to let on to the children that we are anything more than friends (the children are young, they basically just have had the odd playdate/outing with this man and his kids). My mum says I have no respect for 'common decency'. I believe the situation is totally fine and above board, however I've been told I can be a bit black and white about things. New man and I are both extremely cautious as we're both pretty devastated about divorce etc. Am I being unreasonable? Should I leave a 'respectful amount of time' between divorce and seeing someone? Am I putting my children in danger? Or is my mum BU? Is it ok for me to be seeing this man so long as we proceed with caution? Is this her strict background and 'what will the neighbours think' mentality? I am honestly continuously crushed by her responses to me and her habit of forgiving and rejecting me over and over again. Thank you for reading.