Page 9 | To complain about a GP calling me this?

lolit · 2024-12-31T21:37:27+00:00

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 23:14

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 23:10

Why didn’t you say it to his face, op, instead of hiding behind an arms length complaint?
You still haven’t explained what sort of “vulnerable position” you were in that precluded this.

Because in that moment he made me feel uncomfortable so I shut down and just needed to get out of there. I was in a vulnerable position because it was during an examination.

OP posts:

MotherJessAndKittens · 31/12/2024 23:12

Sounds like he is 90 😂

shuggles · 31/12/2024 23:12

lolit · 31/12/2024 23:08

Do you think he would have said good boy to a man? Be serious

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I think it's highly likely that he would refer to a young man as a "lad," yes.

Men are referred to as "boys" all the time. I've worked with women in differing contexts who referred to male colleagues as either "boys" or "lads." On TV, I hear various football managers refer to their players as "the boys."

I'm not sure why any of it is offensive.

Differentstarts · 31/12/2024 23:11

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 23:10

I have never called a work colleague, a direct report or a boss good girl, mate, sweetheart, love, pet, or good boy. Because they aren’t children.

i see children as lesser - i don’t see adults in the same way. I respect adults and use their names. Children are entirely different and how you relate to children in your class should be entirely different to how a GP relates to adult patients. I am sure you can see the difference between adults and children.

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You see children as lesser

ForsterMcLennan · 31/12/2024 23:11

ColourBlueColourPurple · 31/12/2024 22:49

No wonder people are leaving healthcare professions in droves. It wouldn't even occur to me to make a complaint about this.

Congratulations

StrikeForever · 31/12/2024 23:11

lolit · 31/12/2024 23:08

Do you think he would have said good boy to a man? Be serious

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He might have said ‘good lad’!

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 23:10

Why didn’t you say it to his face, op, instead of hiding behind an arms length complaint?
You still haven’t explained what sort of “vulnerable position” you were in that precluded this.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 23:10

Pieceofpurplesky · 31/12/2024 23:04

It's a bit weird for him to say it but I have been guilty of saying things without thinking!

As a teacher I have called kids love, sweetheart, mate, good boy ... I don't mean to say them and don't do it often but sometimes my mouth works before my brain ... I don't do it often but sometimes they slip out.

I have never called a work colleague, a direct report or a boss good girl, mate, sweetheart, love, pet, or good boy. Because they aren’t children.

i see children as lesser - i don’t see adults in the same way. I respect adults and use their names. Children are entirely different and how you relate to children in your class should be entirely different to how a GP relates to adult patients. I am sure you can see the difference between adults and children.

Withatraceofmisty · 31/12/2024 23:09

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 23:07

@lolit How precisely was he sexist?! 😂

It's benevolent sexism. Trivialising women by calling them girls.

shuggles · 31/12/2024 23:09

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:49

He was old enough to be my father. It made me extremely uncomfortable

Edited

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If you're young, then that's likely why he perceived you as a "girl"...

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 23:09

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 23:00

She has been vague in the extreme, yet jumped on several suggestions other posters made.
I find the whole tale a bit dubious, tbh.

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What more detail do you need to deem this inappropriate? He’s a doctor and called her ‘good girl’ in a sexual way whilst examining her. That should be enough.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 23:08

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 23:07

@lolit How precisely was he sexist?! 😂

Do you think he would have said good boy to a man? Be serious

OP posts:

StrikeForever · 31/12/2024 23:08

2025willbemytime · 31/12/2024 21:38

Too late but you should have said I'm a woman, please don't patronise me.

This 👆 A grown up conversation at the time would have educated him.

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 23:07

@lolit How precisely was he sexist?! 😂

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 23:06

@surreygirl1987 It's not misogyny though it's at best, a difference of personality type and at worst, two words said in the heat of the moment! On one occasion! Not repeatedly ffs!

Pieceofpurplesky · 31/12/2024 23:04

It's a bit weird for him to say it but I have been guilty of saying things without thinking!

As a teacher I have called kids love, sweetheart, mate, good boy ... I don't mean to say them and don't do it often but sometimes my mouth works before my brain ... I don't do it often but sometimes they slip out.

Aduvetday · 31/12/2024 23:02

It was someone saying something that made them feel uncomfortable - about my GP that saw him imprisoned for catastrophic abuse against female patients. Just saying. Before everyone days you’re hysterical - you’re not. They at least need training.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 23:01

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 31/12/2024 22:52

What do you want? Have him struck off? Admonished?

I want to stop him from making another woman uncomfortable

OP posts:

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 23:00

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 23:00

She has been vague in the extreme, yet jumped on several suggestions other posters made.
I find the whole tale a bit dubious, tbh.

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+1 to this. It smells kinda funny.

beetr00 · 31/12/2024 23:00

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 22:58

Why don’t you believe her? Are you the doctor?

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or his male colleague?

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 23:00

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 22:58

Why don’t you believe her? Are you the doctor?

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She has been vague in the extreme, yet jumped on several suggestions other posters made.
I find the whole tale a bit dubious, tbh.

Ladymuck2022 · 31/12/2024 22:59

Yes I was told off as a home carer for saying well done as patronising to a service user for them managing to eat full dinner in 2012. Why should a gp be let off a patronising remark.

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 22:58

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 22:54

Well of course op claims it was said in a sexual way.

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Why don’t you believe her? Are you the doctor?

surreygirl1987 · 31/12/2024 22:56

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:52

For him to understand this is inappropriate and stop?

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Exactly! Things don't change unless someone says something.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:56

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 22:55

He's probably a partner i.e. owner so he's judge and jury. He's not going to change the habit of a lifetime is he.

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So women should stay silent? Shouldn’t call out inappropriate behavior? Because no one will listen?