To complain about a GP calling me this?

100% report the comments here are mad

The OP doesn’t seem to suggest they are making the complaint because they thought it was patronising or misogynistic. To
me it reads as though the OP thought it was a sexual advance (may not be the right term but that’s how it’s coming across) in which case a complaint would be justified.

Well done!

Same. Not a hill I would choose to die on.

This was my first thought when I saw this. It struck me as potentially having sexual connotations. I agree you should complain.

Well done! There is a depressing underbelly of society who try to shame people who stand up for what is right.

if more people are prepared to call this short of shit out then it will get harder and harder for people to get away with it.

Everyday sexism is depressing - and hopefully by the next generation women won’t have to tolerate and
excuse this sort of nonsense.

Do they still use a lollipop stick on the tongue when checking the throat?

@lolit Anyway, this thread was very helpful, even the comments telling me to get over myself helped me see how normalised this is, which is exactly why I need to put in a complaint.

Dear lord.

I suppose the clinic isn't busy enough already and they need more stuff to deal with.

Yes, I imagine it’s quite deliberate.

Why is that so unusual that it made you laugh? Do hospital staff not normally use such terms of endearment?

I've been called "sweetie" and "love" by healthcare professionals many times.

Don't complain. Do email the practice manager saying that calling adult women "good girl" is something that should not happen in a professional setting, and please could he/she have a word with colleagues..

I’m a HCP and regularly listen to peoples chests, examine them, etc - I will generally ramble niceties and reassurance when I examine children as they’re often very nervous, and try to move through the examination as fluidly and casually as possible, so I’ve checked everything before they’ve really even realised i’ve done a great deal. So while I do the examination I’ll chatter away to them in this soft and gentle, sort of continuous motherese, along the lines of “I’m just going to have a little listen to your chest, is that okay sweetie pie, lovely, shall we get mummy to lift the back of your top up for me, good girl, this might be a little be cold on your back, there we go, nice work, you are so brave, let’s just pop this little machine on your finger, lovely, can I check your temperature, brilliant, there we go, all done”.

So I definitely use “good girl” sometimes in my clinical practice, and I’m sure on a particular busy day it could slip out to slightly the wrong age patient. But I’m a woman, and if another woman said that to me accidentally - I’d probably take it in the warm and motherly way it was intended (whether chronological age made that a bit odd or not) - but from a man to a woman/girl - I agree that it has some different connotations or possible extrapolations.

@shuggles no... pretty sure that's not it.

@SilenceInside Also amazed at how many responses here are excusing this kind of comment and berating the OP for daring to have a problem with it.

Probably because these kinds of issues are raised by people who need to look for problems. Oh how I wish my life was so problem-free that I could spend time looking for problems in how people address me.

I’m usually pretty thick skinned about this kind of stuff but I think it would be reasonable to bring it to the attention of the practice manager by way of feedback, without making a formal complaint.

I took my 15 yo son to the GP recently and he had an examination of his genitals. As DS got dressed and came out from behind the curtain, the GP said “good lad”. I thought nothing of it. He was, as intended, putting a teenager at ease.

The difference is that you’re not a child. You may be much younger than your GP (I’m guessing he’s an old man) but he should treat you as an adult and address you as such. “Good girl” is condescending if not misogynistic.

My mid wife called me darling twice today - I couldn’t care less as long as she was doing her job well.
did chuckle when she went out of the room tho

Not really. The kink community is larger than you'd think. Obviously people don't talk about it. And it's become more popular since Fifty Shades/internet porn.

A mysterious "examination"

But my point remains - we treat children differently than adults because they have less capacity.

and I have have three glasses of wine sitting at home. I am not a GP seeing patients😊and edited to say you comparing a GP’s comment’s to an adult to your comments to small children also makes my point😂😂😂🍷

Are you deliberately evading the question of which part of your body was being examined he said this? Because he could have been examining your knee! Which would be totally different from him examining your breast then saying it.

So you admit to saying a wrong phrase it's funny how humans do that isn't it. Oh the irony 🙄

My male dentist held my chin and jaw in a way that made me feel very vulnerable. I raised it about 10 minutes later at the time and he said I should have said something. But I had a meltdown because he put all the responsibility on me. It was awful. I completely understand why you didn't say anything at the time.

It is absolutely the case that guy should make a formal complaint as your situation is way worse than mine. I won't be seeing him again.

Also amazed at how many responses here are excusing this kind of comment and berating the OP for daring to have a problem with it.

Of course it's ok to contact the GP surgery and make a complaint about this. Of course it's ok not have said anything in the moment, when something like this takes you by surprise it's totally normal not to have a reply immediately to hand. Of course this kind of comment is patronising and sexist.

Yes - in that I am the adult and they are the child. It’s not patronizing to call them affectionate phrases and to stop them from doing things that may cause them harm.

I would step in to stop a child playing with a knife for example but I wouldn’t do the same for an adult. I believe society has a significantly greater responsibility towards children because they are vulnerable and need our care.

Lesser was perhaps the wrong phrase. But they have less capacity to cope in the world and aren’t independent. So they need adults, need guidance, need supervision. Competent adults don’t so we as a society treat them differently. Don’t give them the same freedoms and rights.