Page 2 | To complain about a GP calling me this?

lolit · 2024-12-31T21:37:27+00:00

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

TriesNotToBeCynical · 02/01/2025 00:35

remaininghopeful23 · 02/01/2025 00:08

Staff member is informed and must meet to discuss with relevant personnel and yes is reprimanded. Will usually end with needing to take a course in dignity in health care and written apology to patient.

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Only if the complaint is upheld!

remaininghopeful23 · 02/01/2025 00:08

RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 22:03

What happens when it comes up as a complaint. Is the person reprimanded or sanctioned?

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Staff member is informed and must meet to discuss with relevant personnel and yes is reprimanded. Will usually end with needing to take a course in dignity in health care and written apology to patient.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 01/01/2025 22:19

I completely misinterpreted GP as grandparent so was completely thrown.

surreygirl1987 · 01/01/2025 22:03

remaininghopeful23 · 01/01/2025 21:45

None of us know for sure I suppose.
My stance comes from working in maternity care and this comes up as a complaint more often than you'd think, women with their legs open, male doctor's hand inside them, and thinking it appropriate to call them 'good girl'. It's gross and inappropriate.

Of course vulnerable is subjective but can we not accept that OP did feel vulnerable at the time?

What do you mean about you can't speak in a sexual manner? Of course you can.

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I completely believe you. As I and others have said earlier in this thread, I've never felt so patronised and disrespected as I was when I was pregnant and immediately after giving birth.

RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 22:03

remaininghopeful23 · 01/01/2025 21:45

None of us know for sure I suppose.
My stance comes from working in maternity care and this comes up as a complaint more often than you'd think, women with their legs open, male doctor's hand inside them, and thinking it appropriate to call them 'good girl'. It's gross and inappropriate.

Of course vulnerable is subjective but can we not accept that OP did feel vulnerable at the time?

What do you mean about you can't speak in a sexual manner? Of course you can.

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What happens when it comes up as a complaint. Is the person reprimanded or sanctioned?

remaininghopeful23 · 01/01/2025 21:45

Meltedwelly · 01/01/2025 21:38

No they are being deliberately obtuse.

Any physical inspection is an examination and vulnerable is subjective. Saying ahhhh as they look at your mouth is vulnerable.

And again, you can't speak in a sexual manner, unless perhaps the GP was Barry White.

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None of us know for sure I suppose.
My stance comes from working in maternity care and this comes up as a complaint more often than you'd think, women with their legs open, male doctor's hand inside them, and thinking it appropriate to call them 'good girl'. It's gross and inappropriate.

Of course vulnerable is subjective but can we not accept that OP did feel vulnerable at the time?

What do you mean about you can't speak in a sexual manner? Of course you can.

Meltedwelly · 01/01/2025 21:38

remaininghopeful23 · 01/01/2025 21:31

OP has said she was being examined and was in a vulnerable position.. I can only assume a vaginal or otherwise intimate examination of some sort? And the doctor said it in a sexual manner. It's not that hard to see that this is not OK!

No they are being deliberately obtuse.

Any physical inspection is an examination and vulnerable is subjective. Saying ahhhh as they look at your mouth is vulnerable.

And again, you can't speak in a sexual manner, unless perhaps the GP was Barry White.

Outwiththenorm · 01/01/2025 21:36

Totally agree with your complaint, Op. Totally creepy and unprofessional thing for him to say, whatever his tone. Ignore the handmaidens here.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 01/01/2025 21:32

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remaininghopeful23 · 01/01/2025 21:31

OP has said she was being examined and was in a vulnerable position.. I can only assume a vaginal or otherwise intimate examination of some sort? And the doctor said it in a sexual manner. It's not that hard to see that this is not OK!

Bornnotbourne · 01/01/2025 21:30

I was once said a very enthusiastic ‘Good boy’ to a patient on my first day back from maternity leave and he fell about laughing and asked if I was flirting with him.
When you are public facing for your entire work day you will trip up and say the wrong thing once in a while.

crowisland · 01/01/2025 21:20

Social change cannot happen unless people are confronted about their offensive behaviour- even if it is unconscious, habitual, and ‘traditional’. Never too late to learn and to expand one’s vocabulary.

Meltedwelly · 01/01/2025 21:11

lolit · 01/01/2025 21:08

I felt uncomfortable, in the way women feel when they are in a space with a man who says something inappropriate to them. I didn't feel unsafe in the sense that I was scared of him or anything, I never said that.

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Did you ever tell us what this examination was? Why wasnt a female chaperone offered?

Original poster

lolit · 01/01/2025 21:10

It's honestly a bit disturbing that I'm being told to seek professional help because a man's actions made me feel uncomfortable. I will leave this thread now for good for the sake of my mental health. Thank you to the posters who were supportive, you gave me some comfort.

OP posts:

Original poster

lolit · 01/01/2025 21:08

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I felt uncomfortable, in the way women feel when they are in a space with a man who says something inappropriate to them. I didn't feel unsafe in the sense that I was scared of him or anything, I never said that.

OP posts:

Olderbutt · 01/01/2025 21:01

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 21:42

Honestly it's probably just an absent minded slip of the tongue, like when you tell your boss you love them at the end of a phone call. I certainly wouldn't be harbouring a grudge into the new year because of it

Just this!

Alphabetsoups · 01/01/2025 21:01

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RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 20:57

lolit · 01/01/2025 20:56

I was made the feel uncomfortable in the moment when I was meant to be made to feel safe and at ease. If you were made to feel that way, you would think twice about it too.

So I will not stop, I will complain every time this happens because I don't want another woman to experience the same.

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I quite agree @lolit.

Original poster

lolit · 01/01/2025 20:56

STOPCOLLABERATEANDLISTEN19 · 01/01/2025 20:51

Oh OP fgs just stop - most people wouldnt think twice about this nor mean anything by it
People just want to be perpetually offended now

Edited

I was made the feel uncomfortable in the moment when I was meant to be made to feel safe and at ease. If you were made to feel that way, you would think twice about it too.

So I will not stop, I will complain every time this happens because I don't want another woman to experience the same.

OP posts:

StrikeForever · 01/01/2025 20:54

RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 20:22

I think the comment was infantilising and misogynistic. I think GPs adopt that stance too often.

Not many years ago I had a male GP introduce himself: hello Roses, I'm one of the GP Partners here, Dr Bloggs. I noted that my name was Mrs Hellebores.

Two weeks later I had a follow up appointment and asked him why he thought it was OK to use my first name when he expected me to address him with the courtesy of his title. His response "he forgot my surname between the consultancy room and reception". I responded. "Oh, did you forget your first name was Steve as well". He got very terse.

I fail to see why any individual shoukd ever be regarded with less respect than a Dr.

Brilliant 👌 Some doctors do it with other staff too. They like to be Dr so and so, whilst calling the nurses, psychologists etc by the first names. I was never willing to play that game myself!

Shotokan101 · 01/01/2025 20:53

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RosesAndHellebores · 01/01/2025 20:52

StrikeForever · 01/01/2025 20:47

Ahh, but would you put in a formal complaint?

Being called Hun gives me the rage, but it wouldn’t occur to me to formalise a complaint about it!

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I think women need to start objecting to infantilisation and misogyny.

It never fails to amaze me that at my local hospital female patients are called to their appointments as Jane Smith whilst men are called to theirs as Mr Smith.

It is reprehensible.

STOPCOLLABERATEANDLISTEN19 · 01/01/2025 20:51

Oh OP fgs just stop - most people wouldnt think twice about this nor mean anything by it
People just want to be perpetually offended now

FlipFlopVibe · 01/01/2025 20:50

I work in public service and we often have training that would suggest this was inappropriate language. I’d be creeped out by it too, especially if it was an intimate examination

StrikeForever · 01/01/2025 20:47

Ladyingreen999 · 01/01/2025 18:04

A midwife called me that during labour. Could have punched her!

Ahh, but would you put in a formal complaint?

Being called Hun gives me the rage, but it wouldn’t occur to me to formalise a complaint about it!