Page 14 | To complain about a GP calling me this?

lolit · 2024-12-31T21:37:27+00:00

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

ThatKhakiMoose · 31/12/2024 22:00

Ugh, that's absolutely gross and completely unacceptable. "Good girl" is a phrase form the dom/sub dynamic of the kink community. I bet he's into kink and secretly got off on saying that, knowing you probably wouldn't pick up on it. A thousand times yuck.

ThatMauveRaven · 31/12/2024 21:58

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 21:42

Honestly it's probably just an absent minded slip of the tongue, like when you tell your boss you love them at the end of a phone call. I certainly wouldn't be harbouring a grudge into the new year because of it

This. No, he shouldn’t have said it but when you’re talking to so many patients per day it’s easy to start messing your words up. I highly doubt he meant to say it!!

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 21:58

Interesting how the comments seem to be split by women who enable this misogyny and those who are appalled by it.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:56

Mittens67 · 31/12/2024 21:50

I think a complaint is justified. He needs it brought home to him that this language is not acceptable.
Does he say “good boy” to men I wonder? Or offer a choc drop or bonio after?!
It is all the worse given it was said whilst you were in a vulnerable position ie being examined and because he is a health professional who should be aware that a patient’s dignity is extremely important.
I am a retired nurse and would say that a formal complaint is entirely justified.
If nobody complains he will continue to think is acceptable behaviour so in complaining you are helping all the other women he will go on to upset in the future.

Thank you, you have verbalised perfectly why I feel a complaint is warranted.

OP posts:

MistressoftheDarkSide · 31/12/2024 21:55

I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable as going to the doctors is often an unpleasant experience anyway. Could you maybe ask to see a different GP, perhaps a woman in future? Unfortunately complaints of this nature very rarely seem to go very far, and it might take up more time and emotional investment than it's worth.

Anyway, best wishes and hope you feel better soon.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:53

ShortyShorts · 31/12/2024 21:52

You should've complained to him at the time if it bothered you? 😳

I was in a vulnerable position and taken aback.

OP posts:

ShortyShorts · 31/12/2024 21:52

You should've complained to him at the time if it bothered you? 😳

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 21:52

OP ignoring the pertinent question of which body area doc was examining. I'm guessing it wasnt the old horses collar after all.

TheM55 · 31/12/2024 21:52

I would find it an odd slightly creepy phrase to use, but I probably would just laugh at it with my mates / family, especially if I didn't object at the time and there was nothing else that was off. Often you can change doctors at the same surgery, or ask if there is a female doctor to see. Complaining is over the top. I once had a GP asking me to take my panties off, and I found that a bit of an odd term too, but put it down to me being slightly weird about the word "panties", preferring almost anything - knickers, pants, underwear etc. It was a female GP, but it wouldn't have mattered, still found the turn of phrase a bit off-putting.

EffortlesslyInelegant · 31/12/2024 21:51

Well I suppose if you are a 6' 9" navvy built like a brick shithouse then yeah, complain. If not just get over yourself.

Answeringaquestiontonight · 31/12/2024 21:51

Is there a way of passing on feedback that you were called ‘good girl’ but that’s pretty patronising? So you aren’t complaining per se because that seems OTT but you are calling it out.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:50

To be my father*

OP posts:

Mittens67 · 31/12/2024 21:50

I think a complaint is justified. He needs it brought home to him that this language is not acceptable.
Does he say “good boy” to men I wonder? Or offer a choc drop or bonio after?!
It is all the worse given it was said whilst you were in a vulnerable position ie being examined and because he is a health professional who should be aware that a patient’s dignity is extremely important.
I am a retired nurse and would say that a formal complaint is entirely justified.
If nobody complains he will continue to think is acceptable behaviour so in complaining you are helping all the other women he will go on to upset in the future.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:49

MistressoftheDarkSide · 31/12/2024 21:46

Not ideal and would irk me. However, sarcastic witch that I am, I might have asked where my biscuit was......

Would be interested in context and age of said doctor - have found that older / old school "professional" men can be incredibly patronising without apparently realising it.

He was old enough to be my father. It made me extremely uncomfortable

OP posts:

GoadyMcBigot · 31/12/2024 21:49

Was it an intimate examination and so 100% not unreasonable to be repulsed.

anything else then he’s been inappropriate but not worth complaining about.

Daisydaisy2024 · 31/12/2024 21:48

Nah. Move on.

SpringIscomingalso · 31/12/2024 21:47

Daisybuttercup12345 · 31/12/2024 21:45

Are you a naughty girl then? The NHS staff are working themselves into the ground and you want to complain about this?
Go and melt with the rest of the snowflakes ❄️ 😴

He will offer her some antidepressants

MistressoftheDarkSide · 31/12/2024 21:46

Not ideal and would irk me. However, sarcastic witch that I am, I might have asked where my biscuit was......

Would be interested in context and age of said doctor - have found that older / old school "professional" men can be incredibly patronising without apparently realising it.

DontshootmyRaptors · 31/12/2024 21:46

You weren’t wearing that perfume by Carolina Herrara were you?

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 21:45

Brefugee · 31/12/2024 21:43

and on The Chase when Bradley says it it is sexist patronising twaddle.

how often does he say "good boy"?

But agree with pp, the time to bring it up was then during the consultation.

Show quote history

Good lad gets used sometimes but I doubt a 37 year old Graham would cry about it.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 31/12/2024 21:45

Are you a naughty girl then? The NHS staff are working themselves into the ground and you want to complain about this?
Go and melt with the rest of the snowflakes ❄️ 😴

Mountainpika · 31/12/2024 21:43

I had a session with a delightful dentist recently. He called me Young Lady. I laughed. I'm 77.

ChristmasisinManchester · 31/12/2024 21:43

Examining you how?

tonsils? No complaint

private areas? I probably would. My guess is you’ve picked up on bad intent but it would be hard to have a firm complaint without it being an intimate examination.

ElloKip · 31/12/2024 21:43

I mean, what was the context?

I think a blood test vs a cervical exam makes a hell of a difference here.

Brefugee · 31/12/2024 21:43

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 21:41

Don't be so ridiculous. Bradley sometimes says that on The Chase.

And lets be honest the GP Manager wouldnt give a flying F and you'd be put on a list of obnoxious patients.

and on The Chase when Bradley says it it is sexist patronising twaddle.

how often does he say "good boy"?

But agree with pp, the time to bring it up was then during the consultation.