Page 13 | To complain about a GP calling me this?

lolit · 2024-12-31T21:37:27+00:00

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:16

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 31/12/2024 22:08

@lolit , in what way we’re you actually harmed? This ridiculous culture of offence really boils my pee. If you complain I sincerely hope the practice laughs in your face. By the way get a new GP, preferably one who is so up their own arse they can’t be remotely human in their relationship with you. I hope you enjoy the robotic relationship you will have with them. 🙄

I was made to feel very uncomfortable in a moment when I should have been put at ease (during an examination)

OP posts:

Fargo79 · 31/12/2024 22:15

JMSA · 31/12/2024 22:13

If offended or annoyed, you should have said something at the time.
But, for the love of God, don't put in a complaint.

So people who feel unable to deal with confrontation for whatever reason should just put up with being treated poorly?

OP should absolutely complain if she wants to.

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 22:15

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 31/12/2024 22:08

@lolit , in what way we’re you actually harmed? This ridiculous culture of offence really boils my pee. If you complain I sincerely hope the practice laughs in your face. By the way get a new GP, preferably one who is so up their own arse they can’t be remotely human in their relationship with you. I hope you enjoy the robotic relationship you will have with them. 🙄

I’m sorry that you’ve been so brainwashed by the patriarchy that you think that this is remotely acceptable to say.

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 22:15

I mean, you've every right to complain but just expect a pithy response from the practice manager. I complained regarding a very traumatic 24 period when an elderly relative slowly passed away at home and the response from the GP to administer final meds (morphine) was shambolic at best and got the most half hearted fk you letter.

Get a sense of perspective. And as for it being a sexual tone, thats likely how you chose to interpret it. There's every chance he would say good lad to guy under 40 but that doesnt annoy the feminists.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:15

MumWifeOther · 31/12/2024 22:10

It’s definitely gross and would have made me feel uncomfortable. I think I would only complain had it been during an examination or something? Was it?

Yes

OP posts:

JMSA · 31/12/2024 22:13

If offended or annoyed, you should have said something at the time.
But, for the love of God, don't put in a complaint.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:13

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 31/12/2024 22:08

@lolit , in what way we’re you actually harmed? This ridiculous culture of offence really boils my pee. If you complain I sincerely hope the practice laughs in your face. By the way get a new GP, preferably one who is so up their own arse they can’t be remotely human in their relationship with you. I hope you enjoy the robotic relationship you will have with them. 🙄

this is why our society is fucked - people ridicule other for standing up for basic standards.

men get away with treating women like less intelligent individuals because we are programmed to take it.

out of interest if your boss called you a good girl how would you react? Or a subordinate? I would be horrified and would assume they were having some sort of mental break

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:12

A lot of people are assuming he said it a condescending tone, so the response on this thread made me question why is it exactly it made me so uncomfortable and I realised it's because he didn't say it in a condescending tone, but in a sexual one tbh. It gives me the shivers just thinking about and I have decided to definitely report him. It's my duty to at least try to stop him from making another female patient uncomfortable.

OP posts:

Mooshroo · 31/12/2024 22:12

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:04

Is it harmless if it made me extremely uncomfortable as a young woman do be told that by an older man in a vulnerable moment?

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How vulnerable are we talking, should there have been a chaperone, that type of examination?

If an intimate examination it might perhaps alter my view. If not then my previous comment stands. My dentist has said something similar I’m pretty sure. They’re just trying to have a bedside manner but sometimes don’t always get it right.

Kimmeridge · 31/12/2024 22:12

ThatKhakiMoose · 31/12/2024 22:00

Ugh, that's absolutely gross and completely unacceptable. "Good girl" is a phrase form the dom/sub dynamic of the kink community. I bet he's into kink and secretly got off on saying that, knowing you probably wouldn't pick up on it. A thousand times yuck.

Well that's a leap

ttcat37 · 31/12/2024 22:12

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 22:06

@ttcat37 but I wouldn't see this as misogyny, if he called OP 'Babe' or similar I would but, woman/girl/lady I'm comfortable with all of those terms for referring to me by someone who doesn't know me well.

Same as I might use lads or boys interchangeably to thank someone or "good lad" with a non-patronising intention of someone doing what you ask in an uncomfortable scenario like staying still while having first aid or similar administered.

Just because you find it misogynistic doesn't mean the rest of us do.

How many times do you think the doctor has called an adult man ‘good boy’?

This is misogyny. Just because you can’t recognise it doesn’t make it not so.

smokeandflame · 31/12/2024 22:11

I think a complaint is entirely appropriate. His language was patronising and upset you. I'm sure he didn't 'mean anything by it' as other posters have suggested, but that's not the point. He's woefully ignorant and needs to be educated.

I would put money on him never calling men 'good boy'.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:11

Kimmeridge · 31/12/2024 21:39

What exactly would your complaint be??

It was patronising yes but you either address it at the time or forget about it

Completely over reacting to be considering making a complaint

Edited

The complaint is he uses sexist and outdated language which impacts on your trust in his professionalism.

imagine a man being called a good little boy by a doctor!

Women can’t accept this kind of nonsense

MumWifeOther · 31/12/2024 22:10

It’s definitely gross and would have made me feel uncomfortable. I think I would only complain had it been during an examination or something? Was it?

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 31/12/2024 22:08

@lolit , in what way we’re you actually harmed? This ridiculous culture of offence really boils my pee. If you complain I sincerely hope the practice laughs in your face. By the way get a new GP, preferably one who is so up their own arse they can’t be remotely human in their relationship with you. I hope you enjoy the robotic relationship you will have with them. 🙄

thegirlwithemousyhair · 31/12/2024 22:07

GPs often say stuff in an effort to put people at ease. Its not meant to patronise or insult a patient.

If thats all youve got to worry about after a visit to the GP, consider yourself lucky.

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 22:06

@ttcat37 but I wouldn't see this as misogyny, if he called OP 'Babe' or similar I would but, woman/girl/lady I'm comfortable with all of those terms for referring to me by someone who doesn't know me well.

Same as I might use lads or boys interchangeably to thank someone or "good lad" with a non-patronising intention of someone doing what you ask in an uncomfortable scenario like staying still while having first aid or similar administered.

Just because you find it misogynistic doesn't mean the rest of us do.

Hankunamatata · 31/12/2024 22:05

I'd phrase it as feedback that it's not appropriate for GP to use the term good girl and would prefer that term wasn't used in future.
If you were happy with level of care apart from that I would mention that as well

Porkyporkchop · 31/12/2024 22:05

That has seriously creeped me out. 🤮

Mielbee · 31/12/2024 22:05

Bleurgh that makes me feel physically sick. Please complain so that it doesn't keep happening. To those saying it's a slip of the tongue - who do you reckon he's regularly saying good girl to?!

Spangledangle · 31/12/2024 22:04

Drs of old used to say this all the time. I think if it was an old gp I would let it go as I imagine it's probably just habit.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:04

Mooshroo · 31/12/2024 22:02

People must be so exhausted being so angry all the time. It may be viewed as patronising but for the most part it’s harmless. No wonder no one wants to work with the public anymore.

Is it harmless if it made me extremely uncomfortable as a young woman do be told that by an older man in a vulnerable moment?

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/12/2024 22:04

GreenWasper · 31/12/2024 21:42

Ugh 🤢 gross. It's inappropriate and unprofessional but whether you complain would probably depend on how much it affected you. If you're genuinely distressed then say something. If it just gave you the ick I'd probably just plan my comeback for next time a bloke made that mistake.
And ask to see another doctor in future!

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Gross??
Bit of an overreaction!

MistressoftheDarkSide · 31/12/2024 22:02

Well that escalated quickly.......

Mooshroo · 31/12/2024 22:02

People must be so exhausted being so angry all the time. It may be viewed as patronising but for the most part it’s harmless. No wonder no one wants to work with the public anymore.