Page 12 | To complain about a GP calling me this?

lolit · 2024-12-31T21:37:27+00:00

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

Nerdlings · 31/12/2024 22:30

Anyone who doesn’t see a problem with a man saying “good girl” to a woman during a physical examination needs to have a good looks at themselves and their own internalised misogyny.

OP, you are entirely in the right here. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It is women standing up for themselves that makes things better for all women.

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:29

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 22:28

🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ FGS you need a thicker skin than this. No, I'm not saying he was right to say it but it's one of those offhand comments he possibly regretted as soon as he said it. It's certainly not worth embarrassing the GP in front of all his colleagues for! It wasn't sexual harassment or god forbid, anything physical. If it's part of a pattern of behaviour or he says it again, that may be different. But not for one singular slip of the tongue.

He didn't look like he regretted it, he looked pleased.

OP posts:

quantumbutterfly · 31/12/2024 22:28

Were you tempted to say woof and lick his face?

BananaSpanner · 31/12/2024 22:28

OP- what was he doing at the point he said it? You keep saying examining you. Specifically what? I’m surprised if it was an intimate examination there wasn’t a chaperone of sorts present. But you are being vague.

Gowlett · 31/12/2024 22:28

Not saying it’s okay, just not noteworthy.

surreygirl1987 · 31/12/2024 22:28

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:11

The complaint is he uses sexist and outdated language which impacts on your trust in his professionalism.

imagine a man being called a good little boy by a doctor!

Women can’t accept this kind of nonsense

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This. My husband never gets patronised or called a 'good boy' by his doctor. He is treated with respect and dignity.

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 22:28

🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ FGS you need a thicker skin than this. No, I'm not saying he was right to say it but it's one of those offhand comments he possibly regretted as soon as he said it. It's certainly not worth embarrassing the GP in front of all his colleagues for! It wasn't sexual harassment or god forbid, anything physical. If it's part of a pattern of behaviour or he says it again, that may be different. But not for one singular slip of the tongue.

LaughingCat · 31/12/2024 22:27

I would put in a complaint, if only to have it on his record. It’s an odd thing to say in a professional setting - and it is very sexual in certain contexts. Can completely understand how it could make you feel very uncomfortable.

surreygirl1987 · 31/12/2024 22:27

Gowlett · 31/12/2024 22:26

It would be a totally normal thing to say, where I live.

Ew.

surreygirl1987 · 31/12/2024 22:26

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:23

oh dear god - I call my neice sweetheart- I dont Call my CEO that by accident!

OP there are countless article about patronizing and infantalising language used for women in health care settings. It is why our pain and health isn’t taken as seriously as men

https://theconversation.com/thats-a-good-girl-how-women-are-infantilised-during-obstetric-care-and-labour-222926

I think your GP needs some education and his attitude needs brought forward about 50 years!

Edited

Yep this. I couldn't believe how I was treated in pregnancy and just after having given birth. I went from a respected professional woman with a PhD and a voice to being treated like a little girl who knew nothing. I was SO patronised. Repeatedly, by multiple HCPs.

Actually, maybe you should complain- I guess nothing will change otherwise.

PinkLionFind · 31/12/2024 22:26

lolit · 31/12/2024 21:53

I was in a vulnerable position and taken aback.

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I agree it’s infantilising and you are in a weaker position as a patient.

Complaining won’t do anything, I would ask to see a different doctor next time.

if a man says it again just say I’m a grown woman , I don’t expect to be called a girl. That’s all you have to say.

Gowlett · 31/12/2024 22:26

It would be a totally normal thing to say, where I live.

Aduvetday · 31/12/2024 22:25

Yeah it’s disgusting. People on here are so naive and willing to excuse male weirdness. Guess they haven’t had the privilege of their GP going to prison for abuse fo female patients. 100% report.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:25

user964 · 31/12/2024 22:19

Some older people men and women call each other that all the time, it's how they talk.

Men call each other good boy?? I have only heard a man call a dog or a very small child good boy! Certainly never in a professional setting (and I work in a male dominated environment).

surreygirl1987 · 31/12/2024 22:25

2025willbemytime · 31/12/2024 21:38

Too late but you should have said I'm a woman, please don't patronise me.

Yeh, I probably wouldn't complain but I agree that's poor, and I probably would have said something at the time. What a dick.

Oioisavaloy27 · 31/12/2024 22:25

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:16

I was made to feel very uncomfortable in a moment when I should have been put at ease (during an examination)

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You keep saying you were in a vulnerable position which part of your body or where was he examining?

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:23

oh dear god - I call my neice sweetheart- I dont Call my CEO that by accident!

OP there are countless article about patronizing and infantalising language used for women in health care settings. It is why our pain and health isn’t taken as seriously as men

https://theconversation.com/thats-a-good-girl-how-women-are-infantilised-during-obstetric-care-and-labour-222926

I think your GP needs some education and his attitude needs brought forward about 50 years!

“That’s a good girl”: how women are infantilised during obstetric care and labour

From patronising language to non-consensual surgical interventions, the mistreatment of women during childbirth is common – so why do so few women complain?

https://theconversation.com/thats-a-good-girl-how-women-are-infantilised-during-obstetric-care-and-labour-222926

Nerdlings · 31/12/2024 22:22

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:16

I was made to feel very uncomfortable in a moment when I should have been put at ease (during an examination)

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I’m guessing this was during an intimate examination?

Original poster

lolit · 31/12/2024 22:22

FoxInTheForest · 31/12/2024 22:21

He probably has a daughter or granddaughter and it slipped out as a commonly said phrase.

If he calls their daughter and grandaughter that in the same tone as he called me, that's even more creepy...

OP posts:

pinkstripeycat · 31/12/2024 22:21

I’ve been called a good girl by nurses younger than me for having “good veins.” I’m 52 😂

FoxInTheForest · 31/12/2024 22:21

He probably has a daughter or granddaughter and it slipped out as a commonly said phrase.

user964 · 31/12/2024 22:19

Some older people men and women call each other that all the time, it's how they talk.

Julen7 · 31/12/2024 22:19

thegirlwithemousyhair · 31/12/2024 22:07

GPs often say stuff in an effort to put people at ease. Its not meant to patronise or insult a patient.

If thats all youve got to worry about after a visit to the GP, consider yourself lucky.

Edited

Yeah my dentist often says it to me, it’s just meant to reassure.

BringMeTea · 31/12/2024 22:19

Do report him. Creepy af.

Bellyblueboy · 31/12/2024 22:16

JMSA · 31/12/2024 22:13

If offended or annoyed, you should have said something at the time.
But, for the love of God, don't put in a complaint.

oh heavens no - don’t complain about a sexist GP. Let him get on with treating g women like either sexual objects or second class citizens!

don’t make a fuss, that poor man probably has a wife and kids at home to support. He has to put up with women in the workplace all day. With their nonsense! Women shouldn’t have been given the vote - that’s when all this madness started!