To complain about a GP calling me this?

And of course the same things went on in the 20th century - but was then called a "problem of promiscuous young girls" rather than a rape gang crisis. So I suppose we have made some progress.

Quite. You are stating the obvious. Nonetheless I defend my right to be outraged with regard to the rape gang crisis continually since it was exposed.

There isn't any new rape gang crisis. Just Elon Musk raising a two year old report to get at the Labour government.

Maybe when Drs are replaced with robots and they give stock replies you will be content. I couldn’t get worked up over this. Saving my energy to be outraged with rape gang crisis.

BobbyBiscuits · 31/12/2024 22:32

"I have never heard a medical professional saying that. It's so patronising and sexist. Imagine him saying 'good boy' to a grown adult man. It simply would not happen.
I think it's totally reasonable to say to the manager by email that isn't an appropriate phrase and that they could do with some equalities training. The practice manager needs to know and so does the doctor who said it. It's bad form and unprofessional."

Agree with this. You can complain politely.

It's very odd and inappropriate. I work in healthcare and I would be really shocked to hear a colleague use those words, especially in that situation. I'd raise it myself if I heard it.

This is person will be an educated professional, absolutely they should know not to be calling someone good girl during an examination. It's inappropriate and unprofessional at best.

It was odd and inappropriate but the time to say something was at the time. I think written complaints are for major issues, minor ones you deal with at the time. I'm a GP and have some male patients call me love darling or dear which I find patronising and inappropriate and I tell them this at the time. They don't say that to male GPs in the way that this GP probably wouldn't say "good boy" to a male patient. He'd maybe had a surgery of listening to children's chests though and said it as a reflex not fully engaging his brain.

I fear you will not cope well in a real crisis!

If you don’t say anything at the time then sadly I think you’ll simply come across as a bit mad.

But I do feel it is a hideous phrase and I feel the rage every time I see the advert for Carolina Herrera’s Good Girl eau de parfum.

Of course not; making fun of foreign names, though ...

I dunno, maybe there a lot of naive mumsnetters, or maybe I've spent too long on the internet, but it definitely has an uncomfortable, pornified feel to be me. But it could have been entirely innocent I guess, the problem remains that the OP was made to feel uncomfortable at a vulnerable moment- wouldn't any decent doctor want to be aware of that, so they could avoid it in future?

That's dreadful.

My point is that some people are ‘looking for things’ to complain about. With the state of the world as it is I would hope people felt there were bigger issues to be upset about.
as an aside, ear syringing is quite risky and at one stage was the biggest thing practice nurses were being sued for hence why it is no longer carried out in most practices, so not quite the simple remedy for deafness it is thought to be.
the patient who complained was not advocating for anyone, just looking for something to be unhappy about which seems to be a common pastime nowadays!

May I assume then that all of the GPs at your practice would laugh off being called: darlin, luvvy, mate or generally being patronised

Consultant, and that really isn’t something I’d think twice about. I’ve been called a fucking bitch this morning already (by a patient who hasn’t turned up for any of his transplant work up investigations over the past six months, and so isn’t on the transplant waiting list).

May I assume then that all of the GPs at your practice would laugh off being called: darlin, luvvy, mate or generally being patronised? I can imagine how a lady GP would feel if my DH were to say "thank you girly". I suspect not and respect should always be mutual. It also extends to being on time or when a GP is running unavoidably late that they apologise especially if they refused to see a patient who has been unavoidably delayed.

Patients should be able to get an ear syringe appointment within six weeks - it's miserable to be unable to hear. Perhaps yiur patient was collecting data about an unacceptable situation on behalf of all those who won't advocate for themselves. In any event many GPs no longer provide ear syringing - one had to pay for it elsewhere. I've no objection to that as it's timely and the staff are more polite. But what do the poor do? I'd have thought a simple remedy for deafness was exactly what the NHS was founded for.

I’m all for appropriate complaints but having worked in General Practice for many years have seen some absolutely ridiculous complaints that still take many hours to deal with. One example I remember was a patient complaining he couldn’t get an appointment for an ear syringe for 6 weeks, turns out he didn’t even want to book an appointment he just wanted to make a point. Trying to offer safe effective healthcare is hard enough without having to worry about people being offended over minutiae that most people would laugh off

Is it really racism to merely comment on something pertaining to another race?

I’m completely with you, that’s sickening it’s not something that needs to be said to someone in any situation at all I think it’s inappropriate especially while being examined. It made me uncomfortable just reading it I’d report him too🤢

You see, as I have an unusual first name and last name, both very English, I find comments like that from HCPs unnecessary and rude. If a patient said that to a Nigerian, Sri Lankan or East Asian HCP they'd be accused of racism.

I have had such comme ts since I was a little girl when my surname was Forrin as well as unusual and comments about one's name become incredibly boring as well as rude.

Perhaps complaints would be minimised if all GPs were respectful. If all reception staff were polite and if the operational stuff such as prescriptions, etc., were better handled and managed.

Complaints are the equivalent of free market research.

Interestingly, I moved GP about 18 months ago because Ingot sick and tired of a practice that was inefficient and appeared to have a toxic attitude to patients. The difference between the old and new is incredible and I think it comes from the ethos of the GP partners.

If this had been me I'd have laughed and said oh thank you I feel young again.. Not been a girl for years haha..
I went to see a new Dr we've got and I walked through the door he went Mrs, my first name middle name and last name.
He went that's a mouth full. I went well just call me by my first name then. Haha..

Have you any idea how much GP practice time is taken up by dealing with complaints? GP practices now often employ a complaints manager as it is so time consuming.
now don’t get me wrong some complaints are perfectly acceptable but complaining about this is petty! Yes give some feedback if you want but an official complaint takes clinicians away from clinical care and let’s be honest we are all complaining we can’t get an appointment currently

I love your misguided certainty about this appalling situation. 🤨

Yes, we know there’s supposed to be a chaperone but I’m in my 50’s and have had several gynae examinations with no chaperone present, so it doesn’t always happen. The last time was a couple of years ago with a consultant in his 50’s.

I was more bothered about the issue requiring the examination than being alone with a man performing a very intimate examination but realised afterwards that it shouldn’t have happened so I’ve always ensured they are done with a chaperone present since then.

In my view the OP should complain, regardless of what sort of examination it was. Women are often treated dismissively by some HCP’s and that needs to change for the benefit of all women.

If it was any kind of intimate examination there is usually a female member of staff called in to chaperone to protect both the patient, but also the doctor. Did this not happen? My inference is that the examination was one of an intimate nature - perhaps in future you should insist there is a female member of staff present. My gynae always has the nurse present when I'm examined - and whenever I've been to the breast clinic the same. I'd be more concerned about the fact this (seemingly) didn't happen rather than being called "good girl" in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable.

There would have been a chaperone if it was a vaginal examination. The OP said she felt vulnerable, not that it was an intimate examination. This is why I have the impression that she was being a bit precious. I’m not suggesting she shouldn’t have offered feedback/irritation on the comment, but it should have happened at the time. It’s not a big enough deal for a formal complaint. What does a non sexual comment being made ‘in a sexual manner’ in the absence of a sexual/abusive situation even mean?