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Original poster

Who is living life the right way?

504 replies

flowergirl24 · 31/12/2024 14:34

Sister A and Sister B met up over the Christmas period. Their lives have gone in different directions and they are both late 30s. They both have 3 DC.

Sister A works 60 hours a week in a stressful job. She manages to take the children swimming at the weekends but they don’t do activities after school during the week. She has invested money in rental houses, and is concentrating on being able to have a better quality of life in the future.

Sister B works 8-10 hours a week. She has ponies and the children enjoy riding after school. She is not focused on a career at all, but does a lot of driving the children to after school activities. Sister B has expensive cars and is living for today, with no concern for the future.

Who is doing life right?

OP posts:
dynamiccactus · 31/12/2024 16:17

NImumconfused · 31/12/2024 14:37

I would suggest there's a happy medium between those two quite extreme viewpoints?

Me too.

Working 60 hours a week is crazy and bad for your health.

Having expensive cars is bad for the wallet and the climate.

Snowballsarelush · 31/12/2024 16:16

@flowergirl24 why the ridiculous competition?

It's a bit pathetic really. Everyone makes the choices they need to.

I would suggest you spend a bit less time comparing your life and making it a competition.

MildredSauce · 31/12/2024 16:15

Tristar15 · 31/12/2024 16:11

Sister B will be in for a very nasty shock if husband leaves her, she has no security, no independent income. I’d rather be sister A and know that I could manage on my own if I needed to.

We dont know that for sure. Another reason I'm convinced the op is Sister A is the sneering about B relying on her DHs money. But if they are in a happy partnership with managed options, then so fucking what.

RedLeicesterRedLeicester · 31/12/2024 16:15

Compared to me & my sister these lives sound pretty similar

Saltedcaramelfudge · 31/12/2024 16:15

A's life sounds miserable as fuck.

BarbaraHoward · 31/12/2024 16:15

There is no right or wrong way. Presumably they're both happy with their choices, and their choices are so different I doubt either is jealous of the other. Judgey, yes.

Personally neither would be right for me - I have more time with my kids than A and more financial security than B. So... Me! I'm living life the right way. Grin

sandyhappypeople · 31/12/2024 16:14

flowergirl24 · 31/12/2024 14:44

Sister B’s lifestyle is funded by her DH. He works full time.

Show quote history

you're comparing apples and oranges...

CharSiu · 31/12/2024 16:14

In a decade or two you will see how those offspring turn out.

Overall though some genetics will always play out somewhat, silk purse out of a sows ear type stuff.

It also depends on what happens in their marriages. Only they know that. All it takes is for an affair or a falling out of love and kids worlds are turned upside down in divorce or they stay together miserable and again that’s bad.

So which sister are you or are you sister C enjoying it from the sidelines?

101Nutella · 31/12/2024 16:14

Sister B I’d say coz she has more hours with her children. Given they are married as she gives her time raising children, I don’t see it as ‘getting her lifestyle funded’. It’s a partnership with her DH and both have different roles and responsibilities.

kids live in the moment and want your undivided attention really so I don’t think portfolio of investments makes up for that. They remember how you made them feel and whether you showed up for them.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 31/12/2024 16:13

Neither lifestyle sounds perfect but if both families are happy that's all that matters.

A sounds like she needs a bit more work life balance if she can afford it.

Cakeandcardio · 31/12/2024 16:11

fanaticalfairy · 31/12/2024 14:37

Neither.

Sister A isn't spending good time with her kids. She's at work too long.

Sister B isn't spending good time with her kids. She keeps palming them off to others.

Kids don't need endless activities, or a parent with loads of money

They need their parents. They need them to be around, pottering around the house, watching TV with them, doing the hoovering round their Lego, chatting nonsense about my little pony whilst peeling potatoes, reading to them...

Edited

100% agree

Tristar15 · 31/12/2024 16:11

Sister B will be in for a very nasty shock if husband leaves her, she has no security, no independent income. I’d rather be sister A and know that I could manage on my own if I needed to.

BusyPoster · 31/12/2024 16:10

How do you B isn’t thinking of the future, she could have masses of equity in her home?

80s · 31/12/2024 16:10

Sister C, Cinderella.

YiayiaP · 31/12/2024 16:10

MildredSauce · 31/12/2024 15:30

That sounds like the plot of a Hallmark movie....

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I think I maybe watched one too many this Christmas 🤣

CandyCane457 · 31/12/2024 16:08

Silly question. As long as they’re both happy with their lives, why does there have to be a right and wrong? You can’t compare peoples lives in this way.

handsdownthebest · 31/12/2024 16:07

Not into ponies but love owning several properties and also love big posh cars and working hard for it and the kids not doing too bad either so I guess I’m in team A

Mnetcurious · 31/12/2024 16:06

Neither! Overall B sounds more like the kind of lifestyle I’d prefer but rather than waste money on expensive cars like her I’d put some away/invest.

Didntseeyouthere · 31/12/2024 16:05

bunnypenny · 31/12/2024 14:39

I wasn’t aware that there was only one way to live life the right way.

and that there are only 2 ways to live

Shit, best get a move on then! I'm kind of in the middle, or I was was, my DC are older now

BusyPoster · 31/12/2024 16:04

I was sister B without the ponies but with sister A’s rental properties and I wouldn’t go back in time and change it.

lightsandtunnels · 31/12/2024 16:03

I think it is silly to compare the two. Neither is 'doing it' right or wrong.

Your life is a product of the choices you make and what your priorities are. As long as they are both happy - who cares?

NiftyKoala · 31/12/2024 16:03

The one living the right way is the one who didn't write this ...

Anonym00se · 31/12/2024 16:02

I was Sister A, but would have loved to have been Sister B. I had no choice but to work long hours as a single parent. It was tough on the DCs at the time, but when I ask them if they feel they missed out they say they didn’t. We still did fun stuff, but only on the weekends.

On the flip side, I was able to retire early, and give all the DCs a 25% house deposit. We have lovely holidays together, though they’re the ones working the long hours now.

latetothefisting · 31/12/2024 16:02

which one (and which one's family) is happier? That's who is 'doing life right;'
If they're both happy with their circumstances then they both are doing life right, if they aren't then neither of them.

yes you could go into the 'what ifs' - what if Sister A dropped down dead with lots of savings but minimal family memories, what if Sister B's husband left her, meaning she would struggle for money in her older years - but most people try and tread the line of making sensible precautions for the future while living in the present.

Frith2013 · 31/12/2024 16:02

But what are YOU doing with your life, OP?

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