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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

329 replies

Jumell · 31/12/2024 13:38

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 20:05

When giving the OP advice about an over friendly colleague/neighbour - use the most generic 1950s names imaginable …

Look, Barbara/Brenda/Susan/Sandra/Caroline
/Linda, it’s very kind of you to bring 5 Tupperware boxes full of your homemade mince pies to us, but we’re all on diets/ glucose intolerant here so … I’m sure your own family would appreciate them more ..

OP posts:
CulturalNomad · 31/12/2024 20:04

Never darken A&E's door without first consulting mumsnet. Just to be sure you're not wasting anyone's time. Broken leg with bone protruding? Be told No, that's not an emergency, can't you wait until Monday to see your GP, or visit a pharmacist?

Not only is that broken leg not an emergency, you've almost certainly brought it upon yourself. "May I ask what your BMI is? If it's over 24 then of course your leg simply snapped under the sheer weight of you. It's people like you that have caused the NHS to be in this state."

JHound · 31/12/2024 20:00

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 19:54

Apparently they’re filthy and shouldn’t be allowed through the door, yet some MNers reckon they put them in the dishwasher. Go figure.

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Gross!

BruceAndNosh · 31/12/2024 19:59

I'm going to take up a hobby that I can't disclose as it's too outing

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:58

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 19:54

Apparently they’re filthy and shouldn’t be allowed through the door, yet some MNers reckon they put them in the dishwasher. Go figure.

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Oh my word !!!! 😮

OP posts:
JMSA · 31/12/2024 19:54

Oh and OP, if there's a less than perfect man in your life, don't forget to LTB Grin

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 19:54

JHound · 31/12/2024 19:51

I am still so confused as to what the story is with toilet brushes!

Apparently they’re filthy and shouldn’t be allowed through the door, yet some MNers reckon they put them in the dishwasher. Go figure.

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:53

JHound · 31/12/2024 19:51

I am still so confused as to what the story is with toilet brushes!

Regarded generally on MN as completely unnecessary household item and one that causes more problems than solves

OP posts:
JHound · 31/12/2024 19:51

I am still so confused as to what the story is with toilet brushes!

CulturalNomad · 31/12/2024 19:51

Feign ignorance about any term or phrase you perceive as being "foreign".

" Pre-School? Whatever is that? We don't have that here. Can't imagine what you could possibly be referring to; you've completely lost me. Before the existence of modern schooling perhaps? Are you....American? You do know this is a UK forum, do you not?"

This must be done while channeling your best Violet Crawley..."What is a weekend?"

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:51

Bulkypeepants · 31/12/2024 19:47

Make sure you have a CF friend, CF neighbour, CF MIL, CF co-worker and CF school run mum to provide sheer entertainment for us all

🤣

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 19:50

Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:45

Don’t expect any grandparent childcare

they’ve raised their family , DONCHA KNOW!

Or if they want to be involved with your little family, shun them because “they’ve had their turn”. And you’re allowed “boundaries” but they’re not entitled to any.

Bulkypeepants · 31/12/2024 19:47

Make sure you have a CF friend, CF neighbour, CF MIL, CF co-worker and CF school run mum to provide sheer entertainment for us all

JHound · 31/12/2024 19:47

Jumell · 31/12/2024 17:53

Reform /Brexit voters should be permanently SHUNNED

I already do that with Reform voters so no change there!

This surprises me as I would assume Reform is more popular with MNetters!

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:45

Don’t expect any grandparent childcare

they’ve raised their family , DONCHA KNOW!

OP posts:
SpringIscomingalso · 31/12/2024 19:45

I thought friendship groups are the bees knees for mumsnetters and their girls drinks
Also they are very very NT
Also the majority live in terraces

notcopingwellwithDMdementia · 31/12/2024 19:44

I'm shocked to see that no one has said yet that they are going to cancel the cheque.......

chippytea33 · 31/12/2024 19:44

You'll also need to LTB.

SquawkerTexasRanger · 31/12/2024 19:43

Be an avid reader who devours books

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:41

Liberal and be very vocal about anyone making snide remarks about working class people.

But if your 20 year old child announces they’re going to live on a council estate - be like

Hell GIF by Steve Harvey TV
OP posts:
FrowntonAbbey · 31/12/2024 19:39

Allthenameshavegone1972 · 31/12/2024 18:11

Make sure you live 5 hours drive from any family or close friends

Ab yes, very rural. In other words no Lidl for 10 miles. But you absolutely must not drive. You must be the public transport martyr and take 6 buses and 5 trains and then walk 8.7 miles uphill every time you need a pint of milk.

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:38

FrowntonAbbey · 31/12/2024 19:36

Answer every thread that starts “has anyone been to this hotel/bought something from this shop/worked for this company” etc etc with: “No, I haven’t”. Cheers for your useful contribution, not, Brenda!

Also, when someone posts about something a famous person has done (got married, had a baby, died, etc) post a reply “who is this person?” Because you think it makes you look cool and edgy that you don’t watch Eastenders or listen to commercial radio and don’t know who these people are. But you spend all day on MN. Sure, Jan.

Loving the Brenda and the Sure, Jan!

OP posts:
FrowntonAbbey · 31/12/2024 19:36

Answer every thread that starts “has anyone been to this hotel/bought something from this shop/worked for this company” etc etc with: “No, I haven’t”. Cheers for your useful contribution, not, Brenda!

Also, when someone posts about something a famous person has done (got married, had a baby, died, etc) post a reply “who is this person?” Because you think it makes you look cool and edgy that you don’t watch Eastenders or listen to commercial radio and don’t know who these people are. But you spend all day on MN. Sure, Jan.

TipsyAndObscure · 31/12/2024 19:35

Let's not forget to theme everything.
Only real mumsnetters can do this.

Themed parties, both children's and adults
Themed Christmas decorations
Themed night out
Etc
Etc

Original poster
Jumell · 31/12/2024 19:33

ImWearingPantaloons · 31/12/2024 19:29

With Real Butter

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I would certainly do this in an ideal world !

OP posts:
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