For being nervous about dating a someone in police ?

Is the same as all male teachers are paedophiles? I see a lot of this in my line of work, however would never generalise like you have.

I mean you are judging him, you cant say aren't. You are perfectly entitled to of course.

Does come across a bit that you are looking at his past and seeing him as "damaged goods" which isnt a particularly nice thing to do to someone.

I've been married to a police officer for 20 years, he is the best person on this planet!

I wouldn't go near anyone in the armed forces, construction workers, warehouse workers, bankers, politicians, plumbers or electricians. Misogynists, the lot of them! Worst men I've ever met worked in these fields, wouldn't touch a brickie in a month of Sundays they're all on the cheat and are well known to be domestically abusive. Men in the financial industry are usually financially abusive, too much caring about money and not their wife/partner.

Trust your instincts, if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.

Regarding being a Police officer, I am shocked at the sweeping statements and generalisation. I have been with an officer for 17 years. He is the most laid back, honest, kindest man I’ve met. He is the most amazing father and is the calmness in our relationship.
The abuse he receives from the public is outrageous and I don’t know another profession where you put your life on the line, just to receive constant abuse.

There's a lot to agree with, here. People tend to lay their stall out for a reason. Will you not expect to meet people or alternatively will you be fast tracked to meeting them because there's never been anyone like you, in a lovebomby kind of way.

Whichever it is, it feels like this guy and his issues will not be a fun, easy date for you. And you have a child to consider, right? I'd not engage.

I’m genuinely so shocked at the police officer hate. I’ve not felt this in rl like on MN

Married to a lovely police officer. Does the job to help and protect and puts up with a lot for v little pay. How are they all being put in one big ‘group hatred’ and how are they supposed to break away from that stigma?

You haven't met this guy and don't know him from Adam, he could be a party clown playing cops on the apps, a married man looking for sex/attention or a scammer stringing you along, yet here you are panicking about an 'avatar', and a story/person you have no idea is real or not.

Please take a step back from the dating apps, you sound very naive OP.

How patronising

What would worry me is that if he has had a really bad childhood and then joined the police, he might not be good at relationships. His mother would be a huge red flag, too.

I think I'd back out, tbh.

There are obviously good and bad people in all professions. But police officers were #1 on a recent-ish thread of professions MNers wouldn’t date. I know one police officer, lovely person and in the profession for all the right reasons but absolutely broken by the suicides and violence he’s witnessed.

A police officer who has been abused in childhood and shared this before even meeting is someone I’d avoid

I am sure not all police officers are bad people but they are 3x more than any other occupation in the UK to be perpetrators of domestic abuse. Given that and some of the other things you've mentioned I would perhaps not continue.

I'd never go near a man working in the police force or military.

I've known multiple men in these professions and all have ended up being troubled/violent/aggressive/misogynistic in one way or another.

I think it is hard to generalise about any profession. I would, however, question why he is oversharing so massively at such an early stage.

my concern is the over sharing to be honest not the career choice

You are not ' dating '
you haven't even met yet!!!

you may not like each other when you do meet !

how long have you spent chatting to each other ?
if it's more than a week - get on with it and meet !!!

personally i would stop wasting each others time !

No, I absolutely would not date a police officer.

His over sharing about his past is an even bigger issue though.

I would throw this one back.

Saying he's never introduced anyone to friends and family is setting you up to not question it. Chances are, he's married with kids and wants a nice little bit on the side. I doubt he's even a copper, just a complete fantasist. Your brain is pinging warning signals at you for a reason. Listen to them, shut him down and move on.

I do understand your point. Unlike the medical profession though there have been lots of reports and reviews that have proven a canteen culture of misogyny, racism and homophobia across police forces. There will be lots of decent and upstanding police officers but there is also something systemic.

I would stay well clear of this man though. Not necessarily because he is a police officer but because of everything he has disclosed before even meeting him.

@Lou9453 He’s never introduced anyone to his mum and keeps it quiet from friends, not been on holiday with gf or had anything long term.

All of this is true for me also, and many other people. Why do you think this is strange or noteworthy?

It's lovely to hear that so many of you know some lovely policemen. Can any of them do anything about the rife misogyny?

"someone in the police"-what role?can yu verify that??
makes n difference- is ALOT of personal details- very redflag.
Yu arent obliged t meet him,ALWYS trust your gut

Think there's 2 issues here for you;

Him (I've red flags waving at the description he's given you about himself - are you sure you need this in your life?)

Being in the police. Why is that an issue gor you? Lots of police officers date, often with each other (lots of affairs in police culture).

@TorroFerney sorry can you explain what you mean about him talking about the police being a red flag

I wouldn't worried about him being a police officer. But the over sharing before you have even met is a bit odd. If you are worried now then trust your gut and don't meet this guy.

Just to add, I'm married to a police officer and he's wonderful.

And you don't worry he's going to get a life threatening injury or die on the job?