For being nervous about dating a someone in police ?

A couple of family members are in the police force. They are good men and good husbands. However there are some dodgy blokes, the police rate of marital abuse is twice the national average.

Now worried about my daughter who wants to join the police 😳

That’s in America.

The specific stats I quoted do come from America as we don't have similar statistics here but this is one article -
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2015/9/10/1420117/-Police-officers-have-a-rate-of-domestic-violence-at-least-300-higher-than-active-players-in-the-NFL

There are also many many articles that discuss the state of violence in the UK. It's a problem because women won't report it particularly if they are in police because they know there's no point - can confirm from personal experience.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-perpetrated-domestic-abuse-victims-b2614374.html

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/police-super-complaints-force-response-to-police-perpetrated-domestic-abuse/police-perpetrated-domestic-abuse-report-on-the-centre-for-womens-justice-super-complaint#our-conclusion

@arethereanyleftatall
Could you confirm that the 40 % you reference was found in a study of British police officers.

I can Google too:

The claim that "40% of cops beat their wives" is often cited in discussions about domestic violence and law enforcement, but its origins are not well-documented, and it's important to note that it may not accurately represent the behavior of all police officers. This statistic may be based on various studies and reports conducted over the years, but it's crucial to consider the following points:
Lack of a Single Source: The statistic doesn't have a single, widely recognized source or study associated with it. It has been referenced in various contexts, but the specific study or studies it is based on are not always cited.
Variability in Studies: Research on domestic violence among police officers has produced varying results. Some studies have suggested higher rates of domestic violence within law enforcement families, while others have found rates similar to or lower than those in the general population.
Data Reliability: Research on sensitive topics like domestic violence can be challenging due to issues of underreporting, non-disclosure, and the difficulty of collecting accurate data. The reliability of the data can be affected by factors such as the willingness of individuals to disclose their experiences.
Timeframe: The statistic, if based on any particular study, may reflect data from a specific time period or region. Rates of domestic violence can change over time and may vary by location.
Need for Current Research: It's essential to rely on the most recent and well-conducted research when discussing statistics related to domestic violence among any group, including police officers. Newer studies may provide more accurate and up-to-date information.
To gain a better understanding of the prevalence of domestic violence among police officers, it's important to consult reliable and recent research on the topic. Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects individuals across various professions and backgrounds, and addressing it requires a comprehensive and evidence-based approach.

You aren't in the early dating stages. You are messaging someone who claims a lot of stuff that you don't know if it's true or not.
It's probably all bs.

His supposed career is not the issue here. He is.
You have noticed red flags so throw him back

@Marchweshall
You can just google this . I just did and this one was top of my search page. The whole first page was police officers.

Can you quote your source for this information please.

I wouldn’t have dated an estate agent.

I know two young officers, really nice lads, both sons of friends of mine, they don’t know each other and are in different forces.

Anyone doing shift work must have a struggle with their personal life, that’s to consider. It’s really his oversharing though that’s the main issue.

I’d date Stewart Copeland but not Sting.

Police are generally alcoholic and wife beaters. Run....

Just my opinion, but in my opinion, there’s enough of ~that~ kind of “the police”’within that big homogenous group you describe to have made them pretty unappealing to the public they’re meant to protect.

It must be frustrating for you and others like you but the problem is with the other colleagues of yours not with people lumping them all together. As a good police officer the onus is on you to set aside that defensiveness and not get frustrated with an entirely natural reaction from people imo.

DH is ex-police.
He's decent & kind hearted & all his colleagues I met were also decent, honest people although there are definitely quirky types in every team.

Some of his work did make him anxious when DC were small - I think it makes you realize how vulnerable we are to bad people & how many bad people there are out there.

He worked in response & then in neighborhood policing investigation teams which aren't the worst but the shift pattern in response was brutal & forced overtime, cancelled holidays etc.

Just a heads up though that alot of people claiming to be police online aren't & most police I know don't put it in their dating profile or date other police. Take it with a pinch of salt until you meet him.

No police, no bankers was always my dating policy.
The bankers rule was broken at times.

I definitely wouldn’t date someone with his past history though.

block him! Pay for a premium dating service not pof it's rank and go out and have a good time tonight.

Of course I do, and so does my daughter every time he goes to work. At the moment he loves his job. What would you recommend? He leaves for something 'safer' - teaching perhaps ?

I'm married to a lovely copper - been together 20 + years. I knew when I met him his intention of joining and it didn't put off. I sometimes have to actively avoid telling people what he does until I am sure of them because of the ACAB mentality that's rife on the UK at the minute.

His potential job obviously bothers you so maybe cut your losses.

I would never date a cop. Not a chance.

I wouldn't mind dating within the police, but that just sounds like a load of baggage I couldn't be bothered to deal with...

Sounds like he was, though.

Chatting to a randomer on the internet who shares so much personal stuff is not normal.

Chat should involve what you're both looking for (ONS/long term) their likes and dislikes and to work out if you fancy meeting them.

Anything much deeper is a huge red flag!

Don't waste anymore time on him OP. Delete and move on.

Also the fact they you originally said you are "early dating" suggests that you may be new to OLD.

Just remember a lot of these people are not who they say they are.

It's more the shifts, the after work drinking culture and them fucking their colleagues that you should be anxious about

It sounds like he's setting you up to accept being kept out of his real life ( no meeting his friends and family ) and only seeing him occasionally ( working wack shifts fighting crime ) l'd give him a miss - he sounds dodgy as fuck.

Yeah that's because he was awful person, not because he was a police officer...

You didn't date the entire force. It's not normal to strike off a whole career that includes hundreds of thousands of men as prospective partners because you knew a bad one.