Pregnant women contribute same £ to hen do

Why would it be a secret?

Just ask people if they will be drinking or not. They get to choose which category they'll be in.

OR, you only order communal foods. Everyone then brings what they will be drinking themselves. That's probably easier to manage if you're worried.

I think the pregnancy thing is a bit of a red herring. They're not getting special treatment because they're pregnant, just not paying for the booze because they won't drink it.

I think splitting the alcohol bill only between the drinkers is completely fair. I would make this clear to everyone just in case there is anyone else who doesn't want to drink, but hasn't said.

Kitty is optional but for the food/drinks in the house, I'd exclude them from the alcohol costs but included in the non alcoholic drinks.

There are no kitties for the night out, everyone just buys their own. The ONLY reason there might be joint drink buying on a night out is if people want to get a pitcher of something, and then those that will have drinks from the pitcher, agree to split the cost of the pitcher. Honestly my husband and quite a few friends drink, and even alcoholic drinks vary quite a lot in price, and the amount people drink varies. People who drink one or two cheap small acholic drinks, don't want to be funding those that have 5-6 large glasses of expensive alcohol, any more than non-drinkers want to be funding any alcohol.

I would wait and see what they plan on drinking. Mocktails and non alcoholic beer and wine are pretty much the same price as alcoholic versions. What non alcoholic drinks are you getting for them in the big shop?

Each of the 10 queues separately to buy one drink for themselves? That's not an efficient way to organise a drinking session.

Absolutely the right thing to do. Just split the cost of the supermarket alcohol between the non pregnant attendees - easy

I think you need to be absolutely open about this with everyone. I don't drink these days (stopped because of mounjaro, not alcoholism or pregnancy!) so would want to join the pregnant women group. I would use that as a way to message the group, there might be others who would opt not to drink for various reasons.

There doesn’t need to be a kitty if people pay for their own drinks.

I don’t like kittys, I would get my own drinks. In fact I would probably rather bring/buy my own booze rather than sharing as I think it is easier for each person to work out how much they need.

I don't drink for medical reasons even while not pregnant and no I don't want to be contributing to booze I'm not drinking. The others being booze hounds makes this more important as the booze bill will be higher and so everyone's share would be higher. It's really easy to do though - you just lump soft drinks in with the food and keep the booze bill separate, then you do three calculations

a) food + soft drinks divided by the number of attendees
b) booze divided by the number of drinkers

The drinkers total is a+b
The non drinkers total is a

Easy! And if you tried to charge me for booze I would tell you I needed to pay less on the day or when I received my bill!

We used to go away for the week of Hogmanay with friends and there were several years that someone or several someone's were pregnant.

We did separate splits for alcohol and food as one of our friends never drinks and the people who were pregnant shouldn't pay for the rest - annoying enough to be surrounded by tipsy people without paying for it lol

I think that's entirely fair and no one should have any issue with it. And yes - separate kitty for going out for sure, same reason.

I'd just make it clear in the message (assuming your friends have already announced their pregnancies):

"X & Y are pregnant and won't be drinking, so I've split the alcohol cost only between the people who will be drinking."

And yes, probably two kitties (or maybe X&Y just get their own).

Hard to see how people could get upset about others not subsidising their drinking unless they're CFs.

Would you be bothered if you found the alcohol bill had been split differently because two of the women were pregnant and wouldn't be drinking because i wouldn't.

Besides, you'll be buying less alcohol to reflect this.

I think there should be two kitties. One for the drinkers and one for the non-drinkers. Nobody drinks mocktails at the same rate as they drink cocktails anyway.

Totally. You can't have the pregnant ones chipping in for an umpteenth round of shots!

I’d do separate kitties. Maybe ask the pregnant women themselves how they want to play that one?
it’s really lovely you’re considering others 😊

It's hard to figure out what's fair in this scenario as obviously some people will eat more, some will drink more etc. Could you do a food and soft drink shop and everyone brings their own alcohol. I don't drink a lot so think I would prefer just to pay for what I drink.

Also presume you have a WhatsApp group about it, so you need to pre-warn people about your idea too so no surprises!

Just be aware that mocktails are pretty expensive too. I’m always mindful of not overcharging non-drinkers, but sometimes they need a heads up not to take the piss themselves!

Considering the booze bill is likely to be enormous, yes, you should split that bit between the drinkers only.

Alcohol split between whoever is drinking and everyone else pays a separate amount. Get some fancy non alcoholic drinks rather than just the usual coke / lemonade / juice etc and split that between the non drinkers.

Can the alcohol be calculated as a separate transaction which they don’t contribute towards?