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Original poster

"All my love" Am I reading too much into this?

87 replies

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:02

DH and I have had a rough year and at times our marriage has felt pretty loveless.

It was my birthday over the Christmas period. In my card he wrote

Dear Mickey
Happy birthday
All my love
DH xx

To me this is pretty cold? He rarely tells me he loves me but I'm sure used to write "I love you" in cards.

Does if seem cold to others? Or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
ThisMellowCat · 31/12/2024 09:40

You’d hate a card from me me then
i write
to DH
love from
me

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2024 09:38

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:26

Interesting. Ok. I've got it wrong. He always writes "I love you"/uses my nickname/says something silly - so to me the card seemed cold. I always write "all my love" to family members or friends. But I can see I'm reading too much into it as feel the relationship is in such a bad state anyway. I'll forget the card! Thanks.

Well you may indeed be correct and he isn’t really feeling it at the moment. So maybe forget about the card and focus on the relationship?

Do you want it to survive and improve? What could help with that?

You don’t need to answer but things to think about.

JustMyView13 · 31/12/2024 09:31

I think the problem with modern day society, is that the increase in written communication (online messaging), and that people are reading too much into the words.
I’ve also noticed if someone can be offended or read something in a negative way, they go for that as the default.

The words themselves say ‘all my love’. Take them at face value.

BarbaraHoward · 31/12/2024 09:27

I don't think it reads cold at all, but I do think it's absolutely crackers to read so much into a brief message in a card from your husband that you live with and have umpteen brief interactions with every single day.

TorroFerney · 31/12/2024 09:27

mynameiscalypso · 31/12/2024 09:05

That's exactly what I wrote in DH's birthday card. I always write 'All my love' to him because it seems more special to me. I wouldn't write it to anyone else.

Snap, for me all my love is above saying love from. But if your marriage is ok it wouldn’t matter I don’t think.

my mum put „from“ in her card to me her daughter and son in law. That’s quite cold isn’t it. No love or kiss and no separate card for her only grandchild.

Original poster
Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:26

Interesting. Ok. I've got it wrong. He always writes "I love you"/uses my nickname/says something silly - so to me the card seemed cold. I always write "all my love" to family members or friends. But I can see I'm reading too much into it as feel the relationship is in such a bad state anyway. I'll forget the card! Thanks.

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 31/12/2024 09:26

There's some weird posters on here!
I'm in the all my love is a really good comment camp.

pictoosh · 31/12/2024 09:22

'All my love' is meaningful.

Cluelesssanta · 31/12/2024 09:22

You are really trying hard to pick fault here. I think it's lovely.

NewNameNoelle · 31/12/2024 09:20

My DH uses all my love in my cards. He’s giving me / sending me all his love, it’s warm and loving in our house.

I could never imagine sending ‘all my love’ to a departing work colleague 😆

Arlanymor · 31/12/2024 09:19

‘All my love’ is my sign off for the people in my life who have all of my love, it’s the biggest expression of feeling for them that it’s possible to have.

BallerinaRadio · 31/12/2024 09:18

Do you want a sonata writing extolling all your virtues? It sounds like you have problems but this definitely isn't one of them, pick your battles and give him a break this is fine in a card

Eldermillennial2024 · 31/12/2024 09:17

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Really? 🤔

Owly11 · 31/12/2024 09:17

Seems normal to me.

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 09:16

Cannotthinkofausername09876 · 31/12/2024 09:11

For me I would think of it as a reference to the lyrics of ‘all my love’ by Coldplay, in which case it would be very romantic and not cold at all. I suppose it depends on the context. Maybe listen to that song and see how you feel about it!

'All my love' predates Coldplay.

GinaDreamsofRunningAway · 31/12/2024 09:15

I love my DH and he loves me but we never write ‘I love you’ in cards to each other. We always put ‘all my love’ or I tend to put ‘all my
love, as always’

I think you are overthinking this.

desperatedaysareover · 31/12/2024 09:15

Not cold. Probably it’s coming out of the fact you’ve had a bad year, so it’s not ‘over-thinking’ as such, because your concerns he doesn’t feel the same way might be well-founded. Just not regarding his specific choice of words in this particular card. Cards are a minefield when you’re not getting on too well; I know some years I have struggled to find a card for my DH that doesn’t sound like sarcasm 😂

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2024 09:13

I love you and All my love are pretty interchangeable. DH usually puts all my love and I accept that at face value. He’s not one for expressing his love verbally but does it every day in his actions.

Cold sign offs from a spouse:
Yours faithfully
Yours sincerely
Kind regards
Best wishes
I remain your faithful servant ( actually wouldn’t mind this!)

theduchessofspork · 31/12/2024 09:13

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Do you?! Why would you give your colleagues all your love?!

Anyway it’s a bit formal OP - the Dear more than the All my love is what struck me - but I don’t think it’s cold.

Cannotthinkofausername09876 · 31/12/2024 09:11

For me I would think of it as a reference to the lyrics of ‘all my love’ by Coldplay, in which case it would be very romantic and not cold at all. I suppose it depends on the context. Maybe listen to that song and see how you feel about it!

NeddieSeagoonsSteamPoweredTelephone · 31/12/2024 09:11

DH is the only person who gets ‘all my love’. Makes sense to me that I love him more than anyone else. Whoever is writing it on leaving cards - stop it. It’s weird.

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 09:11

'All my love' is considered cold? Why?

Dinosweetpea · 31/12/2024 09:11

All my love is completely normal, I never write I love you in my DH card.

DorianMeile · 31/12/2024 09:10

winefortea · 31/12/2024 09:07

Is this sarcastic? I'd find it a bit odd if a colleague wrote that in my leaving card tbh! I'd only wrote that in a card to immediate family. I don't think it's cold at all!

Show quote history

I think it's an attempt at sarcasm.

OP I think 'all my love' is warmer than 'I love you'.

amiold · 31/12/2024 09:10

Also I have a book I write a page in for my son on special occasions, like birthdays, Christmas, milestones, Christmas etc. just a bit about the day and what I enjoyed about the day. (Sort of if anything was to happen to me he'd have a small memory of how much joy he brought me and the nice times we enjoyed together). Anyways, I always sign it off "all my love, mammy xxx"

I think it's like the "most" love. Different interpretations obviously.

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