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Original poster

"All my love" Am I reading too much into this?

87 replies

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:02

DH and I have had a rough year and at times our marriage has felt pretty loveless.

It was my birthday over the Christmas period. In my card he wrote

Dear Mickey
Happy birthday
All my love
DH xx

To me this is pretty cold? He rarely tells me he loves me but I'm sure used to write "I love you" in cards.

Does if seem cold to others? Or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
Wonderi · 31/12/2024 10:54

Gently, if this is how you react to getting a card, it’s no wonder your marriage is having problems.

If you want to salvage this relationship, then you have to stop with this.

For me, if I was DH this would probably be the straw that broke the camels back (hate that saying) but I would be done with the relationship after this.

He got you a card.
That means something.
He could have chosen to not get you one.
Stop looking for problems.

I assume you both want to salvage the relationship.
Have you tried couples therapy?

Clafoutie · 31/12/2024 10:49

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

🤔

AngelinaFibres · 31/12/2024 10:48

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 31/12/2024 10:32

It’s ALL of his love. Which is as much as he could ever give. Really warm.

This. Its short for 'I'm giving....all my love.....to you'. How is that cold

5128gap · 31/12/2024 10:47

I thought you were going to be complaining that he'd written this to someone else. I put this sometimes and one of my DC (age about ten at the time) once asked me after seeing it in their brother's birthday card if their brother was getting ALL my love, was there any left for them.

AngelinaFibres · 31/12/2024 10:46

I knew my first marriage was in its terminal phase when my husband wrote 'warmest regards from " in my card.All my love is perfect between couples

LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 31/12/2024 10:42

Depends what he would normally write in cards to you doesn’t it. Context is everything.

stripeystripedstripes · 31/12/2024 10:41

I would and have written this to my DH. On what planet is it cold? ‘Best wishes’ would be cold!

Zae134 · 31/12/2024 10:39

Samesame47 · 31/12/2024 09:49

I sign all cards to my DH and with all my love, our children get all our love. Very close family get lots of love. All my/our love ranks highest in my book.

I've just realised I have the same system, but I've been doing it unconsciously and I didn't realise I HAD a system until your post 🤔😂

healthybychristmas · 31/12/2024 10:39

Cold would be what was written in my card after I had dumped my ex. He just wrote his name, nothing else! The card was blank too so it was just an empty page with his name on!

PantherchameleonsocksforChristmas · 31/12/2024 10:37

You're definitely overthinking it. I always put 'all my love' in my DH's cards. I wouldn't put that to anyone else, except to our son. Mind you, I also know he wouldn't even think twice if I just put 'best wishes' or something like that😆

Diomi · 31/12/2024 10:34

‘All my love’ seems very nice to me. I would only write that to immediate family as I save it for people I really do love.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 31/12/2024 10:32

It’s ALL of his love. Which is as much as he could ever give. Really warm.

Nothatgingerpirate · 31/12/2024 10:30

My husband of 20 years has been using this phrase ever since.
Marriage with virtually no problems.
Any other trouble in life, OP?
😁

luckylavender · 31/12/2024 10:30

NeddieSeagoonsSteamPoweredTelephone · 31/12/2024 09:11

DH is the only person who gets ‘all my love’. Makes sense to me that I love him more than anyone else. Whoever is writing it on leaving cards - stop it. It’s weird.

Exactly

luckylavender · 31/12/2024 10:29

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Really? That is odd. I find people who sign All my love out of romantic relationships very odd.

Balancedcitizen101 · 31/12/2024 10:27

Most people seem to think the message is ok so I don't want to worry you either. Personally me and partner put quite a few lines about the year or about each other, it takes a bit to think of it all to put in each one. So this from either of us would be really cold/low effort but if that is how you do it then fair enough. I'm not having a go. Most people think it's ok so it's probably ok.

Ladybyrd · 31/12/2024 10:18

No, it's fine.

arcticpandas · 31/12/2024 10:16

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:26

Interesting. Ok. I've got it wrong. He always writes "I love you"/uses my nickname/says something silly - so to me the card seemed cold. I always write "all my love" to family members or friends. But I can see I'm reading too much into it as feel the relationship is in such a bad state anyway. I'll forget the card! Thanks.

I would be surprised if a friend wrote all my love tbh. Love yes, but all my Love is for my DH and children... so be happy OP, you got all his Love.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 31/12/2024 10:15

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:02

DH and I have had a rough year and at times our marriage has felt pretty loveless.

It was my birthday over the Christmas period. In my card he wrote

Dear Mickey
Happy birthday
All my love
DH xx

To me this is pretty cold? He rarely tells me he loves me but I'm sure used to write "I love you" in cards.

Does if seem cold to others? Or am I overthinking it?

If you're going through a rough patch, and at times it has been loveless this year, he is just writing how he feels now. It would be fake if he said 'I love you' if there is resentment under the surface. Couples have their ups and downs. Hopefully things will improve between you.

Morporkia · 31/12/2024 10:14

"All the best" would have been much worse...

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 10:12

All my love has been written in every card I’ve received from my bloke for 26 years. It’s a lot better than I love you to the moon and back 🤮

Cannotthinkofausername09876 · 31/12/2024 10:05

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 09:16

'All my love' predates Coldplay.

Show quote history

I am aware of that, yes.

Cynic17 · 31/12/2024 10:01

It sounds lovely - not cold at all.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 31/12/2024 09:56

DorianMeile · 31/12/2024 09:10

I think it's an attempt at sarcasm.

OP I think 'all my love' is warmer than 'I love you'.

Show quote history

Or, you know, humour?

Sure there used to be more of that on MN...

Samesame47 · 31/12/2024 09:49

I sign all cards to my DH and with all my love, our children get all our love. Very close family get lots of love. All my/our love ranks highest in my book.

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