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Original poster

"All my love" Am I reading too much into this?

87 replies

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:02

DH and I have had a rough year and at times our marriage has felt pretty loveless.

It was my birthday over the Christmas period. In my card he wrote

Dear Mickey
Happy birthday
All my love
DH xx

To me this is pretty cold? He rarely tells me he loves me but I'm sure used to write "I love you" in cards.

Does if seem cold to others? Or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
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MidnightEagle · 07/01/2025 22:47

I write this on every card to my DH!

goodkidsmaadhouse · 06/01/2025 00:30

That message would have been cold from my DH. He always writes loads in cards to me so something that brief - yeah, I would’ve found it cold.

Awittyandclevername · 06/01/2025 00:06

If you have been going through a rough time maybe it’s the opposite of what you think. He might have felt that was a bit more expressive? Men probably wouldn’t think about this sort of stuff in the same way as women do and I doubt ‘all my love’ is something he would say to anyone else? I would measure it with his behaviour in general. If it seems like he’s trying to make more of a effort in general then I wouldn’t think twice about it.

CorsicaDreaming · 05/01/2025 22:26

My DH just writes

Dear CorsicaDreaming

Happy Birthday

Love
His name xx

Literally that's it

But I know he loves me and his "love language" is actions. Tea in bed every morning, that kind of thing -

He is just a bit auto pilot on writing cards... he acknowledges he is, he says he just can't think of much else to say.

I really wouldn't worry about it.

Sorry you've had such a tough year @Mickey12

Emmz1510 · 05/01/2025 22:06

I’ve never written that in my OH cards, but only because I think it sounds overly soppy! I sometimes write ‘love you’ or ‘lots of love’ but ‘all my love is too much’. It’s definitely not cold.

Choccyscofffy · 05/01/2025 21:50

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:26

Interesting. Ok. I've got it wrong. He always writes "I love you"/uses my nickname/says something silly - so to me the card seemed cold. I always write "all my love" to family members or friends. But I can see I'm reading too much into it as feel the relationship is in such a bad state anyway. I'll forget the card! Thanks.

When is the last time he said I love you?

Pherian · 05/01/2025 21:49

I think you’re over thinking it.

1983Louise · 05/01/2025 20:57

I would worry if it was - I quite like you - I imagine you have more things to worry about than a birthday message .............

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 05/01/2025 20:57

I would be put out by this but only because my DH always writes everyone’s (including mine) cards properly - a personal message, an acknowledgement of the year gone by and an expression of gratitude or pride, and love.

My dad might write this to my mum though and I know my DH is a bit unusual with his cards so I think you are probably overthinking it

comedycentral · 05/01/2025 20:14

Half of posters will say it's cold
Half will say it's full of all his love

Only you know your DH and what's usual for him.

Kd96 · 05/01/2025 20:13

I'd be happy to recieve a blooming card.

Iloveeverycat · 31/12/2024 16:28

I always write all my love in my husbands cards

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2024 16:11

WigglyVonWaggly · 31/12/2024 16:04

Be glad he didn’t write ‘all the best’.

Or

"Have a lovely weekend".

That's what I type/write to people I hate. It's code for burn in a fiery pit.

WigglyVonWaggly · 31/12/2024 16:04

Be glad he didn’t write ‘all the best’.

WigglyVonWaggly · 31/12/2024 16:03

BellissimoGecko · 31/12/2024 15:45

What??

I reserve 'all my love' for cards to dh or my parents.

Show quote history

I think it was sarcasm!

WigglyVonWaggly · 31/12/2024 16:02

I saw the thread title and assumed a female ‘friend’ had put this in a card to him and you were worrying. To see that he wrote this to you - his wife - and you think it’s cold just baffles me. It really does.

TheOpalReader · 31/12/2024 15:59

Has he felt the same re the lovelessness? He could be trying to show he cares without being over the top? My partner and I had a very rough patch just before his birthday a few years back and it felt a bit insincere of me to be my usual self in regards to the card etc. I still put I love you but it was a strange time. As for the all my love I'd still take that as a nice sign off.

peachystormy · 31/12/2024 15:48

Nothing bad about it

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 31/12/2024 15:47

You know your DH and we don’t but to my All My Love is warm.

BellissimoGecko · 31/12/2024 15:45

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

What??

I reserve 'all my love' for cards to dh or my parents.

HotHorseHerbie · 31/12/2024 11:07

For my birthday one month after I had had our baby, my ex signed the card "all the best" and couldn't understand why I laughed.

BetteDavisChin · 31/12/2024 11:02

On our first anniversary I received a card from DH with the message on the front

"Best Wishes on Your Anniversary"

😂

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/12/2024 11:02

I think “all my love” is lovely.

I remember writing that to the boyfriend I was madly in love with when I was younger.

Mummyratbag · 31/12/2024 11:00

Friends - lots of love/love
Family - all my/our love
DH/kids - all my/our love always

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2024 10:59

Sounds fine to me.

When he starts signing off with things like,

Your brother in Christ

that’s when you know to book an appointment with a divorce lawyer.

On the other hand, Your humble and obedient servant - also fine.