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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dating someone much more educated than you?

113 replies

LemonSheep · 30/12/2024 23:25

I'm a 40s man divorcee man who has met a 40s divorcee woman at tennis and am trying to work out if she'd be interested.

I run a successful company, we started in scaffolding but have now branched out to plumbing, gas, electrics and general construction and probably make a lot more money than her but have no education past 16 whereas she seems to have multiple Oxford degrees and works as a professor. I think we're evenly matched but my mates are saying there's no chance.

Don't care that she's smarter than me but don't want to make things awkward at the club if there's no hope here. She seems interested but can't tell for sure.

OP posts:
LemonSheep · 30/12/2024 23:44

owlexpress · 30/12/2024 23:36

probably make a lot more money than her

Given that you're looking at her and assessing her income... She probably isn't interested. HTH.

Attraction is based on many things. The fact you've boiled it down to education and income seems shallow.

Don't care about money or education, never have but I know a lot of people do which is why I mentioned it.

OP posts:
IKnowAPlace · 30/12/2024 23:43

I love being around people with different life experiences to me - I learn so much from them.

As long as you have similar values and want the same kind of things in life, it could work.

Operating in very different social circles could be tricky, though.

Holly184 · 30/12/2024 23:43

If you're both single ask her out ! I don't think many women would be put off that an attractive , hard working man with a successful business has no uni degree .
Similar values and attraction are so much more important.

Elizo · 30/12/2024 23:42

LemonSheep · 30/12/2024 23:25

I'm a 40s man divorcee man who has met a 40s divorcee woman at tennis and am trying to work out if she'd be interested.

I run a successful company, we started in scaffolding but have now branched out to plumbing, gas, electrics and general construction and probably make a lot more money than her but have no education past 16 whereas she seems to have multiple Oxford degrees and works as a professor. I think we're evenly matched but my mates are saying there's no chance.

Don't care that she's smarter than me but don't want to make things awkward at the club if there's no hope here. She seems interested but can't tell for sure.

Just go for it! I have an Oxbridge degree and you sound eligible to me! Ha ha. If she isn’t keen for any reason no harm done

LemonSheep · 30/12/2024 23:40

noworklifebalance · 30/12/2024 23:33

Doesn’t matter on your education per se but your substance - sounds cheesy but true. You weren’t a lazy good for nothing, you made something of yourself and so did she. You are probably just as bright but at different things, perhaps business for you and whatever her profession is for her and the different (and some same) skills they both require.
Do you have things in common beyond tennis - sense of humour? Outlook on life? Travel, food, film/tv etc

Thankyou, I do think she'd be awful at what I do but I could never do what she does. Swings and roundabouts I suppose.

We've got other stuff in common but most of all just have fun together. Humour is definitely matching and it hasn't came up yet but I think we'd be similar politically.

OP posts:
Mylittlebobble · 30/12/2024 23:40

There's different forms of intelligence.

Werp · 30/12/2024 23:39

For some people it matters, for others it doesn’t. I have three degrees, my partner dropped out of school before GCSEs. He’s intelligent and interested in the world (more so than many academics I know), and we get on and have similar values, I didn’t ask for his CV when we started dating.

itsmylife7 · 30/12/2024 23:39

Can you imagine her mixing with your friends and being comfortable and vice versa ?

Murphs1 · 30/12/2024 23:39

I think it depends on whether you get on or not, and think you don’t need an education to be quick minded, witty and or funny. My husband is far more educated than myself, but he says I’m the smart one 😁 I’m inclined to agree.

username299 · 30/12/2024 23:37

Wouldn't put me off at all and I have a few degrees. I've never asked for someone's educational background before talking to them.

A decent person will accept you for who you are.

owlexpress · 30/12/2024 23:36

probably make a lot more money than her

Given that you're looking at her and assessing her income... She probably isn't interested. HTH.

Attraction is based on many things. The fact you've boiled it down to education and income seems shallow.

noworklifebalance · 30/12/2024 23:34

Your mates may be right.
Or they may be wrong…

noworklifebalance · 30/12/2024 23:33

Doesn’t matter on your education per se but your substance - sounds cheesy but true. You weren’t a lazy good for nothing, you made something of yourself and so did she. You are probably just as bright but at different things, perhaps business for you and whatever her profession is for her and the different (and some same) skills they both require.
Do you have things in common beyond tennis - sense of humour? Outlook on life? Travel, food, film/tv etc