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AIBU?

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Original poster

to bail on NYE plans?

115 replies

clotheshorsess · 30/12/2024 22:56

I made plans today with friends for NYE. They had loose plans to just hang out at a friend's flat. I was very enthusiastic. I agreed to make brownies and spinach dip.
I now don't feel like going. Is it horrible to just make up a random excuse and not go? I already made the food and I was thinking of dropping it off early tomorrow for the group. There will be 9 other people there if I do not go.

OP posts:
BrownBoot · 30/12/2024 23:41

I’d go - if I say I’m attending something, I attend unless there’s a very good reason not to. Some of the best nights I’ve had have been those I forced myself to attend because I wasn’t in the mood.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 30/12/2024 23:40

Rainbowdottie · 30/12/2024 23:13

I don't go anywhere I don't want to go, but that's me! I equally know I wouldn't enjoy this in the first place so I've found the confidence to say no straight away these days. Often I'd agree,already knowing I'd have to go through the agony of either going or letting down, and I've found the confidence not to that anymore. As an adult, I don't see why you should go if you really don't want to

Me too - rey not to get myself in these situations any more.

Op you may have to tell a white lie as to why you aren't going.

Readmorebooks40 · 30/12/2024 23:37

Generally if I commit to doing something I'll do it as I know when people flake on me it's annoying and rude. I think if you put time and effort into your friends then it's returned. It's entirely up to you though. If you are generally reliable and really don't feel up to it then just give them plenty of notice and be honest that you don't want to go. However you probably will enjoy yourself once you're there and be glad that you made the effort.

Dotto · 30/12/2024 23:29

You don't have to stay til after midnight, I'd give it a go and come home early.

NoSquirrels · 30/12/2024 23:28

You want to see them. You hardly see them. It’s NYE. Go!

itsmylife7 · 30/12/2024 23:27

You may feel like making the effort tomorrow?

Original poster
clotheshorsess · 30/12/2024 23:25

BeetyAxe · 30/12/2024 23:21

No you shouldn’t, you made a commitment and you should stick to it. If everyone said yes then did what you are planning on doing and just dropped out it would be shit for the host. You read stuff here all the time about people having parties where no-one shows up. What are you going to do instead anyway, just lie about your house. No doubt you can do that most of next year. You’re a long time dead, just go, you might just enjoy it!

Edited

I agree. I feel its good character to stick to ones word and not abandon plans because one doesn't feel like it anymore? I just realllllllly dont feel like it at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
clotheshorsess · 30/12/2024 23:24

NoSquirrels · 30/12/2024 23:21

What changed so quickly that you suddenly don’t want to? You were very enthusiastic and you made the food… why don’t you fancy it now?

When the topic of what is everyone doing on NYE came up on the group chat I was very much YOLO etc. I didn't want to go at all but I've been trying to force myself to be more social and find a balance. I barely see them. I dont mind it I like my quiet life and I have a gym, work, chill routine thats very comforting.

We used to have lots of fun as a group together when we were younger and maybe it's the nostalgia? I also dont fancy getting myself home so late after a few drinks.

OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 30/12/2024 23:21

No you shouldn’t, you made a commitment and you should stick to it. If everyone said yes then did what you are planning on doing and just dropped out it would be shit for the host. You read stuff here all the time about people having parties where no-one shows up. What are you going to do instead anyway, just lie about your house. No doubt you can do that most of next year. You’re a long time dead, just go, you might just enjoy it!

NoSquirrels · 30/12/2024 23:21

What changed so quickly that you suddenly don’t want to? You were very enthusiastic and you made the food… why don’t you fancy it now?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 30/12/2024 23:19

Oh you might enjoy it once you're there. The thought of going out to me is much worse than actually being out usually. Can you go but say you've had a headache all day so not sure how long you will stay?

theduchessofspork · 30/12/2024 23:18

I think as a rule most people enjoy these things once they get there, even if they feel reluctant, and regularly cancelling social plans make most people unhappy and isolated.

However, that is just a general rule - if you’d be happier with a quiet night in and your own company, given there’s a gang of people going, you can pull out without much worry.

MumChp · 30/12/2024 23:16

Drop the food. Go home.

Happy New Year!

Rainbowdottie · 30/12/2024 23:13

I don't go anywhere I don't want to go, but that's me! I equally know I wouldn't enjoy this in the first place so I've found the confidence to say no straight away these days. Often I'd agree,already knowing I'd have to go through the agony of either going or letting down, and I've found the confidence not to that anymore. As an adult, I don't see why you should go if you really don't want to

GKMama · 30/12/2024 22:58

Do what makes you happy...and make that your new years resolution! Happy New Year x