to bail on NYE plans?

My new years eve plans are up in smoke because my husband has this bug going round and I can start to feel it brewing in me. C'est la vie! Do what makes you happy.

Not so sure brownies and spinach dip are a good combo tho'!

I've been the person who felt like bailing, sometimes I've even been the person who bailed, and I've been the person being bailed on. The last of those feels really shit, and made me resolve never to be the first person unless I really feel physically or mentally incapable of socialising. There'll be nine other people there but what if another couple feel the same as you?

Also, 90% of the time forcing myself to get off my arse and out the door ends up in a brilliant night out, no matter how lazy and tired I feel.

If you don’t want to go don’t go. But then don’t expect anyone to turn up for anything you organise.

It’s fine if you don’t want friends. But then don’t agree to go to anything in the future. People will soon stop asking you.

I haven’t organised anything in over 15 years. I can still remember the initial excitement of planning a big birthday party followed by the disappointment of people flaking out one by one on the day. All ridiculous excuses. Even a few years back I dreaded my own wedding because I was picturing everyone dropping out. (Only 2 couples did).

People always seem to think they’re the only one who will flake out so it’ll be fine. But what if everyone else feels the same as you then no one goes?

So yeah. Don’t go. But be honest with them why. So then your friends can choose whether to bother inviting you in the future. Don’t keep friends as a back up just for when you have fuck all else to do.

You need to go. It’s rude and unfair on the hosts to bail out at the last minute. I have people in my life who are unreliable and I now don’t take them into consideration when planning anything.

I had some devastating news myself yesterday and the last thing I feel like at the moment is tonight’s festivities but I’m committed. I’ll slap on a smile and host my party.

Go and have fun OP!

I'm wondering how you see the food drop-off in the morning going?

"Just dropping off this food, I made it yesterday but when it came down to it, I just couldn't be arsed spending the evening with you. Happy New Year!"

This would be such a rubbish thing to do.
You say there will be others there but there's a good chance at least one other group will have a genuine reason they can't go, and then the host has put work in for only a few people to turn up. It feels shit, I have been there.
Last year friends were supposed to come to ours and canceled last minute and it was the worst nye. My kids were in tears too.

Rude and flaky. You should go, but make it a new years resolution not to accept invitations if you can't be bothered having friends.

It's very rude to accept an invitation and then bail out. And unfair on the host

Don't go but then don't expect your friendships to grow and deepen , don't come back on 2 years saying you are lonely

Can’t stand it when people flake at the last minute because they “don’t feel like it”.

If you have serious MH issues that mean sometimes you genuinely feel too anxious/overwhelmed etc to go out, that’s one thing. But just “don’t feel like it” nah. You said you’d go, so suck it up and go.

I 'm sure you're not the only who wants to bail out of NYE plans. Grit your teeth. I am! Happy NY.

You've agreed to go, so go.

If you enjoy it, it will help you get over your aversion to socialising. If you don't enjoy it, it will help you to say 'no' to things you don't want to do in future.

This

I would make the effort to go, even if just for a little bit.

Really flaky to bail at this point for no good reason

Yes op deleted their response.

Just go. Leave early if you're not feeling it.
You may be at the age where these kind of invites are regular, but if you don't make an effort they soon drop off. If you're feeling anxious about going out, giving in to that feeling will only make the anxiety stronger in the long run.

I hate it when people cancel at short notice so i’d go if i committed to it, and would probably have a good time. Can you go for a few hours, come home before midnight?

Go and drop the food. Stay an hour and see how it’s going.
You could leave at 10 and just be honest .. say you’re exhausted/hate NYE or whatever you feel is really happening inside. I am entering 2025 with a new belief that you should do what makes you happy

I cannot abide flakery. I am fully supportive of people living how they choose & support friends who choose to spend time alone. But
If a plan is made. Other than severe illness or unforeseen emergency I would find it a dereliction of friendship to drop out.
It's bloody rude & selfish & far far too common in these days of WhatsApp & texts.

I wouldn't forgive or forget

Of course you don't have to go. But if you don't, at least some of the other nine people will think you are flaky and be less likely to invite you to future gatherings. Would that bother you?

I can lie at the drop of a hat if I don't want to go to something, but if I say I am going then I go. People who bail at the last minute are flakey - unless there is a good reason to do so. If it was a huge party then that's not so bad, but with a small group it's really not on.

Just go. You are anxious that’s all and you need to go even if just for an hour. Things get even harder if you don’t face them.

go for an hour and see how you feel. Then go home if you want to. Then you’ve kept everyone happy including yourself x