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Original poster

Partner been talking to ex wife

41 replies

ForestFox44 · 30/12/2024 22:37

To cut a long story short my current DP suffers with severe jealousy. I have 1DS with my ex partner. I also have 1DS with my DP. My ex and I co parent amicably for the most part how ever my DP finds issue with every single plan I make with my ex. He seems to only be happy if we are arguing. He hates me messaging my ex about anything. We rarely speak as my DP is very full on about it. Any communication I have with my ex, my DP wants every tiny detail. Now here's my issue. I know my DP is still in contact with his ex wife. They share no children. He said they rarely speak but I've had a feeling that isn't true. Today I asked for the first time to see his messages, he panicked, showed me a few but then snatched his phone and didn't want me to see anymore. It turns out they message every single day...about everything. I have absolutely lost it over this simply because of the amount of stress he causes me about communication with my ex about our DS. I feel like this is hugely hypocritical and want to know if I'm being reasonable to end it over this. We have a string of issues but this feels like the icing on the cake right now.

OP posts:
BCBird · 04/01/2025 08:46

I would think having an amicable relationship with ex partner, particularly when.there are children involved is something to celebrate rather than sabotage. As for him.texting his ex partner all the time, that would bother me. Jealousy? Deal- breaker

WidgetDigit2022 · 04/01/2025 08:46

ForestFox44 · 30/12/2024 23:32

I always said he was projecting. His excuse is they were together a long time and it's hard to just cut that person out. Funny thing is I wouldn't have even been overly bothered about the odd message if he didn't give me such a hard time.

Why have you allowed a man to make your life so difficult with your ex coparent? Why are you accepting the jealousy!

The fact he’s a hypocrite is almost irrelevant. Stop allowing men to dictate what you do!

devilspawn · 04/01/2025 08:42

Nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with a guilty conscience.

DeepRoseFish · 04/01/2025 08:33

You have to LTB. Put your child first! He’s preventing you from having a good co parenting relationship because he’s so jealous but he’s in constant contact with his ex wife????

Agix · 04/01/2025 08:17

How does he respond when you point out his hypocrisy?

Seems pretty simple (even if not easy). He knows his discussions with his ex wife are not totally innocent, so he is projecting that onto your discussions with your sons father.

Janus · 04/01/2025 08:10

Please leave. Your poor first child is suffering because you can’t have a normal conversation with his dad, that alone is the main reason to leave, no matter if you think you love your partner etc. Your current partner is disrespecting you and this is probably the tip of the iceberg. He sounds absolutely awful.

coolkatt · 31/12/2024 13:22

Absolute asshole. I would get rid of him right now. He puts himself over the relationship u have with ur child's dad causing all sorts of issues but he is doing this!!! Honestly wtf does he think he is? I would t tolerate this a second more. New year, get him out now

DaringLion · 31/12/2024 12:49

What a pig ,he has no reason to be in constant contact with his ex.You carry on the good co parenting with your ex husband and tell this hypocrite to do one

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 10:33

Are you enjoying the relationship? No, then leave. You can leave for any reason and this is as good as any.

DorothyStorm · 31/12/2024 10:30

ForestFox44 · 30/12/2024 23:32

I always said he was projecting. His excuse is they were together a long time and it's hard to just cut that person out. Funny thing is I wouldn't have even been overly bothered about the odd message if he didn't give me such a hard time.

He is giving you a hard time. He is making your time hard. For something he is doing himself and far worse. You deserve better than that.

Endofyear · 30/12/2024 23:38

He's jealous because he's judging you by his own standards.

Regardless of him messaging with his ex, I couldn't put up with him making a fuss when you have contact with your child's father.

Original poster
ForestFox44 · 30/12/2024 23:32

I always said he was projecting. His excuse is they were together a long time and it's hard to just cut that person out. Funny thing is I wouldn't have even been overly bothered about the odd message if he didn't give me such a hard time.

OP posts:
Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 30/12/2024 22:50

Oh hell no. It’s cheating. They have nothing connecting them still other than feelings. What an absolute liar and gaslighter.

DorothyStorm · 30/12/2024 22:46

username299 · 30/12/2024 22:43

People often accuse their partner of what they're doing themselves.

I don't understand why you're tolerating his behaviour about your ex but assume it's the tip of the iceberg.

Edited

This. Was coming on to saw the same. It is projection.

To cut a long story short my current DP suffers with severe jealousy.
But this first sentence alone is enough for you to end the relationship.

he is a prick. Why live like that?

username299 · 30/12/2024 22:43

People often accuse their partner of what they're doing themselves.

I don't understand why you're tolerating his behaviour about your ex but assume it's the tip of the iceberg.

Sceptical123 · 30/12/2024 22:41

There’s a cliche that cheaters are the most jealous partners themselves - bc they know what other ppl are capable of I guess.

Not saying he’s cheating on you but if he’s in contact with ex and they’re presumably on good terms then he will be aware that this scenario can and does happen.

I absolutely detest hypocrisy so I’d be livid too. What on earth was his excuse?

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