It's too late, right?

My dad was 54 and my mum was 40 when they had me (i also have a younger brother!)

They have always been very “young for their age”

for me personally age is less important, its more do you think you have something to offer as a parent? Dont have a child out of fear of regret, but absolutely go for it if its something you both want.

i had my children younger and sometimes wish id got myself a bit more financially sound or settled in a dream home etc. something my parents did before me

duplicate post

Just go for it it @TrackDay!

Are you healthy? Fit? Both of those things will support conception and subsequent pregnancy. What have you got to lose?

Well, precisely. So all these “well my DH is 60 and still running marathons and we have a toddler” posts are meaningless

If your (male) partner is over 40 then you're three times more likely to miscarry than if they're under 40 due to sperm quality. The numbers likely worse for a man over 50...

In all honesty if you were both 40 id say go for it - but your DH is pretty old and it might lead to genetic problems or miscarriage. If you really want a baby tho you could still try! I think his age will be more of a problem for conceiving tho - at 40 you're probably still fertile

Could have been hit by a bus at 40.

My Dad was a very fit and active man at 55, raving it up at a festival at 59, and dead of prostate cancer at 60.

Did she ask about pregnancy specifically? I've re-read posts and can't see that, but I very well may be looking with my eyes closed!

I had twins as a "first" at 42. Then another at nearly 46.
Natural conception, easy pregnancy. And with the two eldest now at 16 I am not "knackered raising teenagers" either which apparently I should be.
Ignore the doom merchants.

Previous generations had late babies quite commonly and it's getting more common again now.

I had my third at 38:..he is an amazing person. He always says that he learned so much from younger siblings mistakes 🤭

No-one would bat an eyelid because they would just think he's a grandparent, amongst the other grandparents there picking up or watching the graduation.

Yeah, that’s because the OP specifically asked about pregnancy because she wants a baby. She didn’t ask about fostering - I’ve huge admiration for foster carers but it’s an entirely different kettle of fish.

Yes he’s definitely onboard. She says so in one of her posts.

Of course it's not too late! I was nearly 43 when I had my youngest child. Go for it if DH is on board.

I would wonder why the sudden urge when you have been in a position to have a baby for so long.

Aside from your age, I think it's pretty old for your DH to become a father. My DH was 46 and 48 in great health when we had dc. The baby and toddler years hit him harder than me (10 years younger). Fastforward to 13 years later, he's 59, only minor health problems but he is still quite knackered and just not how he was mid forties. Others his age are winding down or taking early retirement but he can't afford to with a family to support. He's at a very different life style to other friends with grown up children.

I don't regret having DC but it's been harder than we'd have imagined. We met later so didn't have the choice to start a family earlier - he was 40 and it took a few years to find stable work in the same place, move in together and get married.

Although if you are well off, you have that in your favour and being able to buy in help does make a difference, and/or not having to work long hours. I think it's not impossible but it has to be something you both really want.

Oh, that was meant for @ChildrenOfTheQuorn

I agree with this. Glad I built my career and had a lot of life experience before conceiving at 40. I had an abortion in my mid 20s as I knew I was nowhere near ready - financially, practically, emotionally - and glad I did. It’s selfish to bring a child into the world too early, I think, though I guess those that did know nothing else which makes it easy to judge those who wait or who are not in the right circumstances to conceive earlier.

Had my last at 38 go for it

Nope my colleague had a baby when she was 44!

Maybe it's because I became a parent via adoption, but I'm genuinely surprised that (almost?) everyone has offered advice in relation to becoming pregnant, especially considering the OP' and partner's ages.
@TrackDay Adoption aside, maybe becoming a foster carer would be an avenue you can look down?

Don’t know I was 43 and asked by the sonographer recently if I still wanted children as still possible, the fibroid must be in the right place.

Chatting to Mum earlier, my aunt was nearly 45 at last baby on 2nd attempt.

Known of a couple of men go into fatherhood late towards their 50’s oh kind of hard.

Don’t want to be rude, but you’re the one who sounds like an embarrassment. You clearly have an opinion, but there’s no need to be a bellend about it.

@TrackDay I’m your age. I have a 1.5 year old. I’m thinking about having another soon, which would make me 40/41 if I was to give birth. I don’t think you’re too old, but there’s not a lot of time to waste, so you’d need to start soon. Defs start on folic acid if you’re thinking about it.

I was on the fence for my whole adult life about having kids… and looking back my body just took over and made a decision before my mind could really catch up. All my friends were shocked when I told them I was pregnant, because they didn’t see me as ever wanting kids. I’m so, so happy I have had one. It’s completely changed my life and perspective. Yes, it is tiring, but that won’t be forever. It’s actually a very small part of it.

There’s 5 years in the difference of 35 and 40 and while fertility is different, when you’re 40 some people put so much emphasis on the potential for special needs, dealing with a kid while you have menopause, having less time with the kid due to being older and dying earlier… those things can happen at variable ages!
On mumsnet I do suspect a lot of these comments come from people who had kids earlier and are often judgemental of older mums for some reason or another. Personally, I wasn’t financially stable in my 20s. I didn’t have a home and I was still building a career. I’m so happy I am in a position that I can provide well for my child.

Good luck with your decision. Whatever one you make is right.

It really depends on the person, I agree. My friends partner who is 55 is a very young and fit 55 - with a playful energy and lots of life left. Lots more than many men in their 30s and 40s tbh!

Couldn't agree more 👏