It's too late, right?

Totally normal for uni friends to have parents in their 50s, you know!

I was going to say this. It's more than likely that some life experiences are already too late. It's likely that OP's DH will never be a grandparent. Or if he is, he will not be be able to be very hands on at all, and in fact, would add to the burden of the adult child because they'd be worrying about their ageing parent as well as their own young child. That's quite the burden to give another human being.

But 36 is young to have a 3rd baby. You'll only be 40/41 when they start school. This not at all the same situation as OP.

As for lots of parents at your kids schools being 50+. Well, that could mean anything. We were 50 when our youngest was still in the last couple of years of secondary school. If you're talking about primary school then in my experience it's not usually sensible to take a look round the playground and assume that lots of the parents are over 50. You can't know who they all are, you can't know all their ages, only what age they all APPEAR to be, and unless you know the relationship between every single adult and child, then plenty of the adults could be grandparents, childminders, aunties, family friends.

Had baby at nearly 44. Turned my world upside down. He's now 23 & fabulous!

Definitely not too late. I had my two at 41 and 45. We are all happy and healthy, best thing I ever did. My DH is the same age as me though, I might have thought about it differently if he was a decade or so older...

Lie?

That's the beauty of social media isn't it? 🙄 It allows you to keep in touch. o You hear about friends of friends. We were a very close year group.

Not everyone is the same as you. I'm not sure if you wanted to contribute to the discussion or simply pick at my post?

@CraZypinkpants you need to name change if you want to lie. But I'm guessing you got my point.

Not too late!!! I was 42 when we had our daughter. Homebirth, no drugs, no gas and air, just breathed her out!! No extended family to help, only husband and me. Exhausting, but Best thing I ever did!!! She’s now 19, in second year university, such a lovely young woman.
Do it! 😊

DH 63
Children 10 and 8

Yes I think it’s adding on at least 18 years - plus they may stay in FT education to at least 21.

More likely to have health issues yourselves plus going through with menopause supporting a teenager.

You also don’t know how DH will be in reality, no-one really knows how they will adapt or not.

Needing a nap at 56 or not being able to run as fast as a six your old is not normal though, unless he had a health issue I can see why his wife was irritated.

I had my 4th baby at 43. Had first at 31, 2nd 33 and 3rd at 37 xx (all natural!)

Sorry his dad was 56

I thought of a plus. My dc has a friend who's parents were similar (his dad was second marriage with grown children but same age gap with his 2nd wife). Nice thing for their dc was that his dad took early retirement at 60 and became the sahp when dc started school. Worked well for his parents.

No it isn't mad! I had the same at 40 after an MC at 39 and just had the all consuming feeling that I wanted baby so so badly. Here I sit, 41, celebrating NY with my 4 month old boy. Pregnancy was smooth, luckily. Recovery also fine
It has been such an enormous blessing.

Paternal age effect is as real as maternal age. It’s less talked about but my husband did his PhD on it and there are chromosomal abnormalities that are more likely the older the father. So you’d want to get tested when you are pregnant to be prepared if there are issues.

I don’t think I could have a child at 53 though even if I wasn’t primary care giver. I wouldn’t want to die before I met my grandkids or while my own kid was a teenager. It puts more pressure on a child to become a care giver too if they haven’t had their own family when the parents need help.

I had my youngest at 40 I didn’t feel
any different to when I had the other 2 (big gaps)
Anyway I asked a doctor a while before I had him what they really think is too old, first she said ‘if you want a baby you want a baby’, then I said go on just say, and she said ‘42’

No it’s not too late at all! My friend had a baby aged 44 after years of trying to conceive including two years of ivf. They decided to adopt a dog and she got pregnant!

It may be too late, but probably not, so I suggest you have the chat with your DH ASAP.

Completely understand your concerns, but please go for it. A child who will be loved for most of their lives. X

I had a male coworker who had a child when he was 50 years old. He loved his kid, of course, but he said : " it isn't a problem to have a baby when you are fifty, but it is a problem to have a six-years-old when you are fiftysix". His son could easily outrun him which had caused some dangerous situations. My coworker would quite like to have a nap in the afternoon but his son no longer needed afternoon naps so he couldn't. My coworker was tired all the time and his wife, who was in her late thirties, had no compassion for his tiredness.

If you get pregnant now, your husband will be 63 when the child is 10. It is unfair to both of them.

My DH and I have a couple of friends who lost a parent when they themselves were teenagers. It caused them a lot of problems. It is easier to handle when you are an adult.

Add to it that there is a significantly increased risk of genetic issues when both the parents are old. There is also an increased risk of schizophrenia, bipolar ( bipolarism?) and autism.

I met my husband when I was 38. When I was 40 we decided to try for kids and I got pregnant the first month I came off the pill. I had a trouble free pregnancy and my beautiful daughter is now 14... However it was too late for us to have any further kids.. we tried but it didn't happen for us.
So definitely not too late, but I would get going!!
I also know someone who has just had their first child at 49 (assisted pregnancy), with husband in their fifties. A much longed for child, and I know they will be amazing parents.

I used to think this but not at all! Me and my 2 siblings all had DC in our 40s, plus several friends. Our parents assumed they wouldn't be grandparents but magically all 3 in the same year! Xxx

Why too late?

It is your story. As long you are healthy and your hubby as well…so predicted to still be around another 40 years at least…why not?

It will be desperately tiring and also very very life changing of course so measure that.

Good luck op 🌺