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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's too late, right?

459 replies

TrackDay · 30/12/2024 21:13

I'm 40. DH is 52. Happily married for 15 years, childfree.

Hormones have hit me like a freight train - I want a baby.

It's way, way too late, right? It's just hormones. It'll pass?

OP posts:
purpleblue2 · 30/12/2024 21:28

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/12/2024 21:19

No they don't. People should stop saying these things.

It may not be too late, though, OP. You may need help, you may get pregnant and miscarry. Worth a try if you BOTH want it though.

Show quote history

How do you know they don’t I know a fair few that have done and so may this poster.

hou don’t know the worlds population and their ages so how can you say that maybe YOU need to stop saying that because you have no real evidence to back up your claim. My mum had one at 37 and my friends mum had one at 40. I’ve known so many others in passing that have children late. It happens. You just don’t agree.

ChristmasEveNotChristmasSteve · 30/12/2024 21:28

Will the child want a 70+ year old dad when they're 17?

Remagirl · 30/12/2024 21:27

Conceived naturally at 42. First baby, no problems at all. Go for it x

Whoarethoseguys · 30/12/2024 21:27

It's probably not too late but you will have to decide soon.
I know several people who have had children at 40+

Misty999 · 30/12/2024 21:26

I had my last child just before I turned 40 and my DH was 50 go for it. I am knackered though.

Katemax82 · 30/12/2024 21:26

Not too late..I'm pregnant at 42

HamSandwichKiller · 30/12/2024 21:26

I defo wouldn't want to be dealing with a newborn at the age of 52/53. I certainly wouldn't want to have to work longer to fund university etc either.

Lentilweaver · 30/12/2024 21:26

Love51 · 30/12/2024 21:26

Don't get pregnant if you want a baby. Get pregnant if you want a toddler, a school kid, a mardy teenager and to support a young adult through Uni when you could be retiring and your husband will have already retired.

Indeed.

Createausername1970 · 30/12/2024 21:26

It's not too late to have a baby if that's what you both want. But please consider that it could be a year or two before one arrives by which time you will be approaching 45 and 55 respectively. So you will be 60 and 70 when they are 15/16, which can be very trying - and costly, just at a stage when your income could be decreasing.

Honestly, it's no-one's decision other than yours, but think beyond "baby".

You could consider fostering?

TwinkleLights24 · 30/12/2024 21:26

It would be too late for me given he is 52 already but that’s just how I would feel.

Love51 · 30/12/2024 21:26

Don't get pregnant if you want a baby. Get pregnant if you want a toddler, a school kid, a mardy teenager and to support a young adult through Uni when you could be retiring and your husband will have already retired.

Daleksatemyshed · 30/12/2024 21:25

If you've been CF all this time will your DH even consider this. If it was a mutual decision not to have DC I can't see him being thrilled at his age

KezzaMucklowe · 30/12/2024 21:25

There was a thread a couple of days ago about having a baby in your 40s lots of people were saying it isn't too late.
What does your DH think ?

Original poster
TrackDay · 30/12/2024 21:25

ForZanyAquaViewer · 30/12/2024 21:17

Of course it’s not. Women have babies in their early 40’s all the time. It’s not even particularly unusual. Why do you think it’s too late?

More DH's age than mine, high (?) risk of SEN, disability, rough pregnancy, sleep deprivation... also I have no family. So zero support apart from DH.

DH would be a wonderful hands-on devoted Dad.

But...it physically is such a 'need' - I never felt ready before but now I want at least three!

I'm financially very well off, live in a lovely village (rural). But I can't help thinking it's just too late?

OP posts:
meganorks · 30/12/2024 21:25

Not too old. One way or another you can have a baby. The issue is does your husband feel the same way? It sounds like you decided to be childfree. So what has changed? Do your reasons for not wanting children still stand?

Lentilweaver · 30/12/2024 21:25

I think the more relevant question is what does your DH want?

YouShouldBeDancingYeah · 30/12/2024 21:23

Not too late. I know someone who had all four (yes four!) children in her forties.

Arlanymor · 30/12/2024 21:23

A friend of mine had all three of her children in her 40s.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 30/12/2024 21:23

40 isn't massively late. 52 is a little more though.

GRCP · 30/12/2024 21:23

40 is fine - go for it

Chowtime · 30/12/2024 21:23

Not too late, no. I know lots of women who got pregnant in their forties

Scutterbug · 30/12/2024 21:22

I have two friends who conceived babies at 44, both with their first child. So no, not too late x

Plastictrees · 30/12/2024 21:22

It’s not too late, if it’s what you both want.

IncessantNameChanger · 30/12/2024 21:22

It isn't always too late at that age. I had a baby at 40 but it wasn't my first

Comedycook · 30/12/2024 21:22

No, I don't think 40 is too late. What does your DH want?

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