It's too late, right?

It’s not too late until your ovaries shut up shop.

You won’t know whether it’s too late unless you have testing for ovarian reserve, hormone levels etc.

Socially, it’s completely normal now to have babies in your early 40’s. Slightly more unusual for dads in their early 50’s but certainly not rare.

It’s entirely personal to you and your circumstances. For me personally, it would be too late, but other people with perfectly valid reasons and in their own circumstances would say it’s not. I think it’s just up to you and your partner to decide what is right for you.

If you both want it then go for it. Plenty of healthy babies are born to older parents.

That being said now I wouldn’t be able to do this myself I’m 29 and I’ve got one child who is 3. I’ve given myself 2 more years to have another and then I think for my older self I wouldn’t but I’ve got one! I wouldn’t say I’d not have one in your situation cause I think I would do so.

Well, they do amongst my acquaintances.

They really do: https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/blogs-and-stories/im-pregnant/pregnancy-news-and-blogs/number-women-getting-pregnant-their-40s-rise

People are saying it because it’s true.

Mothers who had their children young will say you’re too old, those who had them older will say you aren’t. The 40 year olds with 15 years old can’t fathom doing it again because they’ve nearly got adults now and are envisaging their adult only holidays etc. The older mums have enjoyed child free 20s and 30s and are ready to start a new journey.
I’m in the 2nd camp. Had a blast in my 20s and 30s without kids and settled in my mid/ late 30s only because I met DH. Now 40 with a 10 month old and pregnant. I couldn’t be happier. No regrets. My baby is pure joy. Having kids now has been like starting a new life.

Third is great because you gift birth to a baby but are a parent to a toddler, child, tween, teenager, young adult, the works.

If DH is on board then book an appointment with your GP and ask for advice and tests. You could be experiencing a surge in oestrogen as you hit perimenopause, which could be your body's last gasp, saying it needs to be pregnant now.

But if you both want a child, then do what you can as soon as you can.

Best of luck with it.

I don’t think it’s mad to want a baby. One for sure! I think 3 might be a bit ambitious

I'd have a baby at 40

I wouldn't have a baby at 40 with a 52 year old that's the difference

You've spent 15 years that you could have spent having children and raising a family on other things more material things which presumably at the time you happily valued higher

I had my first at 39, DH was 51 and my second at 42, DH was 54. Easy pregnancies, easy everything.

They are now 23 (with a degree and a job) and 20 (still at uni).

I say go for it.

That's ridiculous. My DH was 53 when I got pregnant with mine at 36. Happy healthy toddler now

My mum had her last at 43. If you want a baby, go for it. I definitely don’t think it’s too old!! I plan on maybe having another around then if I do want another. Best of luck xxx

And I’m actually nearly 41! And a toddler!

I agree.

Giving birth at 37 is completely normal and average. Your friend's mum having one at 40 meant she could well have conceived at 39. A year makes a lot of difference around that age.

I know of 2 women who chose to be child free and by the time they felt they wanted one (one was only mid 30s) they discovered they had fertility issues. Any fertility treatment to try to get pregnant at that age was going to be gruelling and unlikely to work and they were told that they would have had more of a chance for it to work, or for multiple tries, if they'd started 5 years earlier.

If OP wants to try she needs to try ASAP, in earnest. Not just take a "let's see if it just happens" approach.

It’s not too late. You haven’t expired.
if you still have eggs and someone can share some sperm - you’ve got a good chance as anyone.

dont let fear hold you back. Are you financially ok? In that you could afford childcare and to reduce working hours if wanted. That’s more important so you have choices and can get support you don’t have locally.

life isn’t guaranteed. No one knows how long we’ll all live for and being older parents can mean you’re more emotionally intelligent/financially stable as you’ve been around a bit. That’s good for giving children security.

My mum had me at 22, my sister at 34 and my younger sister at 40. She said she definitely had more energy to run around with me and play, however in her 40’s she had much more patience and time to spend with the girls. If you both want a baby then why not!! People on this thread are thinking about ‘what about in 20 years’ blah blah blah when realistically anything could happen to any of us at any moment? But we still have kids anyway!

I have a baby so no

My friend is almost 41 and told me today that she's pregnant. Good luck to you!

How long have you actually thought like this?

If it’s been a couple of years in the back of your mind, then I would definitely consider it.

But if it’s literally been the past few weeks, then I would assume you’re just panicking because your biological clock is ticking, but that doesn’t mean you actually want them.

When did you turn 40?

Approaching 40 or hitting 40 (used to be 30), can often make women panic.

Do you think this has anything to do with it?

I think your DH is too old. I had two friends who had Dads in their early 70s when we were in 6th form and sadly both of them died while their children were still at school.

My friend has a 7 year old child and her 63 year old husband just had a stroke.

And obviously even without any of these things happening, a 70 year old is not the ideal parent age for a teenager.

It's too old for me. And 52 is definitely definitely far too old for me.
(Childless not by choice but decided to stop doing IVF as I'd rather regret not having children than intentionally create one with parents I feel would be too old)

I’m 60 with 11 year old. definitely not too late and I would absolutely say do it

Wow. My mum is 60 and has older grandchildren than 11!