It's too late, right?

It does depend on the individual woman, though. OP can't count on her eggs being spring chickens at 40.

OP, maybe you could do for some fertility tests to get an idea of how much time you might have. Or you could freeze some eggs. That would give you a lot of peace of mind.

I sometimes think MN is a parallel universe. I don't know any men in their 70s who are up for managing hormonal teenagers.

I had an unplanned pregnancy at 43 after having 'completed' our family with three children. I have never regretted it. I was concerned that I would feel like wizened granny at the school gates but actually there were plenty of mums in my age bracket. DD is now 22 so I'm sure it's even more common now!

DH was 61 when DD was born: she’s 14 and completely fine, and neither of us can imagine life without her. Yes, the risks are higher when you’re older (and I do encourage you to have all the antenatal tests and be very realistic about what you think you could cope with and what you would do with bad news ) but if you can get pregnant and carry a baby to term the odds are in favour of it being perfectly OK.

Peri menopause hit me hard at 40 with needs for more babies and we already had our hands full. I would have happily had more babies (which wouldn't have been right for us with small house and already 3 sen kids). The need was so strong. Thank goodness dh had the snip so decision was taken out of my hands.

I don’t think it’s the health of your baby that is the issue but the health of you as parents. We are also healthy 50+ year olds with young adult children but are now acutely and sadly aware of friends in our age group who have sadly died due to cancer etc. I wish it wasn’t the case and it isn’t for everyone but unfortunately we have lost several friends already. It’s just something to consider in terms of the impact on the children.

At 40 it's probably not too late, but it might well be by 42 or 43, so you'd better crack on. By which I mean, talk to your husband. If he says no, maybe you could volunteer with kids. That's what my friend's mum did when she suffered from secondary infertility.

Good luck!

There is never a right time or a right age. I think you are definitely not too old. I would try for 6 months and then have fertility tests if not successful. 40 is a spring chicken these days.

I wouldn’t, personally. But I have one! so it’s easy for me to say that.

My plan for childlessness before I had her was to go on big adventures at 40, travelling and so on (I would have worked full time for years up to this point, in the plan, so would have had financial options). Could you consider alternatives, or find contentment in the life you have? There are so many possible negative outcomes and maybe having one child makes you think of those, but I just ask myself, could I cope with a child with significant additional needs? What would I do about such a child when I became too old to look after them? It’s rolling the dice, you just have to consider all the possible outcomes and not just the perfect ones.

only you can answer the questions about your hormones. Can you picture yourselves at your child’s graduation/ first house etc 21 years down the line?

you could also look into adoption, you have a great community and could make a huge difference to a child’s life

I say go for it. Lots of men in their 70s are fit and active. In many ways having DC later in life keeps you young and connected in to younger people.Your child will love your dh because he is Dad, not judge his age.
It also sounds as if you can afford to have some help in the mad early years.
I had my DC at 38 and 40. It was tiring but I have friends of many different ages and feel younger than my contemporaries who are grandparents.

Similar age for me and DH for your youngest (of 2) and so far so ver good. 🤞

I had my third child one month shy of my 42nd birthday. Conceived naturally .

This too.

In case it helps anyone: miscarriages in older mothers can mean low progesterone. If this is the cause, mothers may be able to carry pregnancies to term with progesterone supplements. But you have to ask and push for this.

Is it heck late, my sis was nearly 42 and had baby not planned. The apple of her, mine and her grans eye. Single parent but dad involved happily.
it’s all down to whether you fall pregnant or not at this age….

Nobody can know this for sure until it happens. There is no certainty, everyone just does the best they can. Nobody sits around planning for every possible disorder their child could possibly have and how they’d cope. You just don’t know until you are in the situation, you can’t ‘prepare’ for things that could possibly go ‘wrong’.

It’s actually not that unusual anymore. I'm 42 and have a 7 month old - it’s absolutely not too late.

You need to consider those things to be a parent in any case, at ANY age.

you are so ignorant and your attitude to disabilities is abhorrent.

I know three people who had their first on their forties. All fine and pretty much trouble free pregnancies. In fact the 44 year old had no pain relief at all and gave birth at home.

Sorry just seen op you've been married 15 years. I really think you need to ask yourself why it has taken you both until now to consider it, having a baby isn't jsomething that just occurs to you, most of us are thinking about it in some capacity from the moment we start puberty, I don't believe it's something you just don't consider.

You're doing yourself a disservice to dismiss what has been a 15+ year deliberate choice to not have children to suddenly upend that at a time it is frankly far from ideal to have a child when you've had the opportunity for much longer. I understand women meeting men later in life, but that isn't your story, especially considering your husband's age.

Absolutely nothing. But there's a lot wrong with not being prepared for the effort and heart break of trying to support them through an under resourced school system. And needing the energy to help them navigate friendships and jobs. So as I originally said, people need to be informed when deciding to create a life to make sure they can 100% provide the love and support they need.

@TrackDay No. That's the feeling that drove me to have both my kids. It was a bumpy road, but it was all worth it.

Personally I don’t think so, but I would sit with the feeling more and see how you feel in a month or so’s time.

I had my son at 40. No mothering desire before then, but then hormones/need, it hit me like nothing else. It was a joyous thing. His dad is only a year older than me so slightly different but if he's going to be a great dad and onboard, that's all that matters. My son is 20 now, ibeautiful, funny, clever and the best thing we ever did. We had all the 'age related' scares. Good luck! X