It's too late, right?

Isn't it 5% in each cycle? So that if a 40 year-old tries for a year, the chance of getting pregnant within a year is well over 5%, on average?

Yeah I know that but to go into it like the previous poster is wrong. We all know 35 onwards your known as high risk etc.

My parents were quite old when they had me. When we had guests the youngest other child in the room would be at least 7 years older than me. I was 36 when I lost my dad, he was in excellent health throughout my childhood, same for my mom.

So, my opinion is based on experience, don't call me bloody irresponsible and quote me, when you don't know me.

Thank you!

Yes, I'm not disputing that. But it's out of HUNDREDS of thousands of births. It is not the norm to have a baby in your 40s in this country, even if it is in your circle. The facts are there. Of course it happens, and what you say is totally true, yes, tens of thousands of women in their 40s DO give birth in the UK each year. OP could well be one of them. But people upthread trying to assert that it's totally normal and average are just incorrect.

If you're well off then I'd think about hiring a nanny, cleaner, gardener - essentially outsource what you can afford to give you more time and energy back. It's knackering, so the easiest you can make life the better. At that age I think you're perfectly fine to do it, but it will be a lot lot harder with a lack of funds or if you don't use those funds to help you!

Hope all goes well for you!

It’s not too late - barring any individual medical issues.

It’s on the late side for a first baby but it’s less unusual than it used to be so you will not be on your own.

I was born to an ‘older’ Mum in the 70s - that was mid 30s and most of my peers had either parents who were ten years younger or they were the youngest of 3-4 siblings.

The huge benefit you have - assuming all medical issues are okay - is that you have experience and time that someone building their career in their 20s and early 30s does not.

The downside is you don’t get the same level of support or time with grandparents for your child.

I would recommend doing a medical - go private if necessary and get a full health screening and then if you still feel strongly go for it.

Close friend if mine had hers at 39 and 41 she's a single mum and amazing yes it's tiring but tbh if you are financially comfortable and you live an active and healthy enough lifestyle (both of you but especially you in terms of being pregnant) then you are already in a brilliant position to have a baby still! If you genuinely want a baby now then don't let your age stop you it's too important.

Your dh is too old, imo.

Sad but true

And a donor egg.

On a population level, it's a fact that fertility declines a lot after age 37 and that many women can't conceive after 40. Those are just facts. Of course, individuals vary enormously.

Who gives a shit how they look in the playground? That would be a terrible criteria on which to decide whether to have a child or not.

for a woman yes 52 isn't good but for a man it has very little bearing. If the man is healthy sperm can be fine well into a mans 70's

@BIossomtoes Actually, there is a massive deficit in it, and geriatric pregnancy is a term largely eschewed by medical experts these days. Perhaps you need to catch up with the times. Or not.

Nothing at all, but it’s worth considering what you can personally cope with in terms of meeting need. I work in SEN and I know multiple parents (mothers) who’ve been quite literally on the edge of a breakdown for several years, while they grapple the education system and the needs of their child, and try to get their own needs met as well. Not everyone would be able to deal, not everyone would want that for themselves, and not everyone would manage the dissonance between loving your child and regretting the life you used to have, which some people will experience.

Ignoring those basic facts when OP has asked for opinions, is simply being naive at best.

GivingitToGod · Today 22:38

Lazydomestic · Today 22:13
Sometimes the biggest regrets are missed opportunities and what you didn’t do 🤷‍♀️
Show quote history

And there are people who regret having children

Are there? So why did they not stop at child?
Thats sad.

40 is not too old but 52 really is.

Tens of thousands of women in their 40s give birth in the UK each year

I agree that MORE people than before are having babies in their 40s. But that doesn't change the fact that in 2022 the average age of a woman giving birth is 30.9 according to the ONS, while fathers are 33.8.

There were 605,479 births registered in 2022. There were only 28,694 Mothers in the 40-44 category, and in the 45+ category only 2534. So what's that, OP would find that roughly 94.8% of other mothers are going to be younger than her. She WILL be one of the oldest mothers in the playground.

Regarding age of father, in 2022 there were 290,781 paternities registered. Only 3,459 were agd 50 to 54. (for 50+ dads category as a total, it is 5,597 out of the 290,781 paternities registered - 1.9%).

There tends to be an older parent demographic on MN which skews replies on threads like this. But there is a whole other world outside of MN. OP's DH IS likely to be the oldest dad in the playground. How would he feel about that?

There will always be the exception to the rule. There may be a couple of other mothers similar to OP's age in the playground. And I don't think it's a reason not to try to do this if it's really what OP and her husband both want. But the statistics are there. It IS still not at all average to have a baby at 40, that's just fact.

Edited to put link to data in, sorry. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/datasets/birthsbyparentscharacteristics

5% chance of getting pregnant at 40 according to Dr Google,that's pretty low but not impossible. Just have realistic expectations OP.

have you had a baby in your 40's as I have and honestly you are geriatric after 37 and honestly it has little to bearing on pregnancy. You just get extra testing. Also health is a big part. If you have had a baby in your 40's please do keep contributing on this post if not please stop as you look quiet ignorant.

With an army of nannies and housekeepers

I don't agree at all. I think the pros definitely outweigh the cons and risks. I had a baby at 38, 40 and 42.I wasn't ready before. DH was 50 when the last one was born and is a very hands on, involved father. I would 100% go for it

Nobody can plan put their life like that. Parents can pass away or become unwell at any age. What would stop a 61/73 year old offering emotional support? The OP already said she is financially in a good position so the financial support should be fine.